1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

How to find out if your Kundalini rises April 3, 2013

The energy of  Kundalini  is quite present in the modern life, today more than ever before. The signs of a 3,5 coiled energy became a popular image in marketing, for it’s a beautiful design element and it echoes in our collective consciousness. Although it is being so widely used I doubt that people really know its meaning and power.


Wikipedia gives some information about Kundalini but most of it HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SUBJECT. It looks like some people tried to awaken this sacred energy being not authorized for it, and they got very strange, if not terrifying results.  I am puzzled how practitioners of so-called Kundalini yoga describe the sensations they get calling it rising Kundalini this way:

(and belive me this is NOT what Kundalini feels like)

  • Involuntary jerks, tremors, shaking, itching, tingling, and crawling sensations, especially in the arms and legs
  • Energy rushes or feelings of electricity circulating the body
  • Intense heat (sweating) or cold, especially as energy is experienced passing through the chakras
  • Headache, migraine, or pressure inside the skull
  • Increased blood pressure and irregular heartbeat
  • Emotional numbness
  • Antisocial tendencies
  • Mood swings with periods of depression or mania
  • Pains in different areas of the body, especially back and neck
  • Sensitivity to light, sound, and touch
  • Trance-like and altered states of consciousness
  • Disrupted sleep pattern (periods of insomnia or oversleeping)
  • Loss of appetite or overeating

I mean are they all masochist?!? Why practice something which gives you such horrid discomfort and suffering? I believe a truly spiritual practice must give one the enlightenment and bliss and not horror.

Luckily there have been wonderful saints and prophets all over the world, in different religions and spiritual practices who have given the exact description of Kundalini as of a cool breeze. Even some musicians and artists have referred to this cooling sensation.

kundalinin-coil1Since my Kundalini was awakened 17 year back, and I have felt and have been “working” with this amazing energy for such a long time, I feel authorized enough to give a list of REAL KUNDALINI RISING sensations. This list can be confirmed by many millions of people who have experienced the same (unfortunately they are all too shy or to self-sufficient to post about it).


  1. If you sit with the rounded back, slowly or suddenly your back will get straight, you may even not notice that. The upright position is possible even for people with spine cord problems when their Kundalini rises.
  2. Your nose will breathe much “lighter”, even without any special exercises – this is the sign that Kundalini has passed the Hamsa chakra (between the eyebrows).
  3. You may feel the cooling energy rising upwards your spinal cord, mostly on the back, although some people can feel it within, inside the body.
  4. You will feel cool breeze in your hands, and interestingly – when the breeze gets stronger your hand will open up on their own.
  5. After meditation with well risen Kundalini you may feel the need to “wash off” your face with your hands. You eyes will glow and your face will shine with peace and beauty!
  6. Tickling and warm sensation in different parts of the body can be a sign of Kundalini rising and doing it’s clearing work. Ultimately and ideally this must end up in getting the cool breeze on top of head and in the hands
  7. The cool breeze pouring down your head or even all over the body gives the feeling of the absolute bliss and dissolution, feels like Nirvana and cannot be mistaken for anything else! This is the ultimate goal of any yoga and it is the easiest to reach by the sahaja yoga practice.
mother in light

Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi, founder of Sahaja Yoga

LOVE, axinia


How to outsource your personal growth February 25, 2013


What a nonsense, you may say. How a personal growth can be outsourced? This is something highly personal which entirely depends on our own efforts and learning abilities. And yet I would claim it can be outsourced, let me tell you why and how.

The basic driving force in the human evolution has always been learning from experiences. Either exploring environment or building up their living comforts, people has been learning by doing. Some experiences became a success, but many more have been mistakes. Especially as far as psychological issues are concerned, talking of experiences people mostly mean pain.

I guess each of us can confess that learning from a painful lesson is a long-term thing, often it takes  not one or two, but many similar cases in order to realize the mistake and change the behavior. Learning from pain is painful and this is the way we have been learning since ages.

Is there any other chance to grow? Can this long, boring and painful way be outsourced? Can we develop ourselves through any outside help and – this would be the best – effortlessly?


The cool thing is that each and everyone of us has “something” inside our being which is not our being itself,  but a kind of an external part which is ready and happy to take over and do the personal/spiritual growth job for free! This part is tremendously powerful and intelligent, and it knows exactly how to help us out, even in our daily matters.

The sages and enlightened seekers of the past all knew about it and described their experience with this power in various cultures and religions, all in the same way. In the Indian tradition in Sanskrit language it is called KUNDALINI (here you can find an excellent description of this fantastic power).

Now how does it work?

1.You get your Kundalini awakened (here – how exactly, easy and fast)

2.You let her (this is a female energy) do the job: rising upwards your spinal chord Kundalini clears out your energy centers/chakras and removes your problems. The best thing is you can almost always precept it physically!

So basically you sit down in a nice meditation for some 10-15 min mornings and evenings and while this your Kundalini works. The perfect outsource, isn’t it? You do nothing, she does it all. You get up fully refreshed, happy, fully of energy and bliss! And by practicing this for some time you will find out that not only your old problems vanish, but an actual personal growth takes place – slowly but steadily. Even within a year or two a person can change dramatically to the best! And that -again – without any painful experiences.

This is my observation done for over 17 years since my Kundalini has been awakened. Within this time I had a couple of painful experiences but as far as I can judge, I did not learn that much out of them. I learned much more from Kundalini itself – the power which she carries is truth, auspiciousness, holiness, chastity, self-respect, detachment, oneness, enlightened attention, compassion, pure love and joy. This is all what I was lucky not only to experience through the Kundalini work but gradually to imbibe and manifest in my personal growth. This would not be possible for me by a mere human “learning by doing”, at least not in one life time.



The nature of suffering November 30, 2009

Recalling some interesting episodes from Daniil Andreev, as promised.

I find his idea of SUFFERING very refreshing, compared to the classical religious idea. Andreev denies suffering being a necessary condition to evolve. He underlines the non-divine nature of suffering.

It is hard to quote Adreev outside the context of his book, so I would just re-phrase some points (my words in Italic).

All the suffering that beings experience, all their pain and agony, emit radiations….. Every feeling, every emotional response necessarily emits corresponding radiations. Radiations from anger, hate, greed, or animal and human lust sink to the realm of negative forces. True, those radiations are barely sufficient to replenish the energy of individual demonic groups. But the radiation from suffering and pain is capable of satisfying hosts of demons of almost all types and sizes. This  is essentially their food.

Among the various types of suffering-radiation, the one associated with the shedding of physical blood occupies a particularly significant place. When people and animals bleed, a burning radiation of especial intensity is released in the first few minutes. Therefore, certain categories of demons are not so much interested in the death of living beings, or in the suffering of their souls in the afterlife, as they are in bloodshed. Not one bloodbath in history has occurred or will occur without the subliminal instigation of those bloodsuckers of the afterlife. Further, the bloody sacrificial rites of some ancient cultures were horrifying not only because of their cruelty but also because it was not gods but those very same demons that were feeding on them.

This is a very metaphysical description, but I hope you get the point: (more…)


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