1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience


 photo by vova

This is a kind of a self-portrait.

Filling up a form for an intellctual discussion club BIZZLOUNGE I was confronted with a task to shortly describe philosophy of my life in one sentence.

Not an easy task! What expesses my life-phylosophy the most?

Suddenly it strock my head: it is so simple!

I put it in 3 words: JOY, BEAUTY, ETERNITY…

And YOUR life-sentence?




Why I almost never watch films May 30, 2007

We like something because we can identify ourselves with it.

I remember some years ago the hype about “Star wars” – I could not understand why I did not really like the film until I realised I could not actually identify myself with any character in there. Strangely enough, as in “Matrix” (similar stuff) I could identify myself even with two characters!

I go to see a movie once in 2 years. I have a TV at home, but I watch it once in a month (information and news Ii get – of course! – from Internet).

Yesterday I had some time and decided to see a film – why not, after all? Actually I saw even two and finally realised why I do it so seldom. (more…)


Where have I come from, where did you pick me up? May 29, 2007


photo by axinia

Where have I come from, where did you pick me up?” the baby asked
its mother.

She answered, half crying, half laughing, and clasping the
baby to her breast-

“You were hidden in my heart as its desire, my darling.

You were in the dolls of my childhood’s games; and when with
clay I made the image of my god every morning, I made the unmade
you then.

You were enshrined with our household deity, in his worship
I worshipped you.

In all my hopes and my loves, in my life, in the life of my
mother you have lived. (more…)


Esci dal rumore… May 28, 2007


photo Amery Carlson

Esci dal rumore

scopri il silenzio


vieni e prova la



il tuo vero se`

 ti aspetta


My favorite invitation for SY meditaiton in Italian – so deep and so poetical…

LOVE, axinia


Never teach your spouse any language but the language of love! May 25, 2007


I know many intercultural couples where partners do not speak the same language. And the first idea that comes into their heads is: why not teach each other? Mostly they decide upon learning one language and… here we are!

I hardly – if ever – know any couple which succeeded in following these good intentions. And I know hundreds and hundreds of such cases… Why? What stops them all?

I realized it only when I found myself in a similar situation.

My husband and me, we have one  mother-tongue (Russian). But my husband moved to German-speaking Austria only recently and his German needs to be developed. As for me, I not only love German the most (I wrote about it before) but I used to teach German for foreigners. “Great combination” – said our friends, “he is lucky to have a good teacher of German at home”…

It never worked out, though we had tried really hard (could not find appropriate time, method, system) . Finally I realised two simple things: (more…)


These spiritual window-shoppers… May 24, 2007


photo  axinia

These spiritual window-shoppers,
who idly ask, ‘How much is that?’ Oh, I’m just looking.
They handle a hundred items and put them down,
shadows with no capital.

 What is spent is love and two eyes wet with weeping.
But these walk into a shop,
and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,
in that shop.

 Where did you go? “Nowhere.”
What did you have to eat? “Nothing much.”

 Even if you don’t know what you want,
buy _something,_ to be part of the exchanging flow.

 Start a huge, foolish project,
like Noah.

 It makes absolutely no difference
what people think of you.

RUMI (1207-1273)


What to do with easily offended people? May 23, 2007

  photo julesangel

Since I was I child I could not understand why to get offended (needless to say I never felt offended myself). Later I found out that it is a very valuable quality as it makes my life extremely easy and free from all sorts of stupid stuff (mental over-activity and heart pains).

My close relatives where however not of that type and and it took me some hard training to show them that feeling offended really makes no sense . And it worked! – by now my mom and my sister keep saying how grateful they are for that treatment.

When somebody says “he hurt my feelings!” – I am sure it is not at all about hurting feelings! It is about hurting Ego…


However even if I am not of that type, now and then easily offended people cross my way. I find it extremely difficult to communicate with such people: they can feel hurt even for a compliment!

Once I told to one artist that her works are so wonderful, like from the shop window! – I meant it looked so great as if not hand made. She did not like to talk to me any more. What is there to feel bad about?

Luckily I met only few such people. However I know that far too many of otheres still find themselves offended, though less easily.

I learned a lesson and found out two ways to handle such situations: (more…)


%d bloggers like this: