1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

My second secret weapon: forgiving April 26, 2008

 photo by axinia

I wrote about my first powerful weapon several times, for example here and here. It is the power of innocence. The power of a child in a person. This power lays in the base of a human being as a “childness”, manifested through innocence, wisdom, spontaneity and living in the present. In a daily life full of competition and performance pressure I naturally use this quality to act according to my own principles and – actually – for the benevolence of everyone around. That makes my life very easy and enjoyable in every moment. But there is another trick that makes my life even more comfortable and colourful. In my way I would call it my second secret weapon – the power of forgiving.

Since the message of forgiving was given by Jesus Christ two millennia ago, not much has happened in the human awareness in that direction. Luckily recently the word “forgiving ” is getting some shape in the modern human minds. After 2000 years! Better later than never, indeed.

Amazingly, people find it extremely difficult to forgive. I remember one Christian (!) lady proudly told me ” there are things in life one CAN NOT forgive!” – interesting, isn´t it?  Let`s see how it works and why forgiving is actually a very easy thing.

1. Someone`s ego is hurt. EGO, not heart. The heart can not be hurt,never belive that statement: “oh, it hurt my heart” – normally it is the ego`s expectations that were hurt, nothing else.

2. That someone starts thinking about the situation, getting angry with the person who “has hurt”… Thinking days after days, may be years… Discussing it with everyone around, gossiping etc… Some typical thoughts: I was hurt so much: how could you ever expect me to forgive and forget that. OR: I never forgive, I just get even. Or:Revenge is the best way to heal wounds. Or: I have done nothing for which I have to be forgiven.

3. The most fascinating thing is that while having all these thoughts the person thinks he/she is paying back to “the evil one”. But the “offender” often has no idea and has a nice life. In fact, the non-forgiver punishes himself/herself with these thoughts. Headaches are often the results o such thoughts!

4. At the moment when the poor thing finally says” I forgive” the whole situation dissolves and he/she can live happily ever after 🙂 Why? The act of forgiving is so powerful that it sets a huge amount of energy (which is normally wasted on the thinking about the offender) free. One can live the life fully!

I call forgiving a weapon because it always meets its target- the Mr. Ego. Like a pin that bursts a balloon.

 P.S. Interesting site on forgiving: A Campaign for Forgiveness Research funded 46 innovative research projects on the effects of forgiveness.

 LOVE, axinia





10 Responses to “My second secret weapon: forgiving”

  1. volodimir108 Says:

    interesting perspective. Forgiving seems to be really easy this way.
    thanks for sharing it with us.

  2. katisommer Says:

    There are many reasons why people can not forgive. It is just not easy. I like the comparisson you made with the balloon and a pin. It must be the point!

  3. radha Says:

    one can start becoming a free/forgiving personality only by meditating=introspecting. But it is also helpful sometimes to see the process of how it happens or gets stuck!

  4. Erin Says:

    You might like to learn more about the Campaign for Love & Forgiveness at loveandforgive.org

  5. […] time I see the conflict between nations (like Arab-Israel, Afrika, etc.) I ask myself – IS IT TOO DIFFICULT TO FORGIVE? Thanks God, I am born […]

  6. […] is at the same time the most sufficient one: Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi found out that it is FORGIVENESS that makes our heads free. When thoughts keep coming back to certain situations or people, this does […]

  7. Alenok Says:

    About ego – what an insight! I’ve never thought about it this way, although all these phrases about “broken heart” did sound wrong. Thank you, Axinia!

  8. V.E.G. Says:

    Brent Doonan forgave the gunman. Doonan is the distant cousin of author Dewey Whitley Lambdin!

  9. V.E.G. Says:

    There are a list of people who forgave the gunman:
    Dennis Wayne Blum (half-brother James Frederick Fayard, III)
    Ryan Auginash
    Alberto Hale Leos
    Steven Kendle Scharf (8th cousin of X-rated actress Juanita Slusher)
    Garrett V. Evans (African American)
    Fred H. Wilson
    Jeff Nemec (man of Czech origin and his name means mute or German)

  10. V.E.G. Says:

    Jeremiah Alvin Neitz tried to convert the gunman to Christianity, but he unfortunately chose to shoot himself. Jeremiah’s brother Mike would have said, “He don’t believe in God.” Jeremiah would have said, “Well, Mike, he does now.” Just like my brother told me about that.

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