1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

My (atypical?) motivation of becoming a mother January 1, 2013

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It’s not a secret that today many young women in the West are not keen on getting children. There may be various reasons for this trend and probably we will never find out the true one. The governments of the “dying out “countries are making efforts in order to motivate their women to have children. For instance, in the UK they allow to have a Cesarian upon a wish if the reason for avoiding birth is the fear of labour pains. In Austria they motivate well-off working women by the 75% maternity leave payment in the first year. In order to increase the birthrate in Russia the government grants a “reward” of about 9.200 Dollars for the second child. Obviously these methods motivate some women, but the general trend of a childless life is ongoing and shows no end.

I thought of sharing my experience of motherhood motivation hoping to inspire some women for the fantastic primordial female role.

To be honest, I never wanted to have a child. In particular, a child “of my own”. A desire of giving birth to someone who would resemble me and be the “flesh and blood” of mine seemed totally strange to me. I was ready even to adopt some children if necessary because I believed that “own” or not “own” child makes no difference –  every one can and should be loved the same way… After my husband and I have been happily married for 5 years we decided to think of a child, but not because “it was time” or surely not because “everyone gets children at some point” . We had somewhat different reasons.

I decided to go for a child for several boldly rational reasons, such as

  1. Good genes

My husband and me have good health and good psychological nature. We both come from happy families with strong pedagogical background. No alcohol, drugs or crime records 🙂 .

     2.  Life comfort

Having good jobs and living in the city of the highest quality of life in the world  we can offer a comfortable birth and life for a child.

     3. Strong value system

Having a solid value system of idealistic and humanitarian values we can offer a strong base for a happy and stable personality. A healthy mix of material and spiritual life secures a succesful and enjoyable substance of a future Earth citizen.

Having all that – why not share, why not pass on the bliss of a happy life?

However on top of my decision for a baby was something else: I wanted to raise a child as a global personality who would make this world to a better place. I wanted to welcome and lovingly host a soul of a high caliber who would actively participate in the current collective transformation of mankind.

Our daughter is 1 year and 9 months now and is a true delight. Interestingly, even now many people point out to me the unusual social skills of the baby. Already now it looks like she will grow into the personality I was desiring to give birth to. 🙂

LOVE
axinia

 

Working with my fellow countrymen? – no, thank you! November 15, 2012

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I wonder how many people will confess it? I bet many.

One of the greatest advantages in living outside your country is the chance to introspect yourself on your conditionings or ideas imposed on you by your culture. It can range from fascinating to devastating! When I lived in Russia people used to tell  me I would rather move to the West because I looked and behaved not as a “typical” Russian. When I finally immigrated to Europe I was shocked to learn how VERY RUSSIAN I was :).

Another awareness-win is realisation of your attitude to your fellow countrymen. Of course you should not that normally a certain – more adventurous and probably stronger – people venture to leave their motherland. Thus the fellow countrymen you meet abroad are not exactly the same as the most left at home. But the main national patterns stay, of course.

In the subject of Intercultural Communication we learn that any immigration goes through 4 phases (honeymoon, ghetto, new motherland and bi-culturalism), and at some point many may even dislike their fellow countrymen and try to avoid (3rd phase). This is a highly useful piece of information and I would recommend every immigrant to learn a bit more about it.

But this is not our topic here.

What I noticed in my 15 years of living outside of my motherland is that people of some nations are not willing to collaborate/work  on project/hire/get hired/etc. with people of their origin mostly FOR THE REASON OF THEIR WORKING STYLE!

I have no theoretical explanation of the phenomenon, but my humble observation (from the perspective of living in Austria) shows that:

 –ex-Jugoslavians never want to work with each other, although they mostly have to

-Rumanians avoid working with each other abroad

Jew tend to hire other nationalities but not their own

Germans love to work with Germans

Indians would prefer not to work for Indians

-Russians always prefer to work with Russians

Please mind that these are generalizations and of course there are exceptions.

My personal working experience in the Human Resources field proves that when living abroad Russians prefer Russians to work with mostly because of their amazing dedication and high sense of responsibility (I bet you did not expect that from Russians :)). This does not work for Ukrainians though – Russians abroad avoid hiring Ukrainians for the opposite reason -less dedication.

Another highly puzzling case are Jew: When in Russia they always stick together and try to get as many as possible to one work place. When abroad they try to avoid working at same places, and especially those Jew who have their own businesses always hire some other foreigners but not their countrymen.

I am sure many of my readers have their own observations of this topic, therefore observations and  – moreover! explanations are heartily welcome!

P.S. please note that the title of the post “Working with my fellow countrymen? – no, thank you!” by no means reflects my personal case 😉 I love working with Russians!

Cheers,

axinia

 

East and West September 10, 2008

 

In the West, Intellect is the source of life.

In the East, Love is the basis of life.

Through Love, Intellect grows acquainted with Reality,

And Intellect gives stability to the work of Love,

Arise and lay the foundations of a new world,

By wedding Intellect to Love.

Allama Iqbal (1877-1938)

 

 

 

 
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