1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Determination as a key to success – a new shade of the old rule January 10, 2011

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 10:02 am
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

image by axinia

Observing myself and others over the years I came to an interesting conclusion that the main thing that makes a difference in our lives’ achievements – both worldly and spiritual is nothing but determination.

Well, nothing much new about this statement, right? The only thing I want to contribute to the topic is that there is no need to be determined with strain and pain. Determination/perseverance  – the term has a hard image and you can picture yourself a hard work behind. Not necessary!

The term determination stays for ability to be disciplined, consistent and see things through till the end.

My experience shows that mostly it is the matter of ATTENTION, not really efforts. The attention has to be persistent, not the actual actions – they will follow naturally and without any strain. I am always amused how it works!

In my professional life: Say, as an Executive Search Consultant I am looking for a job candidate with a rare set of skills and experiences. I keep it  in my attention all the time and at some point, rather soon, I just come across such a person, often truly by chance! I may make some requests here and there, but the true gems come my way like attracted.

Same in the private life:  by keeping my attention on some task I have to accomplish, a simple or difficult one, I meet the right people who can assist, I find the right information or simply I find myself being lucky with circumstances. (more…)

 

3 common misconceptions of work March 5, 2010

ILLUSION 1:  People tend to overestimate the role of work in their lives: the identification with a profession is often so strong that the whole personality gets squashed into that limited role.

ILLUSION 2: A job is the only mean of unfolding the beauty of personality. In reality there are so many other occupations that also do it: family, friends, hobbies…

ILLUSION 3: the greatest one – a job is the way of self-realization or so-called self-fulfillement.

These are the illusions I guess we all more or less dwell in, due to the strong conditioning of the society. However the opposite is true!

Here are some points I  gained from my observations:

  • generally, most of the people have many talents/abilities, they can vary from art to technique, from language to mathematics within one and the same person.
  • it is difficult to find a job where we can fulfill many of our talents at the same time.
  • we often have to take one opportunity after another in order to be able to live all our talents in one life. And even one life may not be enough.
  • we have to realize that there may not be ONE dream job!
  • we have to realize that even getting the dream job is not reaching heaven, and finally it does not make us happy. It may contribute to our well-being, but it is not the ultimate happiness (as many people seem to believe). Neither a dream job nor a dream partner are responsible for our happiness.

And what are your observations?

P.S. In order just to add to the dream job issue: I myself have in mind several dream jobs which are totally different!  Despite the fact that I am already having the so-called dream job, I would love to do at least 3 other things later in my life:

  1. life coach/job coach (helping people to find their mission and place in life)
  2. director of my own private school (with a unique educational concept I worked out through years)
  3. florist (flower design) or interior designer

I hope I will manage to live all them in this life  :)… At the same time I know that in the end of the day there is something else that matters much more for me, something which gives me the true self-fulfillment. And for you?

LOVE,

axinia

 

The timing pressure April 8, 2009

(image by me)

Stress is the one of the most popular words in this part of the world (apparently not so in Russia or India). People claim getting stress by everything possible, not only by work but also by taking care of their families. Life becomes a constant stress.

Leading basically relaxed and happy life, even I can confess using the word “stress” too often…Why? Trying to understand WHAT exactly stresses me, such a happy person, I came to an interesting conclusion: it is ONLY the time pressure! Because no amount of work and tasks outside my work can stress me otherwise, no problems make me feel hopeless and depressed, I easily see a way out of any situation…But this horrible need of being “on time” for everything puts a huge pressure over me. Coming on time to work, meeting deadlines, meeting people on time… The thing why I don’t want to take it seriously is simply because I see that efficiency – at least in my life -mostly does not correlate with this strickt discipline. Some discipline must be there, that is for sure. But trying to be everywhere on time is just too hard.

 I wonder if you share same experiences?

The best way to see how things can work differently is to travel to some other than Western country (say, India or Russia). The relaxed attitude towards work and duties can cut down the material comfort feeling, however things are still being done, and sometimes with much more love and attention than at places where timing is one of the top values… Ideally  one should reach a good balance between being on time and avoiding stress of it,  but obviously a human being can not completely avoid the timing pressure. I heard that some advanced yogis are able to reach the evolutionary state of being “beyond” time – I guess it means one is always on time without even trying it…May be one day I will reach this blissful state too 🙂

LOVE, axinia

 

People with big ego undergo hard humiliation tests October 27, 2008

 image by axinia

That is another observation from my life: people with big ego undergo hard humiliation tests.

In my life I am mostly surrounded by people who have great personalities – and that means not only being intelligent, brilliant, talented, charismatic but also also having a big portion of ego. Either this ego is the driving force to develop such a personality or one grows a big ego realising what a wonderful person she/he is. That is the part of the game, I guess, and probably the hardest of all 🙂

One interesting thing I noticed is that at a certain period of their life such people get in severe ego-tests undergoing a hard humiliation of their most precious values. Mostly it is in the realm of relationships, but can be in a friendship or at work. What kind of tests?

The game goes like that: one finds himself in a desirable situation, but can not get the ultimate of it. Because something is missing. This “something” is however the crucial point here and the person suffers. Example: a charming and adorable girl is in love relationship with a man who does not want to marry her although he loves her. The marriage would mean a full acceptance and appreciation for her, but she can not get it from him. Another beauty leaves her husband for the “better man” and faces constant humiliation in her wound point. Interestingly, everyone around can clearly see the absurdity of such relationship but a person stays “blind”. (more…)

 

Want to be a boss? August 19, 2008

 image by axinia

How many people dream of being a boss? Nobody knows, but I guess many. Such applications as status, respect, money are pretty attractive.

I am convinced that being a boss is a challenge not for everyone and actually not at all that attractive! What I see around is that people in charge (in business or politics) are in fact much poorer off than “normal people”.

Here are some good reasons taken from personal experience and HR books:

 – a boss is an object of critics and rumors (starting from dress or hairstyle till family life and hobbies – everything is under the magnifier)

a boss is a stressful and dangerous job (whoever failed, the boss is the one who is responsible)

a boss has normally no weekends and celebrations – any time anything can happen and he/she has to be available (more…)

 

 
%d bloggers like this: