1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

What’s your strongest quality? September 26, 2013

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 11:31 am
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Can we describe ourselves in one word? Normally it’s not easy. We think we possess many various qualities. However often people while giving  a reference on us, use only one or two words . It means there is one powerful personality trait which we should know about ourselves. It may not be what others think of us, but ideally it should correlate with the general opinion.

When I introspect on my strongest quality, several things come to my mind. And if I have to decide on only one, this is what comes up:

I do not have double standards an I am always the same – in every situation, with each and every person I behave the same way. I have same love and respect both for nice, positive people and for the negative ones, I treat a beggar and an oligarch with the same attitude, despite any set up. Is this sincerity? Or unconditional acceptance? I don’t know how to name this quality but this is what I believe is my strongest personality trait. Hopefully this is also what others see as my strongest trait as well.

And yours? Looking forward to read about your stongest qualties!

Thanks and loads of love,



Who is brain-washing whom? December 23, 2012


I recently met a highly influential person from one developed country‘s national TV. The person was the main producer of this channel, the one who decided and even created programmes watched by millions.

I decided to pick up the chance and asked the man what he actually thought about brainwashing the poor TV watchers. And I got an answer the most unexpected: Not that the producer was confused to admit that, no! He looked at me and ask what I think of people who watch all the stuff?

 He confessed that this is all about money and very little about any politics or brainwashing. He told me: “Look, TV is money. We have to create programmes that people like and watch. We cannot make people watch anything we like. The choice is always on the other side of the screen. If the rating of a programme falls, we quit it, as simple as that.”

I think this was an answer to many modern problems: we make choices that make us suffer, that let us consume stupid stuff. We are so much more powerful by making the right choices! – but how often do we realize that? The idea is not new, but it was refreshing to hear it from someone I believed to be one of the main “brain-washers”.

At the end of the conversation with this producer I dropped a note that I was not watching any TV since 8 years… There was no way he could impress me by his work.



The secret of my self-confidence May 17, 2012

I was often told that one of the most fascinating things about me is the refreshing self-confidence. Some readers consider this blog interesting mostly because of that – the way I share my experiences, the self-confident straightforwardness which does not make others feel guilty is what apparently makes my blog attractive.

Some people ask me about the secret behind this quality:  How can I be so self-confident and at the same time not going into ego , the border is very fine as we all know…It’s time to reveal the secret!

I guess there are two things that make it:

1. I know myself very well. Since I was a child I was busy with discovering who I am, what my strengths and weaknesses are, I have always been introspective and seeking. This brought me a great advantage – the AWARENESS. I am aware of what I am. I know very well what makes my personality and what is still to improve. I know well what I am bad at. Or good at. This AWARENESS is what makes me confident.

But this is not enough! There is the second part of it which is quite rare in people, at least in the West. (more…)


Does talking about trauma really help? – Surprising study results May 25, 2009

 image by me)

Holding myself a certificate in psychology I am rather sceptical to many methods and ideas of psychological treatments. May be because I have found a more efficient way to deal with problems…may be. And even though my close and distant friends often want my psychological help, I never use any “techniques” because I believe that the heart knows better what to say.

Anyway, one of the things I find somewhat wrong is the popular treatment in trauma psychology as well as in conventional wisdom  –to make the victim talk about the happening. News reports after school shootings and other such tragedies tell how specially trained trauma psychologists flood into the affected area to encourage people to talk through their feeling and fears of what has happened. But does it actually help?

I came across a very interesting study concerning responses to the terror attacks of 9/11, with results that may surprise you. Researchers at the University at Buffalo, The State University of New York, invited 2,138 people, most of whom were not directly exposed to the event, to express their thoughts and feelings on the day of the attack and for several days afterward. Over the next two years the research team did follow-up online inquiries to investigate the correspondents’ mental and physical health. They found that on average, those who chose to say little or nothing about their thoughts and feelings concerning the attack were actually better off than the people who talked about it. The measures of their well-being included physician-diagnosed ailments and levels of distress, including feeling helpless and symptoms of nervousness. (more…)


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