1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

My (atypical?) motivation of becoming a mother January 1, 2013

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It’s not a secret that today many young women in the West are not keen on getting children. There may be various reasons for this trend and probably we will never find out the true one. The governments of the “dying out “countries are making efforts in order to motivate their women to have children. For instance, in the UK they allow to have a Cesarian upon a wish if the reason for avoiding birth is the fear of labour pains. In Austria they motivate well-off working women by the 75% maternity leave payment in the first year. In order to increase the birthrate in Russia the government grants a “reward” of about 9.200 Dollars for the second child. Obviously these methods motivate some women, but the general trend of a childless life is ongoing and shows no end.

I thought of sharing my experience of motherhood motivation hoping to inspire some women for the fantastic primordial female role.

To be honest, I never wanted to have a child. In particular, a child “of my own”. A desire of giving birth to someone who would resemble me and be the “flesh and blood” of mine seemed totally strange to me. I was ready even to adopt some children if necessary because I believed that “own” or not “own” child makes no difference –  every one can and should be loved the same way… After my husband and I have been happily married for 5 years we decided to think of a child, but not because “it was time” or surely not because “everyone gets children at some point” . We had somewhat different reasons.

I decided to go for a child for several boldly rational reasons, such as

  1. Good genes

My husband and me have good health and good psychological nature. We both come from happy families with strong pedagogical background. No alcohol, drugs or crime records 🙂 .

     2.  Life comfort

Having good jobs and living in the city of the highest quality of life in the world  we can offer a comfortable birth and life for a child.

     3. Strong value system

Having a solid value system of idealistic and humanitarian values we can offer a strong base for a happy and stable personality. A healthy mix of material and spiritual life secures a succesful and enjoyable substance of a future Earth citizen.

Having all that – why not share, why not pass on the bliss of a happy life?

However on top of my decision for a baby was something else: I wanted to raise a child as a global personality who would make this world to a better place. I wanted to welcome and lovingly host a soul of a high caliber who would actively participate in the current collective transformation of mankind.

Our daughter is 1 year and 9 months now and is a true delight. Interestingly, even now many people point out to me the unusual social skills of the baby. Already now it looks like she will grow into the personality I was desiring to give birth to. 🙂

LOVE
axinia

 

Sufism on educating an Infant April 29, 2011

A highly insightful and interesting not only for parents read from Hazrat Inayat Khan.

It is never too soon in the life of a child for it to receive education. The soul of an infant is like a photographic plate which has never been exposed before, and whatever impression falls on that photographic plate covers it; no other impressions which come afterwards have the same effect. Therefore when the parents or guardians lose the opportunity of impressing an infant in its early childhood they lose the greatest opportunity.
In educating the child the first rule that must be remembered is that one person must educate it, not everybody in the family. It is a great mistake when everyone in the family tries to train the infant or to take care of it, because that keeps an infant from forming a character. Each one has his own influence and each influence is different from the other. But most often what happens is that the parents never think of education at all in infancy. They think that is the age when the child is a doll, a toy; that everyone can handle it and play with it. They do not think that it is the most important moment in the soul’s life; that never again will that opportunity come for a soul to develop.

Should the father or the mother educate the child? A man’s life demands all his attention in his work; the mother is born with the sense of duty towards her child, and therefore the mother has the first right to educate it. The mother can also quiet the child in the first days of its life, because the child is a part of the mother, and therefore the rhythm of the mother’s spirit is akin to the rhythm of the child’s spirit. The soul that has come from above is received and is reared and taken care of by the mother; and therefore the mother is its best friend. If there is anything that the father can do, it is to help the mother or the guardian to educate the child. If the child in its infancy were given entirely into the hand of the father, there would be little hope that it would come out right; because a man is a child all his life, and the help that is needed in the life of an infant is that of the mother. Nevertheless, later in the life of a child there comes a time when the father’s influence is equally needed; but that time is not in infancy. As the Brahmin says, the first Guru is the mother, the second Guru is the father, and the third Guru is the teacher.

There are five different subjects in which an infant must be trained in the first year: discipline, balance, concentration, ethics, and relaxation. (more…)

 

How I gave birth to an “Indian” child or The fascinating pregnancy experinces March 29, 2011

the baby in my belly

The state of pregnancy has been considered sacred in all cultures around the world. After having experienced it myself I can definitely call it a mystical, truly spiritual experience.

It’s commonly known that pregnant ladies may have sudden gusto for certain foods, but believe me, there is much more behind! I went through a clear transformation of my character, preferences and interests. I was watching myself carefully and detached  and made this notes for you. 
 
1.Food.
I had no sudden desires for this or that, nothing what is considered typical for a pregnant lady. Just the opposite: shortly after I became pregnant I had to become…a vegetarian! That was quite a surprise, because I did not think of vegetarianism as of a healthy diet, at least not for our climate. In fact I used to be vegetarian at 19, but this diet badly damaged my health (my hemoglobin parameters went much down) and I decided rather to eat meat in order to keep fit.
Well, it turned out that the baby did not like meat, any kind of it! No chicken, no fish. Sometimes eggs and caviar. I really tried hard but could not swallow even a piece!  That was truly the most unexpected experience, because it was so clear that I was not “alone” any more, that someone inside my body could dictate some other wishes.
 
2. Music and art
I have always been fond of Indian culture. However after getting pregnant I could ONLY listen to Indian classical music (ragas) and nothing else. Although before I loved to listen to Mozart almost every day. In my pregnancy even Mozart was too much, needless to say that other Western composers or bands sounded totally wrong for me at that time.
Another “Indian” thing was that I all of a sudden got interested in Indian temple and palace architecture: I had a book on it that I bought once in India but never read it. In my pregnancy I would open this book and admire the pictures for hours together…I aslo wanted to see historical Indian films and touch Indian materials and ornaments… That felt very special.
 
3.The baby’s name.
Since my husband and I are of a Slavic origin, we honestly were looking through all possible Slavic names in order to find one that would fit well the family name. But something felt wrong. One day we went through an Indian acient script of Lalita Sahasranama and stumbled upon a lovely melodious name “Malini” (stress on the first syllable) with a wonderful meaning “decorated with the garland of graciousness”. That felt like a perfect choice!
 
4.My character
Another manifestation of “somebody else’s presence” in my body was that my preferences in socialization changed. Being a communicative, active person by nature, I started avoiding communication, meetings and parties as much as possible. That did not look like me at all! People were wondering. Then, being a balanced, peaceful person by nature I became even more balanced and peaceful. And I felt that this was the nature of the child-to-be-born. (more…)
 

 
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