1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

What I learned from the Russian-Ukrainian conflict March 29, 2014


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Since I am Russian and my beloved husband is Ukrainian, the story of the ongoing Russian-Ukrainian conflict around Crimea and more has a lot been in my attention. And because I have no TV at home and read Internet very selectively I could more or less survive the information war. But even if I try to minimise the information flow by getting possibly the first-hand impressions and facts from the people involved, I am still getting a lot of buzz from the world Russian-Ukrainian community…. It is really hard to stay cool!

However the hardship of the situation helped me to learn two great lessons. And I hope many more people will be able to see it in the same way.


This is something we learn throughout the history of humanity but obviously always forget when something happens: We are not able to find out all the reasons, all the real players and all real facts about any historical happening unless and until some time passes. The amount of totally useless thoughts in the heads of people trying to analyze the reasons and forecast the develop of the situation around Ukraine and Russia is terrifying. The heads are overheated and people keep on this nonsensical reactions. The truth is   – we will not be able to see the Truth right now. It is much more importatnt to keep a cool head and a good meditative state, and to point out the attention to the overall benevolence.


The current situation shows dramatically what huge damage to a personal development can identification with one’s nation of origin bring. Many people whom I knew as nice and spiritual, suddenly went mad about being Ukrainians or Russians, really hating the other side and some even breaking their friendships with “the enemy”. How horrible is that?!? Horrible and very sad to observe. Doest it mean all our talks and beliefs in some kind of spiritual development are mere self-illusions? This current test shows where we really stand.

It seems to me that even though in the 20th century some patriotic movements did good to some countries, we live in a different time now. What I can conclude from the current Russian-Ukrainian issue, the patriotism is only contra-productive, bringing bitter division and hate. I believe that people who consider themselves sensible, good-hearted and wise should really go beyond this false identification. It is time to become one, to accept and love people regardless their place of birth. It would be great if one day the whole of mankind would realize that. But if the spiritual people will not come to it, the rest will never come.

Let us go deeper in ourselves and honestly ask ourselves what our patriotism gives us except of an Ego? Let us go beyond, let us become one.




What about trust? June 16, 2013

image by axinia

image by axinia

Most of us would call trust is one of the basic human values. What’s the point of writing about it when it is anyway clear to everyone. My point here is to share my observations on how people relate to trust and what could be done about it if it is missing.

We all want others to trust us. But do we trust much? In my profession I have to get an idea of a person within one hour and to reach that I had to dig deep, taking straight to the values and desires. By doing so I can sense the level of trust in a person which is -alas! – often not that high. We are afraid of each other, afraid to open up and to trust. Afraid to get hurt and disappointed. I guess each of us had at least one case in life when our trust was misused. And this makes us cautious.

No need! Relax about it, my friends. Here is what my long-term observations on the trust matte show:

1.People who trust others, are more successful in life: they are more loved, more relaxed and successful in establishing long-term relationships which lead to better career chances and of course deeper and more stable friendships and families.

2.People who trust others are happier in life in general because they have less tension and fears of being misused.

One should not be too blue-eyed of course and if there are clear signs of someone’s criminal behavior one should be alert. However are many cases when even in criminal situation when approached with trust and friendliness, the negative situation could be neutralized. I once had a miraculous situation and know how amazing it could be. (more…)


Why we are looking for paradise March 19, 2013


 It is very interesting to study the lives of the great in the world. We find that some great people have almost arrived at the fulfillment of their undertakings and just before they had reached the goal they have lost it; and there have been some great people who have attained the ultimate success in whatever they have undertaken. You will always find that the souls of the former kind are the ones who were gifted with great power and yet lacked faith, while the others were gifted with the same power, and that power was supported by faith.

A person may have all the power there is, all the wisdom and inspiration, but if there is one thing lacking, which is faith, he may attain to ninety-nine degrees of success and yet may miss that very one whose loss in the end takes away all that was gained previously. There is a saying in English, ‘all’s well that ends well’, as the Eastern people say in their prayers, ‘make our end good’; for if there be a difficulty just now we do not mind, because there will be success, the real success, in its completion.
It is in this outlook that we can find the secret of the idea of Paradise, the paradise which has been spoken of by the elevated souls of all times, and in all scriptures you will find a reference to paradise is a hope in the hereafter, a hope in the future.

 When someone finds that there is no justice to be found in life, or beauty is lacking, or wisdom is not to be found anywhere, and goodness is rare, then he begins to think that justice must exist somewhere; all beauty, wisdom, goodness must be found somewhere, and that is in paradise. He thinks, ‘It exists somewhere. I shall find it one day; if not in this life, I shall find it in the hereafter; but there is a day when the fulfillment of my hope, my desire, will come.‘ This person lives; and this person lives to see his desire fulfilled. For in reality the lack that one finds in a person, in a thing, in an affair, in a condition, will not always remain. For all will be perfect, all must be perfect; it is a matter of time. And it is towards that perfection that we are all striving, and the whole universe is working towards the same goal. It is in that perfection that the thinkers and the great ones of all times have seen their paradise, because through man it is God who desires. Therefore it is not the desire of man; it is the desire of God, and has its fulfillment.

by Hazrat Ihayat Khan, “the Sufi Message”


Is it true that Russians have the strongest will power? August 2, 2012

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Again I am  here with the will power topic. Recently I talked to one American friend about handling difficult situations of “mental discussions” – when you keep arguing with someone in your thoughts, and the person has no idea about it. Apparently it is a widely spread phenomenon. When people cannot speak out they prefer to discuss it “within”. This thing can definitely make one mad!

I remember having such an experience only once in my life, some years back – for two moths I could not stop thinking about some conflict situation. Even though I have a long-term mediation experience, this work-related relationship issue was such a torn! I applied all possible yogic techniques, nothing helped. Every free minute when I was not directly busy with something else, I kept giving my arguments to the person I had an issue with. Isn’t it idiotic? At some point I was so fed up with it and really did not know what to do. And then…I decided to apply my WILL POWER : I started stopping this thinking immediately when I noticed it rising up. The next second I would say “stop it now” and indeed, I managed to completely diminish the issue by using my will power only!

When I gave this example to my American friend and ask him why don’t other people use their will power for solving hard problems, he said: “Well you know this is a very Russian thing, Russians have strong intellect and can use it powerfully. The Western people are weaker in that, they would moan and groan about and go to a psychologist/psychotherapists and wait until someone else will bring the relief. I know several Russians who solved their problems like you did but I don’t know any Westerner who would do that”. (more…)


How to enjoy yourself during troubles July 17, 2012

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The idea for this post came from my recent holiday experience where due to some technical problems many things went wrong and various difficulties had to be fought.

I noticed with surprise that despite the complicated situation I remained peaceful and yet dynamic and took right and benevolent decisions. Somehow I was not at all bothered, although at times the situation was a total disaster. At some point I realised that this is what my Guru Shri Mataji used to underline many a times: ” you have to enjoy yourself, then nothing can upset you”.  And I was indeed enjoying!

Since my life is in general free of problems, I seldome have a chance to experience it so clearly. However last week I was lucky enough to undergo a good test…  And I found out how easy it is, to enjoy myself in every situation. How did I reach this state? – no idea, most probably thanks to the years of meditaiton :).

LOVE; axinia


Is marriage really made in heaven? March 25, 2012

Five years back, being still newly married (2 years) I wrote an article MARRIAGE: MADE IN HEAVEN. At that time I was delighted about being married and enjoyed every bit of it. Here are some abstracts from the post, but please do read the full version.

“Guess why somebody’s marriage gets people around so excited? Why a wedding ceremony is regarded as the most beautiful celebration in all the cultures, among all the nations? Even though the voices for “free love” are rising high, We can not cheat the collective consciousness, subconsciousness and unconsciousness of humanity – the institution of marriage is obviously not human, it is DIVINE…  


Second brain

The common mistake of modern times (as we are being well brain-washed) is that  it is the heart that shows you your life-partner. Very seldom it is the case. Naturally it should not be the heart, but actually your stomach! The key word s of a married life are sustenance, wellbeing, satisfaction, home – referring to our subtle centers they all belong to the 3rd one, in the middle of a body. Scientifically seen it is a place of a “second brain” as well. Meeting your life partner you should feel very comfortable in your stomach. Relaxed. Safe…  


And the love? It can come later… In fact the true love always comes later! It is so easy to fall in love with many people (happens to me all the time as I love people, every single soul is such a precious treasure, diamond flower!)… People are made by and for love. For loving each other, all of us. Only when it gets romantic, it is very misleading and confusing – and the folk’s wisdom calls it “falling” in love. In the western society where people believe in love-marriage we have up to 60% divorces! – A good sign of the reliability of this concept.


Blossoming out 

Last but not least indicator is your appearance. Our true being always shines (or darkens) through: no way to hide anything behind make up or smart clothing! Naturally after getting married to the right person you will find yourself blossoming out even physically. (more…)


Another realization from my motherhood experience March 4, 2012

My sweet daughter is almost one year old now. So far I have been fully enjoying the motherhood experience and learning a lot from that.

I have realized certain things and have posted about some here, here and here. Today, rounding up this year, happy to share one more insight.


Watching my daughter grow, I can see clearly that despite her taking physically after her father and temperament-wise after her mother, she possesses her own already developed personality. I wonder how people who have children can really belive they come totally “new” into this world?! Nothing doing, more than ever I am convinced now that one soul is getting born again and again, reincarnation is not a mere theory.

One amazing thing about my baby is her conscious vegetarianism.

I should admit I am a convinced non-vegetarian myself. I tried to reject meat many years back but this did much harm to my health so I realized that at least for myself this would not work. And I never regret that, enjoying some chicken or even beef now and then. When I got pregnant, after the second month (normally when the soul is believed to enter the embryo’s body) I suddenly stopped eating meat and fish. I could not swallow a piece!  Well I thought, this is definitely not me 🙂 Thus the embryo grew as a pure vegetarian, being perfectly fit. When the time came for the baby to start taking other food additionally to milk, I was advised to try giving all kinds of food, also chicken and fish. And – imagine! – she rejects completely! Quite a conscious choice, I would say, because otherwise she is a good eater.

Now tell me what is the reason behind this? I cannot see any other except that this soul has come not only with a certain character, but with a set of habits and ideas as well, and probably a even a certain mission.

I am  sure my experience and realization about it is not unique. Please share yours!

thanks 🙂

LOVE, axinia


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