1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Why women are more sensitive to Spirituality June 26, 2012

A mere glance at various spiritual practitioners grasps the female dominance. Disregarding country and cultural background. Now more than at any other historical periodPeople wonder why women are seeking more then men, why are they outnumbering in that sphere of life?

The answer is as simple as genius: Men just have a bigger ego which does not allow them to surrender easily, for surrender is one of the core spitirual features. ” Real men” are so-called doers and while acting they are not inclined to think of themselves as of “God’s instruments”. Due to their nature, men are more on the right side, using their right sympathetic nervous system, being proactive, dominant, thinking, directing… All that blocks their emotional side, the side which brings one faster to God because of the connection through the heart.

At the same time the greatest saints, yogis are prophets of all times are mostly male. How to explain all that? The men who truly become the men of God, they managed to overcome their ego and along with their male nature, could develop their female side as well. They became compassionate, loving and forgiving. Thus, balancing and enriching both sides they in fact managed to become the perfect humans. For some ironical reason, if a woman starts using her male side (“right side”) as much as the female one, she is more likely to become an unpleasant rather that a holy personality… (more…)

 

Romantic love vs. True love and why happy marriages are rare in the West February 4, 2010

This post follows Romantic Love: A book EVERY Western man should read  and  quotes Robert A. Johnson’s bestseller “Understanding the Psychology of romantic love”  . I arranged it the way that it gives the essence of author’s investigations on the topic, but please do read the book, it’s so insightful!

Below you will find the brilliant differentiation between the so called romantic love and true love. After reading this post, be prepared for the next in which you will lean about the amazing potential of romantic love.  In the meanwhile, let’s meditate on the truthful lines below.

What is romantic love?

Romantic love is the single greatest energy system in the Western psyche. In our culture it has supplanted religion as the arena in which men and women seek meaning, transcendence, wholeness, and ecstasy…We are so accustomed to living with the beliefs and assumptions of romantic love that we think it is the only form of “love” on which marriage or love relationships can be based. We think it is the only “true love”. But there is much that we can learn from the East about this. In Eastern countries, like those of India and Japan, we find that married couples love each other with great warmth, often with a stability and devotion that puts us to shame. But their love is not “romantic love” as we know it. They don’t impose the same ideals on their relationships, nor do they impose such impossible demands and expectations on each other as we do.

Romantic love has existed throughout history in many cultures. We find it in the literature of ancient Greece, the Roman empire, ancient Persia, and feudal Japan. But our modern Western society is the only culture in history that has experienced romantic love as a mass phenomenon. We are the only society that makes romance the basis of our marriages and love relationships and the cultural ideal of “true love”.

One of the greatest paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationships as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayal; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of “being in love”.

Romance, in its purest form, seeks only one thing – passion. It is willing to sacrifice everything else – every duty, obligation, relationship, or commitment  – in order to have passion.

Difference between romantic love and true love

People become so wearied of the cycles and dead ends of romance that they begin to wonder if there is such a thing as “love”. There is. (more…)

 

FRIENDSHIP – why it is the ultimate form of any relationship August 6, 2009

image by axinia

Friendship is a word which we all use in our everyday language, and yet it could take one’s whole life only to realize its
meaning. However learned a person may be, however pious, spiritual, or experienced, if he has not learned that nature and
character of friendship he has not learned anything.
This is the first and the last thing we have to learn. We so often use this
word lightly, calling every acquaintance a friend, or professing to be somebody’s friend; but the more we realize the meaning of
it, the less we are able to claim friendship. For everything in life we are tested, examined, and tried, but to pass this examination
of friendship is the most difficult thing in the world.

What is the reason for this? Why is it so difficult to be a friend? One would think that it was the easiest thing there is! The
reason is that there is something in ourselves which is always against our being friendly. It is the the ego.

As long as this ego is standing and lives, a man cannot claim to be anybody’s friend. And when he is not somebody
else’s friend he is not even his own friend, for one learns friendship by being a friend to another. A selfish man may seem to be
a friend to himself but, it is on the surface, not in reality. He has not yet learned how to be a friend to another, so he cannot be
a friend to himself. In our pursuit of truth we want to learn a great many things: the nature of life, the secret of life, the character
of life; and to understand the meaning of friendship seems so easy and simple that we never trouble to think about it, nor about
the responsibility of being a friend.

It is a simple lesson, and it is a lesson that we have to learn; today when nations are against nations and races against races,
when communities are against communities, and one religion against another, it is now that friendship is so much needed.
Besides, friendship is the first lesson of spirituality that one can learn. One may think that friendship, a personal friendship,
means nothing; that one does not become spiritual through a personal friendship. But one does. (more…)

 

The ego is like a rose May 28, 2009

 (image by me)

The ego is like the rose and also like the thorns which surround the rose. It takes the place of the thorns when it is not
cultivated, and it becomes a rose when it is refined.

When the ego remains in the condition of a thorn, more thorns come; and more and more, till it increases its thorns to such an
extent that everyone who touches that person is dissatisfied. We all have friends to whom we should be most grateful if they
would keep away from us. We love them, we like them, but we would be very glad if they would keep away. What is it? It is
the thorns that hurt.

In what way do these thorns manifest? They manifest in the form of words, of actions, of desires, in the form of manner. Why
does one feel annoyed with certain people in life, even before they have uttered one word? Because the thorn is pricking.

Perhaps that person will say, ‘But I have not said anything, I have not done anything,’ but he does not know that he has thorns;
there are perhaps so many that even before he utters one word, before he moves, his presence pricks us. It is a natural
outcome of the ego. Either the ego develops thorns, or it develops into a rose; and when it develops into a rose, then everyone
is attracted to it because of its beautiful petals, its delicacy, its fragrance, its color, its softness, its structure. Everything about it
is attractive, appealing, and healing.

For every soul there are four stages to pass through in order to come to the culmination of the ego, which means to reach the
stage of the rose.

The first stage is that a person is rough, thoughtless and inconsiderate. He is interested in what he wants and
in what he likes; as such he is naturally blind to the needs and wants of others. (more…)

 

People with big ego undergo hard humiliation tests October 27, 2008

 image by axinia

That is another observation from my life: people with big ego undergo hard humiliation tests.

In my life I am mostly surrounded by people who have great personalities – and that means not only being intelligent, brilliant, talented, charismatic but also also having a big portion of ego. Either this ego is the driving force to develop such a personality or one grows a big ego realising what a wonderful person she/he is. That is the part of the game, I guess, and probably the hardest of all 🙂

One interesting thing I noticed is that at a certain period of their life such people get in severe ego-tests undergoing a hard humiliation of their most precious values. Mostly it is in the realm of relationships, but can be in a friendship or at work. What kind of tests?

The game goes like that: one finds himself in a desirable situation, but can not get the ultimate of it. Because something is missing. This “something” is however the crucial point here and the person suffers. Example: a charming and adorable girl is in love relationship with a man who does not want to marry her although he loves her. The marriage would mean a full acceptance and appreciation for her, but she can not get it from him. Another beauty leaves her husband for the “better man” and faces constant humiliation in her wound point. Interestingly, everyone around can clearly see the absurdity of such relationship but a person stays “blind”. (more…)

 

What happens after self-realisation? October 8, 2008

  image by axinia

After getting self-realisaitonwe start to engage in a very subtle battle between the head and the heart, or we can say the ego and the spirit. Up until the moment we gain our self-relisaiton we will have been under the complete “control” of our ego; we have made decisions based on our desires and wants, we have experienced emotional crests and troughs, we have suppressed our true selves beneath an unconscious set of accumulated baggage which has ruled our lives.

How many of us have ignored the warning signs of a relationships which was clearly not good for us, but whoch filled some other need – usually fear or loneliness? How many have accepted situations which we truly did not enjoy, want or need, simply to maintain our popularity or status with friends and family? Who hasn’t acted impetuously and stupidly and not regreted it afterwards? These are all signs of a perfectly normal lifestyle, but one that has been governed by the ego and superego in us. A life of compromise governed by our weakness. Even when we thought we were acting from the heart! (more…)

 

My second secret weapon: forgiving April 26, 2008

 photo by axinia

I wrote about my first powerful weapon several times, for example here and here. It is the power of innocence. The power of a child in a person. This power lays in the base of a human being as a “childness”, manifested through innocence, wisdom, spontaneity and living in the present. In a daily life full of competition and performance pressure I naturally use this quality to act according to my own principles and – actually – for the benevolence of everyone around. That makes my life very easy and enjoyable in every moment. But there is another trick that makes my life even more comfortable and colourful. In my way I would call it my second secret weapon – the power of forgiving.

Since the message of forgiving was given by Jesus Christ two millennia ago, not much has happened in the human awareness in that direction. Luckily recently the word “forgiving ” is getting some shape in the modern human minds. After 2000 years! Better later than never, indeed.

Amazingly, people find it extremely difficult to forgive. I remember one Christian (!) lady proudly told me ” there are things in life one CAN NOT forgive!” – interesting, isn´t it?  Let`s see how it works and why forgiving is actually a very easy thing. (more…)

 

Are you a Rider on a Galloping Horse? March 30, 2007

 Our normal condition is a bit like a rider looking at a landscape on a galloping horse through a smoke screen. 

The galloping horse is the brain which races from one feeling to the next.  

The fumes of ego in our thoughts, and those of our superego in our emotions constitute the smokescreen.  The smoke we produce is the fruit of our reactivity, which prevents us seeing clearly the landscape through which we pursue our journey.  

We react with the ego: perhaps with a sense of hurt pride or the desire to be “center stage”.  We react too, with the superego: fear of loneliness, or of not being loved, attachments, sexual attraction etc.  

 If the horse could somehow slow down and the smokescreen clear out, then the “I” could just see the landscape as it is and understand what is happening there. (more…)

 

 
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