1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

What do you think of a person who doesn’t want to drive a car? January 23, 2012

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 2:40 pm

This post is a bit fun, just to show how stereotypes work.

Today psychology has become such a common place knowledge that everyone believes to be able to make “psychological” notes on subject. A common place judgment like” oh, i know he is like this because of this problems with the father” or “aha, she likes to be beautiful because she lacks self-esteem and cannot value her looks as it is” and stuff like that. Sure you heard similar things many times.

How I have a puzzle for you: What would you say of a person who does not want to drive a car/make a driving license? As we know in the West almost everyone drives after 18, and this is such a regular thing and practically a must. It is almost a possible to meet a person without driving license. That is why if someone cannot drive people make  big eyes and start thinking what is the “problem” the person might have… A home-made psychologists usually give this judgement: “if the person does not wat to drive it means he/she is not responsible, probably self-doubting,  does not want to make decisions and to drive self confidently on the roads of life.”

And what would you suggest? Why anyone would avoid driving?

………………….

(I will give my answer after your comments).

thanks and loads of love

axinia

 

33 Responses to “What do you think of a person who doesn’t want to drive a car?”

  1. Surely self doubting person just like me. I don,t know how to drive. But i want to learn. but……….

  2. GS Says:

    Axinia, This is a interesting question. At the face of it, it would appear that the psychologists may be right.

    But here is my interpretation. Such a person realizes that one *cannot* or *does not* actually drive, or do anything. Everything simply seems to appear to happen. and the person is not the one who is *making* anything happen. So I think this person is realized the true nature of life, and simply wants to participate by experiencing life without the false idea of doing something.

    • @ GS I donot agree with u . There are two possibalitties viz either person can be technoshy or lazy or having habit of using people for self work last one is very common in here in India they think by spending little Money they can hire any person or people just like any landlord… how u can say then as realize ?
      Axinia , no wonder u will find many such people in India !!! I have my driving liaison even though I dont have car….. If possible I never use public transport I use my own vehicle.. my bike running crossed 300000 kms…

  3. swaps Says:

    The need to learn never arose.
    But he or she must learn it, it is just essential. Because one cannot always depend on other to drive him/her…in an emergency, it can be helpful.

  4. Lara Says:

    I am 21 and don’t drive. I don’t want to drive either. It is not because of I am irresponsible or a bad person. I know I can drive well, I did have my practice lisense after all. What stops me is the fear of the other people driving, they are all idiots! All my life all I have had are nightmares of not only myself but my parents dying in accidents. To add to that my dad is and was a speedracer and scared the crap out of me as I was growing up. The only reason I would consider driving now is because I couldn’t take someone to the hospital or drive when someone else needs something and/ or feels ill. I get crap all the time, it is annoying.

  5. I can’t drive, the need to learn to learn hasn’t arisen yet. I live 100 yards away from a train station, i like to walk, i’ll cycle if I need to hurry.🙂
    I expect i’ll need to learn soon but I think i’ll get a bike haha!

  6. Triveni Says:

    I too do not drive a car, although i sometimes feel like learning it. But i still havent learnt it mostly because of my laziness and the desire to learn driving is not so strong yet. There are ppl around to help in cases when i need to. Later when i would learn driving a car, i would still prefer using public transport as much as possible as i feel it reduces traffic, fuel consumption, pollution and so many more things.

  7. Hani Says:

    I do not want to drive, because always transportation is available for me. Company is providing transportation for work and with my husband I go for shopping. But I have a driving license for emergency cases. I would like to watch the plants and beautiful views during traveling instead of putting my attention on driving. This is simply the reason I do not want to drive!

  8. axinia Says:

    thanks for the comments everyone!🙂 surprised to see so many who do not drive🙂

    INf act I came to the idea of this post because – as you have probably guessed – do not drive and do not plan to learn it either. Poeple know me as highly responsible and self-confident, so the classical psychological explanation does not work here….I thought may be because I am so responsible I just don’t want one more responsibility if I can avoid it. And after all…it is so nice to be driven by someone and to enjoy the view from the window🙂

    • GS Says:

      Good one! Didn’t expect the person to be you🙂

      Its merely a personal preference, nothing right or wrong about it. Just like cooking vs eating outside, doing the dishes vs having a help, Cooking ourselves vs having a cook. I think its purely personal preference.

      From practical point of view though, we need to remember that *someone* has to do it!
      And having driven more than 150,000 miles.. I got to tell that, I just love it sometimes, and at sometimes I wish I did not have to drive🙂

      But from a larger point of view, if someone says I don’t want to do something, or not intend to do something, then that’s a very deep question from a philosophical point of view! Because all action is illusory. The idea of a Do-er then becomes illusory. If we investigate who this apparent Do-er of an action, we will discover that no such Do-er exists. Because there is no real action🙂

  9. Hi Axinia,
    this fresh news I have posted because It raises many questions.
    first thing is he was an appointed driver of MSRTC. If he is mentally ill how he got appointment? if not then just imagine with how much stress they are working ? I have seen drivers continuously driving for 36 hours. during night driving on express way u just see their eyes ? really I surprise how buses runs on roads? I dont know how u perceive this news but it was an almost one hour horror show and death toll going to increase as injured are serious, one girl already die !! ( Psychiatry says if u remain awake/sleeplessness for 72 hours u can become mad ?) u know reason for his anger and mad behavior ?.. yesterday he brought one bus from 350 km away distance and in morning he was interested in morning shift As it is not given he become angry and whole drama occurred. just imagine how much public transport is safe ? …..
    and because of not driving , happily u are giving your life in their hands Dont u feel your life is precious.. I do .. and I feel worry ( we dont know what is their physical and mental state ). I like self driving because I know at least if I take precaution I can save my life and I avoid public transport … and that’s why 300000 kms … I know family members always worried when i am on road but cant help just give one phone call of safe reaching …and still driving.. I do agree with GS I dont feel it as extra responsibility, but I love i t. I like long drive … even when I am in stress or depressed …It refreshes me ..
    thanks

  10. GS Says:

    Driving by yourself, by no means guarantees you safety. It is your desire to control the future that is making you believe that. Think of the 2006 tsunami. There was no bus, and there was no driver🙂

    • ya i agree but again I reduce probabilities…as i believe in myself ,i also believe in him/her that he/she will protect me…
      Mother says Whenever there is problem go beyond cause and effect…..problem vanishes … as u rightly mention ,If u remove cause there will be no effect … so It can be illusion too…
      thanks

  11. Tsunami was a Nature’s correction or balancing …. there is no right or wrong … as far as my concern if my wishes remain unfulfilled/unsatisfied I may take rebirth….

    • GS Says:

      So you seem to think, Tsunami is nature and the Driver is Not Nature. What makes you think humans are different from nature?
      Both are actions of nature : Tsunami and the reckless driver

      • In my view Nature does’t have any individual intention …probably driver may have …

        • GS Says:

          You need to strive to eradicate this notion that an individual, having an intention is somehow different from the Nature that seems to not have an intention.

          These are mere ideas in your mind.

          If you investigate the individual, and his/her mind, or thoughts or intentions, you will realize that such things do not exist.

          Just like the waves in an ocean doesn’t appear to have an intention, so it is with everything else in this Universe.

          There is no distinction between Human being, their minds and other things in this wonderful Universe. Everything is merely part of Nature.

          The complicated iPad or the sophisticated satellite that is investigating the terrains of Mars, are exactly as Natural as the blade of grass, or the antenna of that mosquito.

  12. I do agree with u but some how some threads are missing I am not getting that…R U relating it with my previous birth karma …?
    I Know I cant control over future but I desire ,think and work towards it at least that is in my hand . even though mind is also an illusion and drama of hormones and enzymes ..and I think I do have better control over emotions and thought ..
    For me Taking alcohol ,smoking or even taking high fatty diet or junk food , sedentary life or making cut throat competition and dirty politics in working environment … and other hand just being a wise human making oneself socially approachable and useful, wishfully leaving healthy life some time doing hardship for that , though fulfilling self desire through natural ways…… can not be same otherwise why I will purposefully select second one even though first one is easily possible and may be like too… and as u suggest both are same ????.. some thread is missing which I am not getting from your discussion ..
    Thanks

  13. GS Says:

    I am not suggesting Both are the same. But both are part of same nature.

    There is nothing right or wrong about anything. it is interpretation.

    We need both for an interesting drama.
    In a drama a thief , a hero, a victim of a crime, are all needed to make it interesting. But … All are actors. the thief is not a thief, a victim is not a victim. However… the more realistic the acting, the more exciting the story becomes. sometimes an actor becomes very involved in the role. and becomes very emotional. But soon realizes he/she is just acting. We do not punish an actor because he played the role of a thief.

    So is with the real life.🙂

    • Life is Drama … we all are actor …there is role written by author for each character and each character has its own reflection entry and exits …..so in real life I am doing some wrong work ,should continue … considering it is my role ?? not agree as a actor I should have selection of role or i should follow intrusions.. why I am behaving like that ? so witness watching and understanding of my role is nescessory….Good actor can pore once spirit and make any role remarkable still keeping himself apart . really interesting….
      thanks

      • GS Says:

        🙂

        In Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says he will be born as a savior whenever there is an imbalance of dharma.

        If God is omnipotent why does he let the adharma to rise in the first place? please ponder. Inspite of Him being omnipotent he lets it happen.

        In God’s eyes there is no bias towards dharma and adharma, because both are needed for the sustenance of the Universe. Like two sides of a coin. ordinarily it is difficult for us to accept this.

        When one (adharma or dharma) becomes dominant, then the other has to increase so that there is balance.

        same God will come in as a Tsunami, or a Hitler.

        If God is omni potent, then is there a single place where he does not exist? Do you think Hitler is not part of God? please ponder. Every single thing is part of God. every single spec of dust. there is no Right or Wrong, Good or Bad. Classifications are that of the mind.

        Yin and yang, Shiva and Shakti, Matter and Energy. we need toe dualistic differentiation for the Universe to exist.

        Can you have a language with one alphabet? You need a minimum of two alphabets to create a language. Computers use binary language. 0 and 1. why not sue only 0? or 1? we need a minimum of two to create anything🙂

        It is the individual view to categorize, classify, and create a bias.

        Because your role is to be “Good” you think that is the “right” thing to do. which is fine. similarly there will be others who may think opposite.

        It is the classification that is creating conflicts.

        Anyway, this does require considerable amount of thought, and experience. While I try to explain these, I do not want to divert the topic too much. Eventually you will realize the meaning and truth in these statements.

        Until then it is perfectly fine to have any view point🙂

  14. axinia Says:

    really interesting discussion, freinds🙂

    • shamma Says:

      I can think of heaps of reasons someone might choose not to drive, like that driving increases risk of death, and because other drivers are road raging maniacs who shouldn’t be on the road. Drivers also tend to be lazy.

      I hardly ever ask people to drive me anywhere. I am smart enough to have situated myself in an area of convenience, to me that is not a problem nor does not driving indicate a problem.

      Maybe you are just really far up yourself and can’t put yourself in someone elses shoes.
      Obviously you recognize how hard it is to get by without it, but not all of us were lucky enough to afford a car, or to have parents that would teach us.

      Get over yourselves, there is more to life.

      What happened to using our two legs to walk?

  15. I didn’t learn to drive until I was 38 . And only because I lived in a town where if you didn’t drive it made things very difficult and you missed out on going to a lot of cool places outside the town. ( em, I came from a family without a car and a father who didn’t really like cars much; possibly this was the reason I never bothered to learn until then) I can tell you one thing: it’s really hard to learn to drive when you are older , phew !

  16. Brandon Says:

    This is not at all right. I dont like to drive and i am responsible and independant. I love myself and trust myself, but I hate everyone else and distrust a lot of people.

  17. Elena Says:

    Some people just might not like the sensation of speed. I have been driving for 20 years but recently being on the road, especially in traffic triggers really bad palpitations. They come at traffic lights, at stops, etc. I have to pull over when it happens. While it may be fun for some people, some may be not just wired for this stuff. I love walking and taking public transportation. It is healthier for you anyway. And yes, it I could, I would have someone drive me. Not because I am lazy, but because my heart is telling me “don’t do this or else…”

  18. Cristhian Says:

    I have anxiety problems. I’m 21 and have been driving to and from school everyday now for about a year. I HATE IT. I avoid freeways/highways and avoid driving anywhere else besides school and home. Im actually fine when I’m the only one on the road and there’s hardly any cars around. The problem comes when there’s a lot of cars on the road and you have to be really alert when driving. I simply don’t trust other drivers and hate changing lanes. Life is stressful enough already. I don’t need the extra stress of driving a car. Simply, driving is too stressful. I am actually planning on selling my car next month when I start going to my new University. Cars are a hassle. Maintenance, costs, gas, insurance, looking for parking, parking… No thanks. I’m gonna go back to riding public transportation and let someone who is being paid to drive worry for me.

  19. MintyKeen Says:

    I’m 25 and live in North America. I am a store manager, and my store has been doing very well since I took over. I don’t have a driver’s licence. I’ve lived in 3 different places, and am currently in a fairly rural area. I walk or bike to work, and to do groceries. I am debating whether or not I want a vehicle but none of it has to do with confidence. I think I would make a fairly responsible driver, and I’m also pretty sure I’d enjoy driving. But given the state of our environment, specifically considering global warming… lets just say I feel a lot better about myself knowing I am not contributing to the problem.

  20. Barbara Says:

    why? Here are my reasons, failed the road test way too many times and lessons are getting way too pricy and I am going broke, too many idiots on the road killing themselves and other people. I am 26 I used to have a will to drive now I just don’t care anymore! Your life is more important than getting into a dangerous machinery! Rather ride transit and stay the hell off the road full of bad drivers! I get a pass cheap every year so why should I drive? It’s too dangerous!

  21. Bongo man Says:

    I’m 35 and I do not have an automobile driver’s license. I’ve never felt any direct pressure to get one since I live in a dense metropolitan city (+5 million) with excellent walking, cycling and public transit options. I’ve setup my life, successfully, multiple times, to be within a 4km radius. Work, school, groceries, gym, libraries, parks, banks, etc all within 45 minute walking radius. To me, if you have to drive every day for things, there is some kind of inbalance in your life… a distance deficit. Your car is a crutch for your long distance life. Yes, you make similar arguments about other modern luxuries like electricity, water, computers, refrigerators but really none of those compare to the ripples auto culture has in terms of energy use and infrastructure required especially for private citizens driving cars.

    Driving and owning a car personally bothers me. I’m not talking about being scared and nervous. I’m talking about the fact that I must commit to the act with mild adrenaline rushing through my body and be focused in order to be safe, efficient and courteous to other driver’s. Why do I have to have this commitment, just to get me from point A to B every day? Why can I not save my personal energy for other things like say… my actual work and hobbies? Why must I dedicate huge percentages of my time and money to this automobile thing? It’s ridiculous.

    Let me throw a wrench into my rant. I am a fully licensed motorcyclist! I’ve been riding highways and urban areas for years on various bikes like R6 supersport or retro Japanese bikes. But it was all just for fun! A luxurious hobby for enjoyment of speed, cornering and showing off. I really didn’t need it for getting from point A to B. It was tough on my left arm constantly shifting gears in urban traffic too. To be honest I really hated all the fueling up, maintenance, worrying about theft, etc. So I’m relatively rare… a full motorcyclist who’s hardly ever driven a car, let alone being licensed for cars. All this was kind of 10 years ago for me, part of my past. I’m different now.

    I am not a driver. I am not scared, I am not lazy, I am not irresponsible.

    I am mindful, disciplined, traveled, educated, ecological. I just abhor the personal and societal commitment required for an automobile lifestyle. I think it’s pathetic and try my best to stick with principles and show others what is possible.

    Am I bicycling hippy? Sure. Call me that. Here’s some more wrenches for you: I fight in MMA tournaments every year. Have done about 15 events. I’m a 6foot tall full grown cut athletic male. Guess what? I’m vegan too. Chew on that. I’ve worked web developer jobs, cameraman jobs, renovations. All I’m saying is… life does not have to begin and end with the automobile. I feel bad for all those living in spread-out American-style suburban sprawl.. truly bad… but you are living in an artificial place that has only existed for 80-years-or-so, wholly subsidized by the auto industry who designed your spread-out lifestyle so they could make MONEY off of you… meanwhile productive, efficient, fully functional dense villages, towns and cities have existed for… what… I don’t know… 10,000 freaking years?

  22. Jayaprakash Balan Says:

    I do not agree. Knowing driving is not an important qualification that one has to acquire in life, neither it proves that not knowing driving means you are irresponsible, lazy etc. its all a matter of choice. Like-wise 90% of drivers would not know swimming or cycling which is much more important and responsible because by knowing cycling, you are saving the road of traffic and saving fuel unnecessarily being used by people for travelling 10 minutes distance. Moreover, knowing driving is no fun since driving itself is no fun in crowded cities where one has to just keep pressing the clutch and brakes every minute. All said, the catch is if your parents owned a car, you would automatically be inclined to learn driving seeing the vehicle from childhood. secondly, there are a big lot of people who is not learning driving due to road-fear and thats just fair enough for oldies because while they were young, car was really a luxury.


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