1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Why by saying “I forgive” we can stop thinking? February 6, 2009

image by axinia

We learn how to think all our childhood. Later on we learn how to think “better” – how to develop the ability to analyze, evaluate, generalize, etc.

Until at some point we understand that we are sick of thinking. I keep meeting successful businessmen who are desperately looking for the ways how to stop their excessive thinking.

The easiest way to stop thinking is at the same time the most sufficient one: Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi found out that it is FORGIVENESS that makes our heads free. When thoughts keep coming back to certain situations or people, this does not let us enjoy the present moment – and it is a problem. It simply means that there is something that we could not forgive and forget! Thus “I forgive everyone and myself” is a powerful mantra against headaches and annoying thinking.

But what makes forgiveness that powerful? Recently my husband gave a brilliantly simple explanation: Forgiveness is a kind of a shock for our mind. The humanity has never learned to forgive (although it has been 2 millennium since Christ brought that message!), and it is something very “unnatural” for our mentality – the first spontaneous reaction to a hurting behaviour towards us it to hurt back. It is the first impulse, unfortunately. That is why by saying “I forgive” our mental computer simply shuts down 🙂  – our brain software does not operate in that mode and can not produce such a command spontaneously.

There can be surely some other totally different reasons why forgiveness brings mental stillness to our overheated heads, but I just love that insightful explanation.

Whatever it is, forgiveness works! Even if we say it mechanically several times, not remembering whom and why we forgive…

Just try it out!




32 Responses to “Why by saying “I forgive” we can stop thinking?”

  1. KOPELLL Says:

    Yes, i will!

  2. “Forgive your enemies; nothing could hurt them more” – Forgiveness is indeed powerful, with ourselves and also with others.

    Destination Infinity

  3. As usual, I beg to differ here, Axinia 🙂 It’s not a question of forgiveness per se, but a question of who to forgive and what to forgive.

    One can forgive an unintentional action if one knows that it was unintentional and if the offender realises the mistake and regrets it or sincerely apologises for it.

    But how can one forgive someone who does something with the wicked intention to cause hurt to others 😡 and derive satisfaction (and other things) from hurting others? Such people do not deserve to be forgiven! They must be paid back in their own currency!

    You seem to believe that all humans are civilised beings, Axinia. I don’t think that’s the case. Humans come in all kinds of packages. Some are real sadists with no hope of reform. Others are creatures that would put blood-thirsty savage beasts to shame with their barbarism. Such creatures don’t even have the basic norms of civilised behaviour that even the lowest animals exhibit 😡

    The problem with Christ was that he was a great saint (I don’t believe in the imaginary entity called “God” of any kind, or of any religion). And saints, as you know, are one in a billion or even less. So their behaviour cannot be held up as a model for the rest of humanity. Let all humans become civilised creatures first, then they can aspire for saintly things.

    Christ’s message of forgiveness cannot be applied to everybody. In any case, Christ had his revenge, long after he was crucified, when Christianity (in a very different form, sadly) became the religion of the lands of the Roman empire as it crumbled, pushing various pagan beliefs out of existence 😐

  4. draupadi16 Says:

    It is courious, but my experiences so long had shown me one thing:
    For me it is harder to forgive myself than others!
    But nevertheless I´m learning by doing.
    Kind regards from Draupadi.

  5. axinia Says:

    Raj, learning forgivenss is the next step in human evolution, even if it will take one more millinnium, it will be so. Why I am sure?? Because people ARE evolving, at least some part of humanity.
    Intrestingly I notice that since last 2 decades people in the West started talking about forgiveness more and more, started thinink of it AT ALL… So things are chinging…slowly but steadily. In fact, if people will learn forgiveness they will not need to kill any more!

    Regarding your point that “It’s not a question of forgiveness per se, but a question of who to forgive and what to forgive.” – I do not see anything to discuss here, There is nothing in this life that can not be forgiven because WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE after all??

    I was born with the ability to forgive easily and I do forgive everything , even if i had to experience some brutatlity in my life – does not matter, I just forgive, that is my nature.

  6. Axinia, you ask:

    WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE after all??

    I agree that one has no right to judge someone who has not harmed one directly or indirectly.

    But WHO will judge someone who has intentionally and deliberately hurt one and derives sadistic pleasure and material gain out of it? Definitely NOT the imaginary entity called “God”! (There is no such thing as a “God” who takes care of justice.) Or the law or any other man-made institution. As you probably know, the law is only for those who cannot control the law with their wealth or power. No wonder, the law is an ass! There may be places where the law may function acceptably, but it’s just an aberration.

    If there was justice in this world, there would have been peace. There is no peace in this world only because there is no justice. Peace cannot exist without justice!

    You feel that people in the West have begun thinking of forgiveness…okay, it seems the people of Europe have learnt their lessons after centuries of extreme bitterness and hostility…so they have learnt to live in peace and have built institutions to avoid conflict among themselves and tackle common challenges together.

    What about others? Why are humans so disgusting that they still kill each other and wound each other by the hundreds of thousands deliberately and intentionally every year?

    Which other species on Earth does this to members of its own species? Which other species on Earth does everything in its power to destroy everything by multiplying at an uncontrollable rate and killing each other (and destroying the Earth) at the same time?

    Something I found:

    “I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you’re not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure.”

    —Agent Smith from The Matrix

    One is expected to know things, to believe things. Knowing and believing are all in your head – there is nothing in your heart. If you cannot feel that the earth is your grandmother, then of course you will find it easy to rape her, to behave as if she is under your dominion. You will find it easy to believe that we humans are the dominant species, and to act as though the earth and everything on it are ours to do with as we please. … if all human beings were taken away, life on earth would flourish.

    —Russell Means

    “Let’s pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.”

    —C.S. Lewis

    Axinia, Homo sapiens are not going to evolve into Homo spiritualis as you hope 😦 They are evolving into Homo rapiens 😡

  7. @Raj: Your comment implies that there is no God because there is no justice and the concept of God is fully imagined.

    For the first part, If God needs to ensure justice with each and every person on this planet, he could very well ensure that nothing bad or immoral happens in the first place. Why let it happen and then bother to do justice to each and every wrong act committed by homo sapiens? Why should we imagine or want God to act like some kind of a referee?

    The patterns that life takes are quite complex but yet there is a rhythm. And to think that all this happens due to randomness without some higher power controlling it, cannot be feasible. It is that higher power that we could imagine as God. And if you think Justice is not delivered, think again. Maybe it is! But there is also a very good chance that it is not. And I fear the first possibility more than the second one!

    Secondly, even if the concept of God is fully imagined, the purpose of having such a concept is very practical. Imagine that there was a great saint in the older times. He spends his whole lifetime figuring out the complexities of life. He tries to answer all the bigger questions of life without much success. Then he decides that it is better to explain these things with an imaginary concept called God instead of searching for a black coat in a dark hall at midnight, which is a complete waste of time! So, it is quite practical to have such concepts – and religion is interlinked with so much of our activities including the economic aspect. And if people misuse this, you can’t blame it on God. That is the easiest thing to do.

    Destination Infinity

  8. DI,

    I’m certainly not blaming “God” because I don’t believe in such a thing in the first place! 🙂 That’s why I blame humans. Human behaviour is responsible for all the problems of the world 😡

    Now, about this imaginary entity called “God”. I don’t think that there is any “higher power” controlling everything. Sure, there are many forces beyond the control of man. But a force that controls every single thing in this world, what people call “the all mighty” force simply cannot be feasible.

    Attributing things that cannot be explained to some “higher force” is what one would call superstition. By failing to find out explanations for things that one does not understand and instead attributing it to “God” is nothing but relinquishing the power of reason that humans are supposed to have. Sure, it’s not possible to know everything at once, but why did humans get the ability to reason which other creatures may not have? An animal may be afraid of fire and run away from it because it does not know what it is. It only knows that it would get hurt by it. The primitive cavemen must have behaved in the same way till they knew how to control fire and create a fire. So he acquired knowledge about something that he did not understand.

    Similarly, there are many things that we may not know at the moment. Instead of trying to understand it, if we just attribute it to some “higher force”, then what’s the difference between a modern human and a caveman? If humans just attributed diseases to some “higher force”, then we would never have discovered medicines.

    Instead of trying to light a lamp to see in the darkness, there is no use in trying to claim that the darkness was caused by some “higher force” and that one should not dispel the darkness. That is a typical mindset of a superstitious caveman who does not have the ability to reason or find answers to things that he does not know.

  9. radha Says:

    i love to shock myself then 🙂

  10. Joao Leitao Says:


    thank you for this article. it does help to say those words, to talk a little bit to ourselves and to free our mind from unwated thoughts.

    i did it, it works. thank you! greetings from sahara desert.

  11. axinia Says:

    wow, thanks, Joao Leitao!! I am glad it helped you 🙂

  12. @Raj: I will also quote from the movie Matrix (My favorite too 🙂 )

    “What is real? How do you define real? If you are talking about your senses, what you feel, taste, smell or see then all you are talking about is the electrical signals interpreted by your brain” – Morpheus in Matrix

    That is all the problem. What if we are being deliberately misled? (Maybe not by God, but by an alien perhaps?) What if there are many more dimensions that the current ones which we realize? What if there are many more senses than the ones that we already possess?

    Think of it like this. If a person is born blind, he can never understand colours. So, if we have limited understanding of certain concepts like time (When did time start? How can we understand it?) it is because they have been kept away from us. Maybe, reasoning could be a concept which has been created to divert us from the truth? Maybe truth in itself is a big lie?

    There are a lot of questions that are grossly unanswered. Neither by cavemen nor by the scientists. Not even by the religionists.

    Destination Infinity

  13. DI,

    Unfortunately, I haven’t seen any of the Matrix movies 😦 I’ll try to watch them sometime in the future 🙂

    We aren’t being deliberately mislead 🙂 Because we lead ourselves! That’s the beauty of science and reason! Sure, there may be many more dimensions that we may not be aware of, but it’s the job of science to find it out!

    Also a person who is born visually challenged may not be able to see colours, but he can understand the concept of colours with a little effort. Do you doubt it? Then how are we able to understand the concept of ultra-violet and infra-red rays though we cannot see them or ultrasonic and infrasonic sound even if we are not able to hear them? Why, we even use these concepts in several devices though we cannot see or hear them! That’s the beauty of science and reason! To find an answer to the unknown, to explain the unexplained! 🙂

    It’s the job of science and reason to lead one to the absolute truth! 🙂 Even if several answers are not available now, they will be available later. That’s why science and reason is always progressive while blind belief is always regressive!

  14. axinia Says:

    DI and Raj,
    many thanks for that intresting conversation!

    I think there is no need to oppose science to the blind beief – non of us is taking blind belief seriously, right?

    It is only…scince, however intelligent it is, will never be able to ánswer all the questions…Even the simple ones like “what is the purpose of life?”

  15. swaps Says:

    I can forgive only someone I love, other can at best be ignored.

  16. axinia Says:

    intresting take, swaps 😉
    so, basically, to learn forgiveness you have to start loving everyone!

  17. swaps Says:

    including Yulia T ??

  18. kanagu Says:

    thats an interesting thought Axinia 🙂 I have thought about it. I will try to follow it soon for my own goodness of not busting my head

  19. swaps Says:

    So Australian police musn’t look for the arsonists? Just forgive whoever they were eh?

    Better still, shall we forgive the lone terrorist we have captured?

  20. axinia Says:

    swaps, we shall forgive everyone.
    please dont list all the problems here which are “unforgivable” -there is no such. Basically forgivness will solve ALL problems between people – no wars, nor violence…dont you see it?

  21. swaps Says:

    Axinia, I can easily forgive those I’ve listed, for they are only the symptoms of a disease.
    But the disease itself can be cured only through pardon (shall I say, MUTUAL pardon). Before pardon comes repentance, if that is lacking, forgiving is a pointless. And before repentance one must suffer.
    As I see it, the order is immutable…
    mutual pardon,
    finally, love.

    When people say ‘let’s get out of this crisis by 2010’, I wonder if mankind is capable of introspection. So ‘forgiving’ is still very very far away 😦

  22. This is a wonderful blog. I have on similar lines as I am understanding the beauty and power of forgiving. We free ourself completely when we forgive. This is the most beautiful gift we can give ourselves. JSM and love to you.

  23. axinia Says:

    Thank you Rina, it was a pleasant surprise to see your blog and your wonderuf lines…

  24. leelajesus Says:

    nice example with the shock 🙂 I have never seen it this way but I like it!
    there is also another point about forgiveness: not to forgive is to give people some kind of power over us. they have the power to make us angry or bitter or anything…
    to forgive is like cutting the bonds of attachment and to become free.

    forgiveness is freedom! 🙂

  25. axinia Says:

    wonderful point, leela!!!

    “not to forgive is to give people some kind of power over us. they have the power to make us angry or bitter or anything…” – brillinat!!! hope people will understand it one day..

  26. Axinia,

    You ask: I think there is no need to oppose science to the blind beief – non of us is taking blind belief seriously, right?

    Axinia, you were brought up in an environment where science and reason were encouraged and blind belief was outlawed. And you live in a place where people don’t take blind belief seriously. When the Europeans took blind belief seriously, they were living in the dark ages. But they emerged out of the dark ages long, long ago.

    Believe me, there are plenty of places in the world science and reason are discouraged and blind belief is encouraged by vested interests. In such places, it’s a constant battle between the forces of blind belief and the forces of science and reason as it was in mediaeval Europe.

    Take a look at this for instance:

    Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India’s Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

    The bovine brew is in the final stages of development by the Cow Protection Department of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), India’s biggest and oldest Hindu nationalist group, according to the man who makes it.

    Om Prakash, the head of the department, said the drink – called “gau jal”, or “cow water” – in Sanskrit was undergoing laboratory tests and would be launched “very soon, maybe by the end of this year”.

    “Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too,” he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. “Its USP will be that it’s going to be very healthy. It won’t be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins.”

    Related Links
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    The drink is the latest attempt by the RSS – which was founded in 1925 and now claims eight million members – to cleanse India of foreign influence and promote its ideology of Hindutva, or Hindu-ness.

    Hindus revere cows and slaughtering them is illegal in most of India. Cow dung is traditionally used as a fuel and disinfectant in villages, while cow urine and dung are often consumed in rituals to “purify” those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system.

    In 2001, the RSS and its offshoots – which include the opposition Bharatiya Janata Party – began promoting cow urine as a cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.

    The movement has often been accused of using more violent methods, such as killing 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year, and assaulting women in a pub in Mangalore last month. It also has a history of targeting foreign business in India, as in 1994, when it organised a nationwide boycott of multinational consumer goods, including Pepsi and Coca Cola.

    The cola brands are popular in India, now one of their biggest markets, but have struggled in recent years to shake off allegations, which they deny, that they contain dangerous levels of pesticide.

    Mr Prakash said his drink, by contrast, was made mainly of cow urine, mixed with a few medicinal and ayurvedic herbs. He said it would be “cheap”, but declined to give further details about its price or ingredients until it was officially launched.

    He insisted, however, that it would be able to compete with the American cola brands, even with their enormous advertising budgets. “We’re going to give them good competition as our drink is good for mankind,” he said. “We may also think of exporting it.”


    Axinia, you will probably get a “cool can” of packaged cow urine in Vienna in some months time, if those rogues succeed in their plans. Are you going to drink it 😀

    Now, do you still think that no one is taking blind belief seriously 😕

    Let those “Hindu Taliban” sell their “cool cans” of packaged and spiced up cow urine to all those who they want to include in their ranks of “Hindus”.

    I have nothing to do with those blind believers. Science is my religion!

  27. Also, you ask: It is only…scince, however intelligent it is, will never be able to ánswer all the questions…Even the simple ones like “what is the purpose of life?”

    That is a philosophical question, one can that have as many answers as you want. It’s not the job of science to answer philosophical questions since they don’t have a fixed answer. For such a question, any answer is as good as any other and they fall outside science.

  28. Prometheus Says:

    Hi Axinia.
    In fact, I would consider myself a forgiving person. I learned this not from books but because I was raised to think it that way. There were some instances where I felt annoyed by some person. But the mere thought that I should react in kind or even hate somebody by heart makes me look very small in my eyes. So I just let it go, knowing that life is so short and we should live it in full without hatred and prejudice.
    The greatest victory we can make is the one we make against our own egos and prejudices.

  29. axinia Says:

    Prometheus, that is absolutely brillinat –

    “The greatest victory we can make is the one we make against our own egos and prejudices” – but we tend to forget it, unforutnately :(.

  30. rinatripathi Says:

    Wonderful reading these posts, specially those about Sahaja. Forgiving has healed me and freed me completely. Love and peace to you.

  31. […] 1. FORGIVING POWER: I not only forgive easily, I just never feel offended. I understand that people will be people, they all have different ideas, and some have difficult lives or character…what to do? I just keep this very tolerant attitude to humans. You may like to read my post on forgiveness. […]

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