1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Romantic Love = Greater Long term Happiness December 2, 2009

Contrary to popular opinion, it appears that romance doesn’t have to die a natural death in a long-term relationship. In a meta-analysis review of 25 studies with 6,070 individuals in short- and long-term relationships published last week, researchers set out to find out whether romantic love is associated with greater relationship satisfaction.

The findings?

The researchers found that those who reported greater romantic love were more satisfied in both the short- and long-term relationships.

“Many believe that romantic love is the same as passionate love,” said lead researcher Bianca P. Acevedo, Ph.D, then at Stony Brook University (currently at University of California, Santa Barbara).“It isn’t. Romantic love has the intensity, engagement and sexual chemistry that passionate love has, minus the obsessive component. Passionate or obsessive love includes feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. This kind of love helps drive the shorter relationships but not the longer ones.”

These findings appear in the March issue of Review of General Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association

Perhaps not surprising, those who reported greater passionate love in their relationships were more satisfied in the short term compared to the long term. Companion-like love, on the other hand, was only moderately associated with satisfaction in both short- and long-term relationships.

The researchers looked at 17 short-term relationship studies, which included 18- to 23-year-old college students who were single, dating or married, with the average relationship lasting less than four years.

They also looked at 10 long-term relationship studies comprising middle-aged couples who were typically married 10 years or more. Two of the studies included both long- and short-term relationships in which it was possible to distinguish the two samples.

What’s the secret?

“These people are often very relationship focused,” Acevedo told LiveScience. (more…)

 

Who is looking for Russian men? January 25, 2009

Since I posted “What 1000 Russian men told about their female ideal”  last summer I keep getting most of the search engine visits for the term Russian men.  Apparently my post shows up on the second Google page while searching for “Russian men”.

That puzzles me every day when I look at my blog stats: who is actually looking for Russian men? I mean Russian women are quite popular on the bride market and if you search for “Russian women” on Google you will find pages and pages of dating sites, and very few articles. But Russian men? My experience tells that it it is mostly Russian women themselves who are interested in their fellow men but they will definitely not go to Google for that.

My blog stats made me investigate of what the world thinks of Russian men. Let`s see what the frist Google page shows:

“”What about the men? Are the Russian men all sexist alcoholics? How do they feel about Russian women looking elsewhere for husbands?…”

“Russian men attempt to treat women like princesses, and at least before marriage , When Russian men are out and about the city they ooze machismo…”

“If you ask russian men, they will say that women look for foreign men just for money. The single leading cause of death in Russian men is Russian women! …”

This feature is characteristic not only for Russian men but also for women, Let’s start with the fact that Russian men sometimes are very generous. “

“How to date Russian Men. Inspired by the heroic characters of Dostoevsky or Pushkin, many women regard dating a Russian men as a unique and exotic…”

Rather a controversial picture. But I think I can agree with everything here. And there is a lot more to say…

I like this article saying that Russian men attempt to treat women like princesses, and at least before marriage, cater to their girlfriend’s wishes. “But the Russian man, alone with his friends is almost always a hooligan! When Russian men are out and about the city they ooze machismo, but take a step into their home, or their parent’s home, and they are powerless. Russian women have figured this out. In the end the woman, mother or wife, will get her way. They have this subtle form of manipulation down to an exact science. But, a Russian woman loves her husband and needs him for other things than to rule the home life.”

This instruction how to date Russian men (I wonder who is intrested in that?)  is soooo sweet and pretty true: “Russian men are educated in the spirit of chivalry and are generally very romantic. They will drop bouquets of flowers to your feet and will protect you from burglars, even if it presents a risk for their own lives or budget. The only thing they want in exchange is your enthusiasm and praise.
The ideal woman of a Russian man should be very understanding and supportive of her partner’s ideas. (swives of Russian historical personalities have dedicated their lives to them, even without being fully appreciated by them). Russian men can accept many flaws in a woman and won’t give up on her easily, even if his friends or family are against her. But there are few things that can’t be forgiven: unfaithfulness, feminism and depreciation of russian culture or language. Russian men are very proud of their historical background and will not let anybody offend their culture.”

And this report tells another (bitter) truth: (more…)

 

 
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