1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

How to turn small talk into deep talk July 8, 2013

image by axinia

image by axinia

Normally people who tend to be introvert or are seekers in their nature can’t stand small talks. All sorts of (seemingly) irrelevant information about weather, food, holidays planed or done… all that sounds so endlessly boring for those who enjoy more philosophical approach in communication.

I socialize a lot and face this kind of a problem with small talk on a daily basis. I have written up some 2 very simple and helpful ideas for those who suffer from necessity to lead small talks and really dislike it.

1. No smalltalk is a waist. If you like to get to know a person, even a silly small talk can be very useful: even by hearing someone talking about the weather you can say a lot about the person (see my post about it here). And even if you think the person is of no interest for you – this might be huge mistake because we never know who and how can play a part in our life. There is a lot of verbal and non-verbal information in a smalltalk: the body-language, the wording, the emotion (for instance dislike of the weather), etc.

2. When you will accept the uselessness of a smalltalk, suddenly you will realize that it is in your power to turn a small talk into a deep talk! The best way to open up a person is to come to the core values, to talk about happiness and love, relationships, carrier related issues. Naturally due to my profession (recruiting) I start with job matters, asking about satisfaction with the job  and then it easily comes to the general questions about happiness, dreams, ideals.

Interestingly, it works even with groups of totally new people, on parties, actually everywhere!

The main thing is to love people. If you love people they will be drenched into this love and will be happy to talk more deeply with you.

Don’t be afraid to break the rules and break through a boring small talk. You will find out how many wonderful people are around.



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