1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

To force or not to force? January 28, 2011


image by axinia


A recent article on “Chinese upbringing methods” made a splash in the web, even on the Russian Internet. If you haven’t come across it, please check the article here, I allow myself to repost it. Please read to the end! And see my comments below.

  • Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

    Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV and hours of music practice create happy kids? An excerpt from Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.”

  •  A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

    • attend a sleepover

    • have a playdate

    • be in a school play

    • complain about not being in a school play

    • watch TV or play computer games

    • choose their own extracurricular activities

    • get any grade less than an A

    • not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

    • play any instrument other than the piano or violin

    • not play the piano or violin.

    I’m using the term “Chinese mother” loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I’m also using the term “Western parents” loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

    All the same, even when Western parents think they’re being strict, they usually don’t come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It’s hours two and three that get tough. (more…)


    Overcoming fears: how I tested myself at 17 January 25, 2011

    Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 5:58 pm

    image by axinia

    At 17 I was already an experienced seeker looking for self-improvement methods. Since my childhood I was looking for answers how to become a better person and worked hard on my character and abilities. Interestingly, nobody inspired me for that, and I had no like-minded friends or elderly guidance to support me on the way, it was all my own drive, coming from deep within..

    I knew that fear was something that blocks the inner growth a lot. I had some disturbing fears such as of dogs and darkness. And I decided to overcome them.

    I used to spend every summer at my grandparents’ village, a lovely and healthy place in south of Russia. One night I decided to venture something which was a total horror for me: to climb up a big hill in the night, all alone. The distance to the hill was a rather unfriendly one: 2 houses where no-one lived and a huge field, where normally nobody would pass by at this time, except for wild dogs. The full package, so to say. Quite scary, I must tell you.

    Normally I used to walk there in the night with a company of 5-6 friends and then it was fun. Just to think of going there alone was a nightmare itself.  Actually I was already in my bed as  I suddenly realized: now or never! I dressed up a left the house unnoticed.

    That was  a pretty powerful walk. I felt that the only thing that could keep me away from the fear was…to talk to God. 🙂 Funny enough because since I grew up as an atheist I never knew how to pray. But at that moment I felt that’s the only thing I could do. And I started adressing God and aksing to save me from any possible calamity on the way.

    I passed the field and the gloomy river bank, rather courageous. And I started climbing the hill, keeping the same mode of talk to God whom I didn’t know… Here I must say that I knew the surroundings pretty well – my friends and I, we spent many days and nights playing around the place. So basically there should have been nothing new.

    AND SUDDENLY…I saw something unusual. Something whitening on top of the hill. I was shocked as I realised there was something (or somebody?!?). Could it be a horse or a cow that run away from the stable?  – Sometimes such things would happen. Is the animal probably mad? Would it be wiser to turn back? All sorts of suppositions and fears run through my poor head. But I stayed firm: I decided to overcome the fear, and be what it should be, I would reach the top of the hill. And I continued walking up, coming closer to the unknown subject. “Well dear God, I am sure you will protect me” I continued talking to God and all of a sudden I heard a voice asking:  “Axinia, is that you?”. (more…)


    Meditation is (my) basic need January 20, 2011

    A traditional list of immediate “basic needs” is food (including water), shelter, and clothing. Since years a meditation has become another basic need for me. I mean that. Meditation is something I cannot do without, just because it’s a natural physical requirement. It is not only the fact that I feel good after any meditation, but – what’s really fascinating! – that my body itself creates a demand for a meditation even if I manage to “skip” it due to the so-called lack of time.

    I am practicing sahaja meditation  for 15 years by now and through that time I have noticed an interesting phenomenon: if I happen to miss my morning meditation, my body itself “creates” it!  This works the following way: when my body realises that neither at 8, 9 or 10 o’c clock in the morning I will have a chance to meditate, at the latest around midday (but never at the same time) my Kundalini starts rising stronger and stronger along my spinal cord, shooting out on top my head which creates the cool breeze above my head and I just literary fall into the meditative state because the bliss coming down my brain from above is just so amazing and relaxing that I cannot resist meditation for several minutes…

    This happens totally without my thought about it and any effort on my side, naturally wherever I am at the moment – in the bus, in the office, at home… It feels like a huge portion of living energy is being poured down on me and I get a great energetic supply for the rest of the day. Isn’t it a wonder?

    Basically all that happens without any concern of my mental self, a demand for meditation created by my own body and Spirit. Thus for me it became another basic need.

    And I am sure I am not the only one with such experience.

    Here is a short animation on how it apparently looks like:




    Business intelligence and what I learned from it January 18, 2011

    Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 11:53 am

    image by axinia

    The phenomenon I want to post here about I call myself “business intelligence”, although it does not correspond with the existing term which speaks of business intelligence as computer-technologies designed to assist in business decision-making. The business intelligence I mean is the next one after the multiple intelligences by H.Gardner which I figured out of my professional experience as  Human Resources manager and Executive Search consultant.

    I would explain business intelligence as the

    1. ability to see new opportunities in a regular situation, especially  -of cause! the ability to create businesses and  actually make money
    2. ability to negotiate with others in a way that the best suitable solution for everyone is found, to achieve the win-win situation
    3. ability to see everything as a play

    I must admit that I totally lack this kind of business intelligence. However interestingly life has been giving me jobs and friendships with people who are brilliant at that. All my bosses have been gifted with business intelligence, being a gorgeous representatives fo this principles. The clients and the partners of the companies I work/used to work for are mostly “high net worth” individuals, people who designed and build up their business mostly form zero, and any communication with them highlights this principle very much. Thus since last 7 years I have been not only observing but slowly-slowly learning something from that.

    Well I have not learn how to make money  and I guess I never will :). I mean I am just not able to see the opportunity and the necessity to charge for something, I always think in terms of doing things for free…what to do, this is my nature. BUT: What I really started understanding and trying out is the flexibility in decision-making and negotiations. Which is still pretty tough for me. Because “out of the box” thinking is obviously not my strength. 🙂 And I can see how helpful this can be, in all daily situations. (more…)


    How do you define spiritual depth in a person? January 16, 2011

    Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 8:36 am

     My friend Kabar posted a very interesting question on his blog:

    How do you define spiritual depth in a person?

    Here is what he says:

    “The deepest spiritual people that I know all have one thing in common: balance.

    Perhaps balance is our most natural state and when we have that state we come into contact with our spirit?

    image by axinia

    These deep people do not pretend to be something more than they are. They are very comfortable within themselves and also very normal. I think that to be normal is a sign of high spiritual achievement. When people appear to be great or act like they are something more than they are, it is a clear sign of insecurity. If someone is great and deep that is what they are; they do not bother with trying to prove it to others. The greatness of their spirit is coming through them and they need not take credit for it.

    Humor is another quality that I have seen in deep people. They are not afraid to laugh and do so often. No matter how much effort people put in to growing spiritually if they loose their ability to laugh then they are missing the big picture.”- continue reading here.

    Kabar is calling out for inputs to this topic, please share your ideas on his blog or here, we both are really looking froward to your definitions!

    Here is my humble try to define it:  (more…)


    Maya January 13, 2011

    image by axinia

    That I should make much of myself and turn it on all sides,
    thus casting colored shadows on thy radiance
    —such is thy Maya.

    Thou settest a barrier in thine own being
    and then callest thy severed self in myriad notes.
    This thy self-separation has taken body in me.

    The poignant song is echoed through all the sky in many-coloued tears
    and smiles, alarms and hopes; waves rise up and sink again,
    dreams break and form.
    In me is thy own defeat of self.

    This screen that thou hast raised is painted with innumerable figures
    with the brush of the night and the day.
    Behind it thy seat is woven in wondrous mysteries of curves,
    casting away all barren lines of straightness.

    The great pageant of thee and me has overspread the sky.
    With the tune of thee and me all the air is vibrant,
    and all ages pass with the hiding and seeking of thee and me.

    poem by Rabindranath Tagore


    Determination as a key to success – a new shade of the old rule January 10, 2011

    Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 10:02 am
    Tags: , , , , , , , ,

    image by axinia

    Observing myself and others over the years I came to an interesting conclusion that the main thing that makes a difference in our lives’ achievements – both worldly and spiritual is nothing but determination.

    Well, nothing much new about this statement, right? The only thing I want to contribute to the topic is that there is no need to be determined with strain and pain. Determination/perseverance  – the term has a hard image and you can picture yourself a hard work behind. Not necessary!

    The term determination stays for ability to be disciplined, consistent and see things through till the end.

    My experience shows that mostly it is the matter of ATTENTION, not really efforts. The attention has to be persistent, not the actual actions – they will follow naturally and without any strain. I am always amused how it works!

    In my professional life: Say, as an Executive Search Consultant I am looking for a job candidate with a rare set of skills and experiences. I keep it  in my attention all the time and at some point, rather soon, I just come across such a person, often truly by chance! I may make some requests here and there, but the true gems come my way like attracted.

    Same in the private life:  by keeping my attention on some task I have to accomplish, a simple or difficult one, I meet the right people who can assist, I find the right information or simply I find myself being lucky with circumstances. (more…)


    Changing Education Paradigms – another brilliant insight on education! January 6, 2011

    The video in my previous post was showing severe problems the global society is facing,  and here comes  one of the solutions. I found this animation very well presented and highly insightful.

    Creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson challenges the way we’re educating our children. He champions a radical rethink of our school systems, to cultivate creativity and acknowledge multiple types of intelligence.

    Why don’t we get the best out of people? Sir Ken Robinson argues that it’s because we’ve been educated to become good workers, rather than creative thinkers. Students with restless minds and bodies — far from being cultivated for their energy and curiosity — are ignored or even stigmatized, with terrible consequences. “We are educating people out of their creativity,” Robinson says. It’s a message with deep resonance. Robinson’s TEDTalk has been distributed widely around the Web since its release in June 2006.

    The most popular words framing blog posts on his talk? “Everyone should watch this.”

    A visionary cultural leader, Sir Ken led the British government’s 1998 advisory committee on creative and cultural education, a massive inquiry into the significance of creativity in the educational system and the economy, and was knighted in 2003 for his achievements. His latest book, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything, a deep look at human creativity and education, was published in January 2009.

    LOVE, axinia


    The Six Principles of Global Manipulation January 4, 2011

    Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 4:48 pm

    This is a brilliant video and text to it- nothing really new for those who are interested but well summed up and easy to digest.

    What is Globalization? 

    In the 20th century the human race was confronted with such a natural phenomenon as globalization. Globalization can be defined as the process of concentration of power over all the mankind in one person or a small group. This process has been under way throughout the whole human history and is now near completion. Centuries ago Ancient Egyptian priests became aware that globalization can be controlled. They have worked out the overall principles and patterns of controlling society to achieve their own goals, and headed up this process. Let us take a look at how globalization process is being controlled now.

    Principle 6. Weapon of War.

    “War is the continuation of politics by other means”  Karl von Clausewitz

    The oldest and fastest way of controlling people has always been the war. The object of any war is the conquest of territories, wealth, human resources or complete elimination of enemy. World history has witnessed a great number of brutal wars. Global evolution has been creating more and more elaborate and sophisticated weapons of destruction and enslavement. At present the human race has found itself trapped by the need to spend a constantly increasing amount of resources on the endless arms race. And ultimately it has created a weapon which along with the enemy can destroy the entire civilization.

    Principle 5. Weapon of Genocide.

    “All the crimes on Earth do not destroy so many of the human race, nor alienate so much property, as drunkenness” – Sir Francis Bacon

    The next step in the process of globalization was the transition from “hot wars” waged by ordinary weapons to “cold wars” waged through the so called “cultural co-operation”. It’s possible to completely eliminate or subdue a whole nation to one’s own will by means of such genocide weapons as drugs, alcohol, tobacco, several types of vaccines and genetically modified foods. Yet to keep people unaware of the destructive nature of these weapons they have been disguised as superficially harmless means of relaxation, stress relief, amusement and acquiring immunity to disease. This idea is being inculcated in the minds through culture, mass media, and specially planted proverbs and tokens. In reality these substances are dangerous poisons undermining the genetics of the human species, destroying the human being both morally and physically, wiping out the existing and future generations. Russia annually loses more than 700 thousand human lives due to the effects of alcohol consumption only. Is it a conscious and free choice of every person? Negative! This is an artificial and false option imposed on us through culture. It suggests that from the very cradle a person is to pick either a lie number 1 – ‘take dope moderately’ or a lie number 2 – ‘take as much dope as you please’.

    Principle 4. Economical.

    “Give me control of a nation’s money and I care not who makes the laws” – Mayer Amschel Rothschild

    Globalizers see no point in destroying nations completely. They are better off leaving a part of the slaves’ population alive having subdued its economics to their narrow clannish interests, but also in such the manner that a nation hasn’t the slightest idea of what is really going on. This can be done through universal money and the institution of credit, by means of usurious interest rates that allow the bankers’ clans to receive skyrocketing profits from credit interest without creating any values for the society, while other people, their families, entire nations have to spend their lives paying off debt and essentially become slaves. The realization of this mechanism requires more time, because in the first place it is critical to instill the inconsistent economic science into the society. But the payoff is really huge. The reason is that regardless of whether people take credits or not, whether they understand these instruments or not, the whole society has practically fallen into economic dependence on a small social stratum of bankers and is now powering this system like batteries. (more…)


    White frost: when Nature is a painter January 1, 2011

    Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 6:00 pm
    Tags: , , , , ,

    The phenomenon of frost has been fascinating me since ever…it is so fragile and fine, and yet very powerful because it transforms the whole surrounding and makes a true masterpiece out of every leaf ( of cause any leaf is a masterpiece already, but we are used to their common look)!

    It has been a long time dream of mine to capture this moment of white frost in the nature, and I am glad I finally got it! – althouhg, honestly, these images are so far from the real beauty the Mother Nature created and my eyes could see…

    All these images I have taken on the 31st of December 2010 – my present to myself for the New Year 🙂

    LOVE, axinia


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