1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Why women are more sensitive to Spirituality June 26, 2012

A mere glance at various spiritual practitioners grasps the female dominance. Disregarding country and cultural background. Now more than at any other historical periodPeople wonder why women are seeking more then men, why are they outnumbering in that sphere of life?

The answer is as simple as genius: Men just have a bigger ego which does not allow them to surrender easily, for surrender is one of the core spitirual features. ” Real men” are so-called doers and while acting they are not inclined to think of themselves as of “God’s instruments”. Due to their nature, men are more on the right side, using their right sympathetic nervous system, being proactive, dominant, thinking, directing… All that blocks their emotional side, the side which brings one faster to God because of the connection through the heart.

At the same time the greatest saints, yogis are prophets of all times are mostly male. How to explain all that? The men who truly become the men of God, they managed to overcome their ego and along with their male nature, could develop their female side as well. They became compassionate, loving and forgiving. Thus, balancing and enriching both sides they in fact managed to become the perfect humans. For some ironical reason, if a woman starts using her male side (“right side”) as much as the female one, she is more likely to become an unpleasant rather that a holy personality… (more…)


What are we longing for? February 17, 2010

So much of our lives is spent in a longing and a search – for what, we don’t know.

So many of our ostensible “goals”, so many of the things we think we want, turn out to be the masks behind which our real desires hide; they are symbols for the actual values and qualities for which we hunger.

They are not reducible to physical or material things, not even to a physical person; they are psychological qualities; love, truth, honesty, loyalty, purpose – something we can feel is noble, precious, and worthy of our devotion. We try to reduce all this to something physical – a house, a car, a better job, or a human being – but it doesn’t work. (more…)


I heard my name being called September 18, 2009

For years, copying other people,

I tried to know myself.

From within, I couldn’t decide what to do.

Unable to see, I heard my name being called.

 Then I walked outside.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

RUMI (1207-1273)

(image by me)


A must read for everyone interested in spirituality July 5, 2009

This book is familiar to many Western seekers of Truth, for it is a bestseller of spiritual literature. I first read it with 20, just in the middle of my spiritual seeking and was stunned by its power and deepness. I could identify myself with the main character to 1000%, by now it is the most accurate description of my life journey… Recently I came across the film based on this book and was stunned again – after the long spiritual way over these years I could find myself in the main character even more intensely…

I am sure most of my readers not only know the book/film but also can identify themselves with it as much as I do. For the book is truly a brilliant of spiritual literature: Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. It is a fable in novella form about a seagull learning about life and flight, and a homily about self-perfection. First published in 1970 it soon became a bestseller.

The idea is not new, it exemplifies the four commonalities of a stoic and/or ascetic spiritual path- the themes repeat and are in sequence: The outcast-the journey- the mentor-and the return to teach others:

The book tells the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a seagull who is bored with the daily squabbles over food. Seized by a passion for flight, he pushes himself, learning everything he can about flying, until finally his unwillingness to conform results in his expulsion from his flock. An outcast, he continues to learn, becoming increasingly pleased with his abilities as he leads an idyllic life. (more…)


The Legend of the Jewel October 7, 2008


 image by axinia

Once upon a time in a long forgotten land people lived happily and in complete harmony with nature. They owned a divine jewel which connected them with their inner light: The Water of Life!

Centuries full of peace passed but eventually people started to forget about the jewel and soon after they turned to greed and lazyness.

The Gods watched this with anger because they once offered this jewel to mankind and so, they decided to take the jewel away from man and to hide it in safe place. (But where? )The deepest ocean, the highest mountain and even the moon did not seem save enough to get the jewel out of reach from the greed of man.  

Then the Gods agreed to put it in the one place where the curious humans would hardly ever look for it: (more…)


How does your path look like? September 14, 2008

 image by axinia

There are billions of paths and ways,

some are straight, some are serpent-like,

some are confusing with lots of fallen trees on the way…

There are billions of paths out there, but they all lead to the same top of the mountain.

LOVE, axinia


What is the name of heart? May 17, 2008


 image by axinia


“What is the name of heart?”-

I asked myself once

The answer I did not know

And went searching for it.


“What is the name of heart?”

I asked every man.

And no one could tell me that,

But I asked again and again. (more…)


Why people like to travel April 1, 2008


photo by axinia

Why do we travel? To see new places? To get new experiences? To meet new people? To get way from the daily routine? All that and more are the reasons for the traveller-mood, which is well known to many of us. But these are the obvious reasons. Is there any hidden one? 

Travelling is the first step of seeking the truth. Seeking the truth is the ultimate aim of that seeking for something feeling (or call it wanting something I don`t know what). When we visit foreign countries, it is – deeply seen – not the outer impressions we are looking for. It is the power, the energy, the vibrations of the place we feel. For it is what is truly behind the cladding! 

There are countries we want to visit at any rate. We feel attracted and affected by its mystery, beauty, danger or uniqueness… There are lands we never want to visit – even if they seem to be same mysterious, fascinating or beautiful. What is the reason? (more…)


A letter of Mother March 8, 2007


To my flower children 

You are angry with life

Like small children

Whose Mother is lost in Darkness

Your sulk expressing despair

At the fruitless end of your journey

You wear Ugliness to discover Beauty

You name everything false in the name of Truth

You drain out emotions to fill the cup of Love

My sweet children, my darling

How can you get peace by waging war

With yourself, with your being, with joy itself

Enough are your efforts of renunciation

The artificial mask of consolation

Now rest in the petals of the lotus flower

In the lap of your gracious Mother

I will adorn your life with beautiful blossoms

And fill your moments with joyful fragrance

I will anoint your head with Divine Love

For I cannot bear your torture anymore

Let me engulf you in the ocean of joy

So you lose your being in the Greater one

Who is smiling in your calyx of self

Secretly hidden to tease you all the while

Be aware and you will find Him

Vibrating your every fibre with blissful joy

Covering the whole Universe with light.

Mother Nirmala


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