1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Expecting to Fly (Book): exciting spiritual experiences January 26, 2012

As I mentioned earlier in my posts, I read little nowadays. I used to read a lot in my childhood and youth but then got fed up with books. I wanted my real experiences instead of someone else’s wise or stupid ideas. Today I try to pick up true jewels for I have no time for just good things.

A book “Expecting to Fly” is one of such diamonds. The rare beauty of it lays in the fascination and depth of author’s experiences. Yes, it is all about experiences on the seeking path. Ultimately it is all what really makes sense I belive.

The book “Expecting to Fly” is autobiographical, Patrick Sheridan is a classical seeker from the 60- 70-s with heavy alcohol and drug background. I found it an intriguing read to learn about his journey which came out to be quite spiritual. This was all totally unfamiliar to me. I always had  a natural dislike for all kinds of chemical substances like cigarets, alcohol and drugs  – never tried and never wanted them. I have been that kind of intellectual seeker who searched for Truth only on the mental level. Ultimately I found out that the Truth is something beyond the mind and can be experienced rather mundane even as a physical sensation…Yes, generally my seeking approach was of a totally different art than that of Patrick. That is why I was keen on reading about some different experiences which led a great seeker to – surprise, surprise! – the same Truth.

The author depicts his life beginning with childhood, stept by step unfolding his seeking nature. The excessive drinking and drug consume of his youth are quite impressive – although there are lots of people practicing it too, I find it remarkable to read that someone has done all that and is still alive and flourishing…trully amazing. The author stated that in fact it was his drug experiences (in particular LSD) which let him first experience the high state of consciousness and realize that there is something beyond the reality we think we live in. The LSD trips had such an impact on the author that the descriptions of it could almost be taken for a drug advertisement. However later on he admits that the occasional highs are leading nowhere because of lack of system behind and dramatic health and subtle system damage. (more…)


Sufism on educating an Infant April 29, 2011

A highly insightful and interesting not only for parents read from Hazrat Inayat Khan.

It is never too soon in the life of a child for it to receive education. The soul of an infant is like a photographic plate which has never been exposed before, and whatever impression falls on that photographic plate covers it; no other impressions which come afterwards have the same effect. Therefore when the parents or guardians lose the opportunity of impressing an infant in its early childhood they lose the greatest opportunity.
In educating the child the first rule that must be remembered is that one person must educate it, not everybody in the family. It is a great mistake when everyone in the family tries to train the infant or to take care of it, because that keeps an infant from forming a character. Each one has his own influence and each influence is different from the other. But most often what happens is that the parents never think of education at all in infancy. They think that is the age when the child is a doll, a toy; that everyone can handle it and play with it. They do not think that it is the most important moment in the soul’s life; that never again will that opportunity come for a soul to develop.

Should the father or the mother educate the child? A man’s life demands all his attention in his work; the mother is born with the sense of duty towards her child, and therefore the mother has the first right to educate it. The mother can also quiet the child in the first days of its life, because the child is a part of the mother, and therefore the rhythm of the mother’s spirit is akin to the rhythm of the child’s spirit. The soul that has come from above is received and is reared and taken care of by the mother; and therefore the mother is its best friend. If there is anything that the father can do, it is to help the mother or the guardian to educate the child. If the child in its infancy were given entirely into the hand of the father, there would be little hope that it would come out right; because a man is a child all his life, and the help that is needed in the life of an infant is that of the mother. Nevertheless, later in the life of a child there comes a time when the father’s influence is equally needed; but that time is not in infancy. As the Brahmin says, the first Guru is the mother, the second Guru is the father, and the third Guru is the teacher.

There are five different subjects in which an infant must be trained in the first year: discipline, balance, concentration, ethics, and relaxation. (more…)


Can you be your own Guru? July 25, 2010

Today we have gurus everywhere – the imported Indian word is one of the coolest modern terms. Financial gurus, marketing gurus, management gurus… even the world of business is full of all guru types.

May supposition is that we live in a special time then people are learning faster than ever.  Everyone loves to learn from somebody. Fantastic!

The only problem is that even if we have a charismatic Guru personality giving wonderful lectures, we  cannot learn anything. We can only learn on our own. Making our own experiences. Making our own mistakes. We can be inspired by a guru, but unless and until we try something out, we will never learn.

I have a feeling that now the new time is coming when we can start realising that we can become our own Gurus. In fact, we have all the knowledge and understanding already built-in within us. We have to discover it. And become aware of it.

By now I have met only few people who are able to be their own gurus and not to just follow some genuine or false teaching. (more…)


A book of books! October 15, 2009

I’ve just finishied reading a book. A very unusual one. It is not a book in a real sence of it, but it contains…the best of all that has been known of this Earth so far!

Sounds very intriguing, isn`t it?

Here is the book:


This is a Biographical Dictionary of Realised Souls. It contains 160 entries for key figures in the History of Spirituality, together with a Glossary of Terms and a Bibliography, as well as great links to the sources.

The book contains short bios of the truly great people who deeply influenced the evolution fo human civilization, personalities whose enlightened hearts and minds sculptured the face and soul of Mankind. The true heroes, not the false ones who are presented to us as such by the mighty brainwash.

Among these 160 are those who are very well known like Christ, Leonardo Da Vinici, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Rumi, Carl Jung, Lenin, Mozart, etc.  and some are less known like Dadu Dayal, Joachim of Fiore, Hildegard of Bingen, Daniil Andreev, Patacara and many more… What brings all these personalities together into this book is that their heritage has truly good vibrations, opposite to many so called gurus and leaders, whose heritage emits heat. Having all these people in one book, creates a different perspective on the world history. It suddenly becomes clear how, through the great souls of all nations we are all genuinely connected and how they all have been speaking about same things… (more…)


The Greatest Guru September 8, 2009

The greatest guru that we have is Love… It is the guru within us which teaches us, which somehow or other leads us.
We are led into that great line of understanding, for which we don’t have to go to any college, to any school for education. It is something so much within that it works and expresses itself, expresses like a light. 
Such people we can make out because they are fully enlightened. They have light and through that light they see the whole world, which is very innocent and simple for them. 

This love, which cannot be described in words, has to be felt within… If you have this love, you enjoy. You enjoy yourself and enjoy everybody else because it is sahaj. You don’t have to make any efforts, don’t have to try anything. Just it is there and it works. (more…)


The encounter March 21, 2009

I was what they call a seeker of truth since my early teens. I was keen on intellectual knowledge and thirsty for understanding myself and the world. At 12 I loved to discuss geopolitical issues, historical findings and scientific discoveries. At 16, while my classmates were getting drunk and having sex with each other, I was in love with philosophy and psychology and a magazine ” Questions of Philosophy” was my table book along with fashion magazines (yes, my quest for beauty was also there!). At 20 I was already so full off all possible knowledge that I reached to the point of desperately wanting soemthing REAL, some knowledge that is practical, that would enable me to implement all I learned, some knowledge that would stimulate my spiritual ascent and not only my intellectual development. At that time I finally realised that my seeking was of a spiritual nature, for I was stuffed by mental knowledge to a great extend. And I realised that I need someone who will guide me on this way.

How I found to Sahaja Yoga and what happened to me I described in an earlier post here. Today I want to share with you some  thoughts on my encounter with the Sahaja Yoga’s founder, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi and that for a good reason (read in the end of this post).

I could have posted some information from Sahaja Yoga site telling who Shri Mataji is, her background and her contributions. But I will not do that. I personally can tell about the greatness of a personly only by the imact of this person on my life. I preffer the knowledge born in the depth of my heart, which is personal experience based (my long-term readers know that!).


When I met Shri Mataji at 1996 what really stroke me was her incredible humility. “She has NO EGO!!” – that was my first thought because it appeared to me totally incredible.As someone who was far away from being humble, I was very sensitive on ego-issues. That was quite an experience! Since then I never met anyone about whom I would say so. Even small children – I can clearly see their ego play.

Time passed and as I took to Sahaja Yoga which appeared to be exactly what I was searching for: simple and profound, clear and very practical in every sense of it (reasons given here). Shri Mataji’s personality and teachings had made a great impact on my personal life and spiritual developments. What I value the most in this encounter is: (more…)


No man can teach another man January 2, 2009


According to the Sufi point of view there is only one teacher, and that teacher is God Himself. No man can teach another man. All one can do for another is to give him one’s own experience in order to help him to be successful. For instance if a person happens to know a road, he can tell another man that it is the road which leads to the place he wishes to find. The work of the spiritual teacher is like the work of Cupid. The work of Cupid is to bring two souls together; and so is the work of the spiritual teacher: to bring together the soul and God. But what is taught to the one who seeks after truth? Nothing is taught. He is only shown how he should learn from God. For no man can ever teach spirituality; it is God alone who teaches it.

Hazrat Inayath Khan “The Secret of Life”


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