1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Have you got a mentor? November 20, 2013

image by axinia

image by axinia

Since I was a child I had an enormous drive to self-development. And although many wonderful people surrounded me, no one could serve me as a role model and teach me things I was looking for. I was all on my own, trying to understand myself and the world, reading serious literature at 10, being busy with geo-political questions at 12 and writing a thesis in philosophy at 15. After having swallowed a huge amount of books I realised that my steps in self-development are still too slow and I lack some practical approach. Too much theory makes no sense. Then I tool to psychology and was soon disappointed at the negative nature of this kind of science. All trainings I went through looked interesting but had the yo-yo effect: all changed they have brought, vanished after some time. Something solid and substantial was badly missing in my life.

Thus at 20 I was desperately asking God to save me a Teacher. I realised I needed SOMEONE who could show me the right way and give not only some beautiful theory but also a real practical application of it. Shortly after feeling this I came to Sahaja Yoga which fulfilled all my spiritual self-development desires. I was more that happy to get he guidance of the most amazing Gurus of all times, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi who was so generous in not only revealing endless secret knowledge about human nature, and actually gave fantastic instruments to an easy and quick self-development, which was my primary and the only wish.

However due to my highly idealistic and spiritual nature I soon realised how “immature” and naïve I was regarding the daily matters. At 22 I found myself all alone in a foreign country – divorced, brocken, without any means to existence. Many good people wanted to support me, and luckily did that. However I needed to stand up on my own….but… I obviously could not do it alone, because my views on life were too naive…And here comes another wonderful gift of destiny into play!

A met a person who became my best mentor ever in all “material” questions. When I first saw this person I thought: “Well probably he would help with a job?” – and how right this supposition was! We became friends, and out of the nature of this person, he on his own wish become my mentor. In the beginning of our friendship he used to invite me for a dinner and ask about my life views. Then he tried to show me the different perspective. He had a solid banking background and two MBA’s in Wealth Management – imagine, just the opposite of the direction which I would choose. In fact, he was really educating me – free of charge, but with a back thought: at some point he opened his own company and invited me to join. Then he kept training me as his assistant. He tought me how to ask right questions, how to see in the  “material” root of every issue, how to “check” people, how to keep the philosophical attitude to work and money. I recently realised that all I know about the material side of live I due to my dear mentor! I would never be able to learn it myself, at least not in one life. He made it very easy and applicable to me. No need to say I am still working for this person and more than happy about it :).

I don’t know about other’s experiences on that but my life shows that one needs a good mentor to come forward. I feel so lucky that both – my spiritual and material seeking have been fulfilled and this gave me a chance to become a mentor for others too. This is the way it works.




Does money spoil people? November 8, 2013

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 12:42 pm
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image by axinia

There is a common belief that money spoil people. Stories are being told of nice people who, after getting rich, become horrible. I tend not to belive in such transformation. Let me show you why.

Since several years I work very closely with bankers, particularly with private bankers, who deal only with so-called High-Net-Worth-Individuals. It means these bankers operate with million-dollar/euros accounts and enjoy various benefits from assisting their affluent clients. Also many have a chace of earning a lot with side-services, even illegally. So basically one is very much exposed to seeing big money and the chances to get rich too. My observations show that people who are good-natured and decent, honest and self-respecting remain the same. The ones who have had some “worm” of indecency, are getting worse and worse…Yes, money spoils but only whose who are already spoiled. 

I think even moeny can be the best litmus test ever: Give a person access to big moeny and see if and how he/she will change. I bet that truly grounded, stable personalities will remain within theri best qualities and will only show more generosity.

This is again my very personal observation. Have any of you got the feeling of the opposite being the truth?

Thanks for sharing your experiences!



A friend in need is a friend indeed? There is a much better friendship test! November 5, 2013

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 12:54 pm
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My first personal insight on a true friendship was that the friend is not the person who helps you out in a difficult situation but the one who can enjoy your joys. Indeed I have noticed that many people are happy to help out, in some or other way if anything bad happens. However not many are able to enjoy what you enjoy. 

Recently I thought of another important friendship distinction:

A true friendship passes through the “money test”, and the false one not. How many stories we all have heard/experienced when so-called best friends, being in a business situation of making and sharing money, suddenly part and fight? How many seemingly stable and good relationships have been brocken when money came into the play?

Luckily I never experienced that, in fact just the opposite: one of my best, long-term friends is at the same time my employer and the money issue makes no impact on our wonderful relationship. But I know of many opposite cases.

Somehow or rather, money has its power spell over relatioshiops. Therefore it is the best friendship test.

LOVE, axinia


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