1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Expecting to Fly (Book): exciting spiritual experiences January 26, 2012

As I mentioned earlier in my posts, I read little nowadays. I used to read a lot in my childhood and youth but then got fed up with books. I wanted my real experiences instead of someone else’s wise or stupid ideas. Today I try to pick up true jewels for I have no time for just good things.

A book “Expecting to Fly” is one of such diamonds. The rare beauty of it lays in the fascination and depth of author’s experiences. Yes, it is all about experiences on the seeking path. Ultimately it is all what really makes sense I belive.

The book “Expecting to Fly” is autobiographical, Patrick Sheridan is a classical seeker from the 60- 70-s with heavy alcohol and drug background. I found it an intriguing read to learn about his journey which came out to be quite spiritual. This was all totally unfamiliar to me. I always had  a natural dislike for all kinds of chemical substances like cigarets, alcohol and drugs  – never tried and never wanted them. I have been that kind of intellectual seeker who searched for Truth only on the mental level. Ultimately I found out that the Truth is something beyond the mind and can be experienced rather mundane even as a physical sensation…Yes, generally my seeking approach was of a totally different art than that of Patrick. That is why I was keen on reading about some different experiences which led a great seeker to – surprise, surprise! – the same Truth.

The author depicts his life beginning with childhood, stept by step unfolding his seeking nature. The excessive drinking and drug consume of his youth are quite impressive – although there are lots of people practicing it too, I find it remarkable to read that someone has done all that and is still alive and flourishing…trully amazing. The author stated that in fact it was his drug experiences (in particular LSD) which let him first experience the high state of consciousness and realize that there is something beyond the reality we think we live in. The LSD trips had such an impact on the author that the descriptions of it could almost be taken for a drug advertisement. However later on he admits that the occasional highs are leading nowhere because of lack of system behind and dramatic health and subtle system damage. At some point Patrick meets a Yogi Lady (Shri Mataji) who unveils the Mystery to him through granting the pure high drug-free experiences. The author quoits Shri Mataji saying later on that “drugs could open up realms of experience not meant for human beings, however intriguing they might appear. Once she likened it to venturing behind the scenes in a power plant where dangerous forced were at work, instead of tapping the energy at its intended point of use”.

I like the way author shares his first encounter with Shri Mataji: My first feeling was one of surprise. I had anticipated a hasted, mystical atmosphere and was confronted instead by an extraordinary Indian lady, who seemed ten times more alive than anyone I had met before. My surprise quickly grew into astonishment as I realised that everything around me seemed full of light, and I sensed tremendous spiritual power being commanded in the room. I felt as if I stumbled out of a jungle path onto a broad, royal highway, and I had the oddest sensation of having somehow walked inside tha pages of a Bible – as if a scene from a biblical epic was taking place all around me.”

After getting his Kundalini awakened Patrick, along with some emotional and physical ups and downs continues getting experiences of high consciousness, especially that of oneness or the appearing of cosmic archetypes. The descriptions of these experiences are not only exciting but also highly meditative and make a true feast for a seeker.

The quote which says it best:

I had to laugh at ponderous intrigues of religious and occult mystery that had so fascinated humanity down through the centuries. Secret knowledge and ancient riddles where the stuff of mind and matter; the truth was far more fantastic than we could have imagined, and it had been staring us in face all the time”.

The book is a must read for anyone with drug experience but not only, even an ordinary seeker can find a lot to ponder,  wonder and enjoy.

Get the book on Amazon here. or as Kindle here.




28 Responses to “Expecting to Fly (Book): exciting spiritual experiences”

  1. GS Says:

    Interesting indeed. 🙂

    What intrigues me is that while we think walking on water is a mystery, we fail to realize that mere walking in itself is a mystery.

    While we have not understood consciousness , we seek super-consciousness.

    What good are drugs and other chemical or physical means which can get one to a “high”, but brings you “down” once the effect wears off? Is truth not eternal?

    The body and mind are instruments that appear to exist, but disappear upon investigation. What good can such tools provide in the ultimate search?

    Any pleasure/bliss coming out of a specific experience has a beginning, and hence also an end. If the bliss is limited to a specific point in time, is it bliss at all? Is not God omnipresent? Should we take LSD to realize God?

    Isn’t it strange that one tries to transcend the reality, by feeding the limited physical being? its like trying to put out fire by pouring fuel 🙂

  2. GS Says:

    Yes, Sure.

    But, What I find interesting is the need in the humans for the seeking for the “high state”, with drug or not.

    Truth however is eternal, it cannot depend on special techniques 🙂

    It is our misconception that there is a “high state” which will magically take us into a different realm, which intrigues me. The magic is right in front of us. right here and right now. This world as we experience it is magic 🙂

    Any such “special” experience, either with the use of substance, or by certain practices (breath control, body control etc.) is also another experience. Like when you see a flower bloom, or the moment when the sun rises, or the moment when your child is born, or when you are thoughtless. These are great physical and mental experiences. But does not give you everlasting happiness 🙂

    Same with any such “High”, “spiritual” experience too.

    My point is, every experience is similar. each merely evokes different emotions. But all such experiences, are dependent on something, and none of them last forever. One has to keep sustaining an effort to experience such states. By practice one may be able to be in such a state. But Isn’t life supposed to provide you with the ups and downs. with the excitement? If one has to insulate oneself from these magical qualities of life by a certain practice and by being in a particular state, then why this magic?

    Isn’t it similar to going to a magic show and closing the eyes? 🙂

    • Hello GS. What you say is true. Patrick is talking about the 1960s where this understanding that you have was not there in the Hippie culture then. They were lost and looking for answers in a materialistic society of their country. The Drug scene had started to take off and Patrick in his seeking tried it and discovered later that it was the wrong. Do try and read the book GS, then it will give you the whole picture. It is available at Crosswords in India.

      • GS Says:

        Dear Deepa,

        The understanding that I have presented was available at least a few thousand years ago 🙂 time between 60 and now is but a blink of an eye in the apparent age of the Universe.

        Several cultures seek the truth in several ways. But the Truth is one.

        The Vedas and the Upanishads present you a crystal clear scientific, logical presentation of the truth in the form of Vedanta. There are formal almost mathematical and logical treatment of the subject for the purpose of clarity. Today Physicists concur with the ‘immaterial view of the material’ world :).

        A good book on that topic is Amit Goswamy’s ‘Self-Conscious Universe’. He is a Physicist and presents this idea from that view point. Not that it is new, its just put in a ‘modern’ context.

        The trouble with most of the seeking is, that one somehow thinks life is miserable as it is, and needs ‘something’ else for a ‘better’ experience. This notion of seeking a happiness ‘elsewhere’ has lead to various such ‘seeking’s. But that is fine , because that is the intent of the Illusion. The magic show confuses most of the people, they are badly in need of an answer. and they dream of a ‘better’ tomorrow.

        Time is an illusion. If Time is an illusion, is it possible for someone/somegroup to ‘not have an understanding at “some point in time”?

        The Understanding was always there. The knowledge was always there. When the Universe was created, this knowledge was also ‘simultaneously’ created. And the Holy Scriptures are the User Manual for this Universe.

        We do not read the User manual for any instrument that we buy, be it a mobile phone or a DSLR camera, Television, or a any device. Then we complain about the device. Later on it dawns on us, “may be” the user manual might contain the answer 🙂 And then a rare individual actually reads the manual, and its almost like a unique discovery 🙂 The manual was always there. and was always with the product.

    • vinayakah Says:

      excelent post, with one point still to be recognized 😉 Every moment is an experience, and it is upon us, how deep and how wide can we comprehend it. This depth and wideness experienced, can bleed with incompletness, illusion, misconception and other sicknesses, which rise from our limited mind. There is actually no technique, like in the sprouting of the seed there is no technique…it is just happening, by itself. And so in that inner process, called Sahaja Yoga today.

      There is but a state, which is very wide and very deep, and which is stable experience of the realized truth – they call it Nirvikalpa Samadhi. What if the “spiritual growth” is just same spontaneous like sprouting of the seed, and it simply dissolves all artificial limitations of our minds, to experience existence in its full potential…and might be even much more? 😉

      • GS Says:

        The real Me is attribute-less. No attribute to be experienced. The real me does not have a tongue to taste, nor a ear to hear, no organs and no attributes. One may wonder How do we then experience anything with it? Also, How do we experience the real Me?

        Experiencing the Real me is otherwise known as Samadhi.

        That is the ultimate experience. Now, the real me, without any attribute or any organs, how can it experience anything? leave alone the brilliant light equivalent to that of a 1000 suns 🙂 !

        Answer is simple.

        Having ‘no’ experience absolutely of whatever nature is ‘experiencing’ my true self.

        How to get that experience?.. easy..Every human being does it, when they have a sound deep sleep. In ‘deep sleep’, when there are no dreams. no thoughts. no sensation. no ‘experience’. one experiences the attribute-less Self. That is the reason, every single person, coming out of a very deep sleep always feels happy.

        How do you then experience the Self when awake? Mere Knowing that you *are* the attribute-less Self, and yet experiencing this world.

        One can go on and classify it into Nirvikalpa, Savikalpa, Sahaja etc…

        When one really understands this, and finds it to be so stunningly simple, direct and so clear, after years and ages of ‘seeking’, one is baffled and stunned. Just like Archimedes had the Eureka moment. Its a liberating moment…. Mukti.

        • axinia Says:

          I think I know what you mean GS.
          I had some very deep spiritula exepreinces (mostly in India!) and all of them were about just dissolving. I was totaly aware of everything around me but I felt like my body is almost dissoving in the air, vibrations are so strong and “thick”…i felt i could not move because the whole existence of the body, soul and everything else made no sense…i was really NOTHING. incredible state!

          I never expeirenced any visions and anything outside of this dissolvance but I can imagine that some people may need that. Ultimately we all come to the same Source.

          • GS Says:

            That’s beautiful Axinia. That moment you really really figure it all out, and you realize ‘You Are That’ is certainly a special moment.

        • vinayakah Says:

          Absolutely yes…now just to be aware of it – deep sleep with full consciousness. The dissolution is only a process, and the process itself is an illusion, leading us to be aware of formless, atributeless, nameless (which we always were), that is Me…which after the end of all things remains unchanged 😉

  3. Ana Oproiu Says:

    Thank you very much, Axinia, I’ll find the book! It is really fascinating!
    I am so glad to receive your posts. I can feel your heart.


  4. Dmitri Says:

    I didn’t understood a Word You’ all said! bliss? exepirance? it’s all the same, isn’t it??? you find bueaty in truth! you find Joy in Happiens///….I dont know!!!! but I wish allready to arive to that state Of everlasting Truth, Bueaty and Joy……………………………..no>???? Who is A Haigher Daity Ganesha or Shiva and Parvati??? that what intrest me a little!!!! hahahahaha……..truth is bliss conciesnes is Expirience Bliss is JOY here ever after. No? Whats Really Importent IS the Spark in the Eys of the Beholder isn’t it? no?
    אום עלייכם

  5. Axinia, I have just started to read the book. The first part does sound like a Drug Promotion Advertisement. I am still at that part and he describes the drug so well that if one does not read further it may lead one to try it out for the experience’s sake!!

  6. Hi everybody…!!!
    I dont know about book but with my experience I can say I dont need any drug to maintain happiness,bliss and piece of mind because SY meditation gave me everything and am sure it is not happen in Minuit but it has taken much more time but i feel that was worth full . such books adds in your confidence that’s all. otherwise also u have to have one to one contact and communication with mother sure u get everything ..
    regarding using drugs i am sure no body from this forum will support as we know about other’s experiences how they have ruined ….

    • GS Says:

      The Usage of drugs in itself is debatable. No right or wrong here. If some one takes a fine piece of sharp knife and cuts your abdomen, is it crime? well is it crime if this happens on a table in an operation theater?.

      People have been taking stuff in various degrees, in one form or the other. Coffee is a very mild drug.
      Some say drugs are wrong. but do you see the effects of such a statement. The drugs get smuggled. A mafia is created. Unspeakable evil take place, not because of the use of drugs, but by banning it 🙂

      Of course it can lead to physical and mental problems just like so many other things do. Too much of fried food and it can kill you ! It is up to the individual and groups to decide what they want and what they don’t.

      But the main point is, drugs, or for that matter no physical activity will lead to liberation. Liberation is understanding and experiencing the truth, which happens by a pristine, sharp mind, with the aid of a Guru 🙂

  7. radha Says:

    This book is telling about a special experience. I m not reading it yet but i already suggested to some youngster i know is into mariujana and is seeking for something higher. One important thing is that only people who have been surfing lower and gross levels of lifestyles, if they are spiritual at heart, then they SEEK FOR SOMETHING HIGHER, to launch themselves into a higher state/position from where they already are. Otherwise normal seekers, who have been leading a normal life close to the central path of evolution, they would just keep the pace because its in their own essence. They are balanced and they do not have a strong desire to…. “fly higher”.

  8. GS Says:

    Radha, I think that’s a very good point.

    However, people who are under the influence and are addicted to drugs, need rehab. what they seek is rectification. not liberation in the spiritual sense.

    That cannot be equated with people ‘seeking’ higher spiritual experiences. People who seek higher experience, always are clearly assuming that there is a Higher order of reality, which somehow will lead them to an ecstatic, blissful state. these are normal people living normal lives, wanting to ‘transcend’ the current state and move to a higher state. They somehow think we can go into a more evolved state. And even they somehow fall under the misconception that substance use can lead them there. 🙂

    The fact of the matter is, there is only Now, and Here. one cannot ‘experience’ anything other than that. One can ‘recollect’ a past event, or ‘imagine’ a future non-existent event. But one cannot ‘experience’ it. Please note the distinction.

    There is a whole cottage industry around this so called “Moksha, Mukti, Liberation, Self-realization” that is being promised through such special experiences, either through drugs, or breathing, or physical asanas etc. And what this does to the person who is seeking, is, it creates an expectation of a non-existing realm. 🙂

    Please allow me to give an example..It is like this..
    One goes to a magic show. and starts observing the magic. Then suddenly there is a advertisement flash, It says… “Do you want to experience real Magic?”…. Everyone now stops watching the magic show and starts looking at the advertisement. Then they start thinking about this new magic show and fail to experience the one in which they are ‘already’ there 🙂

    I think people who understand this, and know the truth have an obligation to society at large, and particularly to seekers, to remove this myth of some magical strange mind boggling physical phenomena that is promised. That will put an end to people going on a wild goose chase, and also help realize the fact that they are spiritual beings living in a human world 🙂

  9. Sam Says:

    Wasn’t he the same drug addict whom Shri Mataji gave realization and he transformed into a saint like a lotus in 7 days

  10. Sam Says:

    I figured out he was the same person.I was so excited that I commented before i read the post haha

  11. Sam Says:

    Is it written in the book that he was lying on the footpath unconscious when Shri Mataji arrived in a car saw him and took him to her house.She gave him clothes to wear and also gave him realization?If thats written then its got to be him.
    No sadly i am not on facebook.I don’t surf on the net everyday.

  12. Hello Axinia, recently a friend emailed me a photograph you had taken of a radiant little girl giving herself, what I call, a heart hug. My soul’s work is empowering and education women and girls to use their heart wisdom to live an empowered life. I also teach them to meditation or sometimes I must call it quiet time, very similar to how you teach. I work with young girls in organizations across the US teaching the heart hug, which is exemplified beautifully by your photo.

    I would love to be able to share your stunning picture of the girl clasping her hands over her heart center in the work I do. To me she is giving yourself a heart hug. I would be pleased to pay you to use this glorious work. I am not asking to use it free. I also would be willing to share my products that I use to empower women and girls as a gift to you or to a young girl you want to inspire. I believe in being generous.

    Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my email to respond. Please know either way…your photograph, has grabbed my heart and inspired my soul, thus why I would count it an honor and privilege to be able to share this photo with the women and girls everywhere I teach. I await to hear from you.

    You may check out my work at: http://www.aboutwisdom.com. Our girl site will be up and running in March. It is called: http://www.ImaSophieGirl. You probably know that Sophia is the Greek word for wisdom. I teach young girls that it is a “good thing” and more powerful to be a “wise little girls” than “pretty little girls.”

    In loving kindness,

    Beverley Danusis

  13. Valusha Says:

    I’d like to read it also, interesting!.. By the way, I was surprised, that it’s not the only book about Sahaja Yoga, selling by Amazon! http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_noss/275-8431968-8042403?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=sahaja&x=0&y=0 Have you read some of them?

    • axinia Says:

      Valusha, thanks for the link to Amazon. I have read 3 of the list, but I know there are even more out there, may be not on amazon. But numbers 11 and 12 on this list have nothing to do with sahaja yoga.

  14. […] I am in awe of that overwhelming feeling!.. Another stunning experience of Oneness I found in the book I reviewed recently here. […]

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