My (atypical?) motivation of becoming a mother January 1, 2013

It’s not a secret that today many young women in the West are not keen on getting children. There may be various reasons for this trend and probably we will never find out the true one. The governments of the “dying out “countries are making efforts in order to motivate their women to have children. For instance, in the UK they allow to have a Cesarian upon a wish if the reason for avoiding birth is the fear of labour pains. In Austria they motivate well-off working women by the 75% maternity leave payment in the first year. In order to increase the birthrate in Russia the government grants a “reward” of about 9.200 Dollars for the second child. Obviously these methods motivate some women, but the general trend of a childless life is ongoing and shows no end.

I thought of sharing my experience of motherhood motivation hoping to inspire some women for the fantastic primordial female role.

To be honest, I never wanted to have a child. In particular, a child “of my own”. A desire of giving birth to someone who would resemble me and be the “flesh and blood” of mine seemed totally strange to me. I was ready even to adopt some children if necessary because I believed that “own” or not “own” child makes no difference –  every one can and should be loved the same way… After my husband and I have been happily married for 5 years we decided to think of a child, but not because “it was time” or surely not because “everyone gets children at some point” . We had somewhat different reasons.

I decided to go for a child for several boldly rational reasons, such as

1. Good genes

My husband and me have good health and good psychological nature. We both come from happy families with strong pedagogical background. No alcohol, drugs or crime records 🙂 .

     2.  Life comfort

Having good jobs and living in the city of the highest quality of life in the world  we can offer a comfortable birth and life for a child.

     3. Strong value system

Having a solid value system of idealistic and humanitarian values we can offer a strong base for a happy and stable personality. A healthy mix of material and spiritual life secures a succesful and enjoyable substance of a future Earth citizen.

Having all that – why not share, why not pass on the bliss of a happy life?

However on top of my decision for a baby was something else: I wanted to raise a child as a global personality who would make this world to a better place. I wanted to welcome and lovingly host a soul of a high caliber who would actively participate in the current collective transformation of mankind.

Our daughter is 1 year and 9 months now and is a true delight. Interestingly, even now many people point out to me the unusual social skills of the baby. Already now it looks like she will grow into the personality I was desiring to give birth to. 🙂

LOVE
axinia

The queen archetype November 26, 2012

The queen archetype is one of the most popular in collective consious of mankind regardless the culture and epoche. It is not by chance that little girls all over the world dream of being princesses – it is not a  silly childish wish but a deep longing for some special powerful qualities. And have you ever thought about the sagnificance and meaning of a crown on top of the king/queen’s head?

As we know, the C.G.Jung’s concept of the archetype is derived from the repeated observation that, for instance, the myths and fairy-tales of world literature contain definite motifs which crop up everywhere. We meet these same motifs in the fantasies, dreams, deliria, and delusions of individuals living today.

The four female archetypes of the Faerie, the Wise One, the Lover, and the Queen are found in most cultures and provide insights into female patterns of leadership. As is the case with her male counterpart, the King, the Queen is the most complex and mature of the female archetypes. This is because the image of a Queen who serves as a center for the mature ordering of things includes and transcends the other archetypes of the Feminine. Indeed the most powerful embodiment of this archetype is the Great Goddess—The Great Mother. This cosmic image is the equal to that of an all powerful God, the source of complete cosmic power, but at the same time is more accessible, less menacing. Images that may point to such a Great Mother, a supernatural Queen, are among some of the earliest human depictions of a higher power.

I like the way Shri Mataji addresses that archetype in her lectures, here is what I picked up from her talks on queen qualities /Raja Lakshmi principal. You can check how far this queen archetype is present in you (I guess it works both for females and males).

Is marriage really made in heaven? March 25, 2012

Five years back, being still newly married (2 years) I wrote an article MARRIAGE: MADE IN HEAVEN. At that time I was delighted about being married and enjoyed every bit of it. Here are some abstracts from the post, but please do read the full version.

“Guess why somebody’s marriage gets people around so excited? Why a wedding ceremony is regarded as the most beautiful celebration in all the cultures, among all the nations? Even though the voices for “free love” are rising high, We can not cheat the collective consciousness, subconsciousness and unconsciousness of humanity – the institution of marriage is obviously not human, it is DIVINE…  

………………….

Second brain

The common mistake of modern times (as we are being well brain-washed) is that  it is the heart that shows you your life-partner. Very seldom it is the case. Naturally it should not be the heart, but actually your stomach! The key word s of a married life are sustenance, wellbeing, satisfaction, home – referring to our subtle centers they all belong to the 3rd one, in the middle of a body. Scientifically seen it is a place of a “second brain” as well. Meeting your life partner you should feel very comfortable in your stomach. Relaxed. Safe…  

Love

And the love? It can come later… In fact the true love always comes later! It is so easy to fall in love with many people (happens to me all the time as I love people, every single soul is such a precious treasure, diamond flower!)… People are made by and for love. For loving each other, all of us. Only when it gets romantic, it is very misleading and confusing – and the folk’s wisdom calls it “falling” in love. In the western society where people believe in love-marriage we have up to 60% divorces! – A good sign of the reliability of this concept.

……………………….

Blossoming out 

Last but not least indicator is your appearance. Our true being always shines (or darkens) through: no way to hide anything behind make up or smart clothing! Naturally after getting married to the right person you will find yourself blossoming out even physically.

Another realization from my motherhood experience March 4, 2012

My sweet daughter is almost one year old now. So far I have been fully enjoying the motherhood experience and learning a lot from that.

I have realized certain things and have posted about some here, here and here. Today, rounding up this year, happy to share one more insight.

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Watching my daughter grow, I can see clearly that despite her taking physically after her father and temperament-wise after her mother, she possesses her own already developed personality. I wonder how people who have children can really belive they come totally “new” into this world?! Nothing doing, more than ever I am convinced now that one soul is getting born again and again, reincarnation is not a mere theory.

One amazing thing about my baby is her conscious vegetarianism.

I should admit I am a convinced non-vegetarian myself. I tried to reject meat many years back but this did much harm to my health so I realized that at least for myself this would not work. And I never regret that, enjoying some chicken or even beef now and then. When I got pregnant, after the second month (normally when the soul is believed to enter the embryo’s body) I suddenly stopped eating meat and fish. I could not swallow a piece!  Well I thought, this is definitely not me 🙂 Thus the embryo grew as a pure vegetarian, being perfectly fit. When the time came for the baby to start taking other food additionally to milk, I was advised to try giving all kinds of food, also chicken and fish. And – imagine! – she rejects completely! Quite a conscious choice, I would say, because otherwise she is a good eater.

Now tell me what is the reason behind this? I cannot see any other except that this soul has come not only with a certain character, but with a set of habits and ideas as well, and probably a even a certain mission.

I am  sure my experience and realization about it is not unique. Please share yours!

thanks 🙂

LOVE, axinia

The top 10 of my strenghts January 3, 2012

It’s time for introspection. Let’s see what we have here. I suggest introspecting on strengths, not on weaknesses. Here is my list. 

1. I am forgiving. Or better to put I have no issue of forgiving because I never feel offended. This such a relaxing point for my brain: I do not hang on any person or situation.

2. I am giving and sharing.  Presents, attention, time…just love doing it!

3. I love people, this means I love to meet, to take care, to enjoy, to support, I took sincere interest in their lives.

4. I live in the present. I enjoy whatever I am doing at the moment. And I do it with dedication, keeping my full attention on the action. This brings great results. Seldom do I think of the past or future, this is not interesting for me.

5. I am self-disciplined. I am very determined as far as my tasks are concerned. At the same time I never set up any goals and never think of what I want to achieve in the future. Whatever comes my way I just follow and fulfill.

6. I manage things fast and in high quality, trying to fix every task as soon as it arrives. I know that procrastination is a tricky thing and once delayed something, it is hard to get on track with it.

When a voice gets tuned by the spirit… December 29, 2011

Enjoy the highlights of one amazing Christmas concert in Vienna last week.

Item Nr. 1 is my sister Tatiana Samylova singing Belcanto aria.

Sufism on educating an Infant April 29, 2011

A highly insightful and interesting not only for parents read from Hazrat Inayat Khan.

It is never too soon in the life of a child for it to receive education. The soul of an infant is like a photographic plate which has never been exposed before, and whatever impression falls on that photographic plate covers it; no other impressions which come afterwards have the same effect. Therefore when the parents or guardians lose the opportunity of impressing an infant in its early childhood they lose the greatest opportunity.
In educating the child the first rule that must be remembered is that one person must educate it, not everybody in the family. It is a great mistake when everyone in the family tries to train the infant or to take care of it, because that keeps an infant from forming a character. Each one has his own influence and each influence is different from the other. But most often what happens is that the parents never think of education at all in infancy. They think that is the age when the child is a doll, a toy; that everyone can handle it and play with it. They do not think that it is the most important moment in the soul’s life; that never again will that opportunity come for a soul to develop.

Should the father or the mother educate the child? A man’s life demands all his attention in his work; the mother is born with the sense of duty towards her child, and therefore the mother has the first right to educate it. The mother can also quiet the child in the first days of its life, because the child is a part of the mother, and therefore the rhythm of the mother’s spirit is akin to the rhythm of the child’s spirit. The soul that has come from above is received and is reared and taken care of by the mother; and therefore the mother is its best friend. If there is anything that the father can do, it is to help the mother or the guardian to educate the child. If the child in its infancy were given entirely into the hand of the father, there would be little hope that it would come out right; because a man is a child all his life, and the help that is needed in the life of an infant is that of the mother. Nevertheless, later in the life of a child there comes a time when the father’s influence is equally needed; but that time is not in infancy. As the Brahmin says, the first Guru is the mother, the second Guru is the father, and the third Guru is the teacher.

There are five different subjects in which an infant must be trained in the first year: discipline, balance, concentration, ethics, and relaxation.

A way out of depression February 4, 2011

image by axinia

Depression, the greatest soul plague of modern humans… I wonder is it really a modern phenomenon or it is just better documented nowadays that in earlier centuries?

What defines depression? It is the act of depressing and the condition of being depressed. Depression is characterized by lack of activity, self-worth, dejection, sad feelings, gloom and inadequacy. When the people are in depression, then their life becomes negative. People in depression often face hopelessness, passivity, indecisiveness, suicidal intentions, loss of appetite, weight loss, sleeping disorders.

Here are some statistics on depression:

• Main reasons of depression in men are separation after marriage, widowed, divorce
• In US nearly 7 million women are clinically depressed
• One in seven men will develop depression within 6 months of becoming unemployed
• Mostly 15 percent of women suffering from severe depression will commit suicide
• Nearly 10 percent of women experience postpartum depression after birth of a child
• 2003 National Comorbidity Study, sponsored by the National Institutes of Health 16% of the population that is nearly 35 million Americans suffer from severe depression
• in Austria: every 5th person is clinically depressed and under medication

I guess the statistics on other countries will be not much different. By simply observing that one can get depressed!

Although I am not an expert on this subject,  I would like to share one unique experience I had about being depressed. May be it will help someone out.

To force or not to force? January 28, 2011

 

 

 

image by axinia

 

A recent article on “Chinese upbringing methods” made a splash in the web, even on the Russian Internet. If you haven’t come across it, please check the article here, I allow myself to repost it. Please read to the end! And see my comments below.

Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

Can a regimen of no playdates, no TV and hours of music practice create happy kids? An excerpt from Amy Chua’s “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.”

 A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it’s like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I’ve done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover

• have a playdate

• be in a school play

• complain about not being in a school play

• watch TV or play computer games

• choose their own extracurricular activities

• get any grade less than an A

• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

• play any instrument other than the piano or violin

• not play the piano or violin.

I’m using the term “Chinese mother” loosely. I know some Korean, Indian, Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents who qualify too. Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise. I’m also using the term “Western parents” loosely. Western parents come in all varieties.

All the same, even when Western parents think they’re being strict, they usually don’t come close to being Chinese mothers. For example, my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments 30 minutes every day. An hour at most. For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It’s hours two and three that get tough.

Happy birthday, Vova! June 29, 2010

Today one of the most amazing people ever living  has his birthday!

And I tought of a small virtual present, a blogpost. I tought of a tribute listing some of the qualities that design his personality to the brilliant person he is.

• he has the most incredible intellect I ever met: his point of view is always so unique, that even highly intelligent people never come to the (obvious!) conclusions he comes to.
• he knows all the answeres. no kidding! He has this magic ability to give the right answer to any question, even if he does not know the subject. There is a story behind it, that he was meditating upon getting this quality and he’s got it! I must admit such a thing just thrills me since I am so keen on intellectual stuff 🙂
• he can do everything with his hands: repare, invent, find a unique engeneering solution for any construction problem
• he loves children and knows how to bring them properly up
• he writes poems and songs, and sings them with guitar
• he is incredibly romantic and carrying: he remembers every my little wish and is looking for possibilities to fulfill it. Even if I have already forgotten it myself, he would still remember what I wanted!
• his Russian language is very pure and beautiful, he expresses himself very well
• he is balanced and feels very meditative.
• he has a great sense of humour and loves telling jokes (Russian “anekdotes” ), estimated 10 per day 
• he keeps the perfect order in everything and no one can beat him in packing: sometimes I think he can pack an elephant into a suitcase 🙂
• he is a true genetelmen
• he is a person of high ideals, a global-thinker
• he is humble and never shows off
• he loves the way people seldom love nowadays…

 Well what else shall I say?