1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Why we can’t find happiness January 24, 2010

The topic of Happiness, same as of Love is one of the greatest mysteries of all times. Everybody wants it, many have it, even more are desperately searching for it…

When I ask a person: Are you happy? he or she starts reflecting like “yes, basically I have this and that.. must be happy.. but…” Something seems to be missing, at least for the Western mindset.

It’s hard for me to comment on it, for I was already born a happy person. Despite several pretty gloomy periods in my life I remember having inner peace and contentment and even bliss constantly, independent of the hard life tests. However I was not taught that. It was just there… some good luck, may be :).

Looking at people around I am wondering why can’t they be happy. If happiness is about having the material wealth, then most of the people in the West must have been the happiest in the world. But the opposite is true. Ask anyone “what do you wish for yourself?” and the most common answer will be “I want to become happy”.

That was always puzzling me… until I discovered for myself a great Master of a human psyche,  a Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson. In his book “HE”  Johnson gives probably the most accurate and brilliant explanation what happiness is and how to achieve it.

Modern western man has some basic misconceptions about the nature of happiness. The origin of the word is instructive: happiness steams from the the root verb to happen, which implies that our happiness is what happens. Simple people in less complicated parts of the world function in this manner and exhibit a happiness and tranquility that is a puzzle to us. (more…)


Extraordinary experience of ONENESS November 4, 2009

These days I am reading a truly unique book , a bit later I will post my review. However now I cannot hold myself back from posting a true gem of it, a beautiful experience of the author, Daniel Andreev – a Russian poet and religious thinker of the middle of the XX century. The book itself  is called “Roza Mira” (“The Rose of the World”, “Роза Мира”), it was written mostly in prison at Stalin’s time, and is about religion in the modern world.

The extraordinary experience I am quoting here reminds me a lot of the Enlightenment of the main character Herman Hesse in his famous novel Siddhartha. This is the unique experience of ONENESS, of feeling oneself being not only the part and parcel of the whole, but actually being this WHOLE


“In my life such an experience took place on the moonlit night of July 29, 1931, on the banks of the Nerussa, a small river in the Bryansk Forest. I usually try to be alone when in Nature, but that time it so happened that I had taken part in a camping trip with a small group.
We reached the banks of the river at the close of a hot, cloudless day. We took a leisurely dip, then gathered brush, and, building a fire two meters from the quietly flowing river under the canopy of three old willows, prepared a simple meal. The sky darkened. A low July full moon glided out from behind the oaks. Little by little the conversations and stories died down; one by one my companions fell asleep around the crackling wood. I was left awake at the fire, lazily waving a branch to ward off the mosquitoes.
When the moon, noiselessly moving behind the finely patterned, leafy branches of the willow, entered the range of my vision, those hours that come close to being the most wonderful of my entire life began. Breathing softly, having laid back on a handful of hay, I heard the Nerussa flowing not behind me, a few paces back, but as if through my own soul. That was the first unusual thing I noticed. (more…)


Earthly pleasures are the shadows of happiness September 14, 2009

Earthly pleasures are the shadows of happiness, because of their transitoriness.

True happiness is in love, which is the stream that springs from one’s soul;

and he who will allow this stream to run continually in all conditions of life, in all situations, however difficult,

will have a happiness which truly belongs to him, whose source is not without, but within. (more…)


The Greatest Guru September 8, 2009

The greatest guru that we have is Love… It is the guru within us which teaches us, which somehow or other leads us.
We are led into that great line of understanding, for which we don’t have to go to any college, to any school for education. It is something so much within that it works and expresses itself, expresses like a light. 
Such people we can make out because they are fully enlightened. They have light and through that light they see the whole world, which is very innocent and simple for them. 

This love, which cannot be described in words, has to be felt within… If you have this love, you enjoy. You enjoy yourself and enjoy everybody else because it is sahaj. You don’t have to make any efforts, don’t have to try anything. Just it is there and it works. (more…)


Birthday post August 26, 2009

I am back from my heavenly holidays with my favorite take away from this time  – the photo above – as my birthday present to all beloved readers. I have a strange habit of giving presents on the occasion of my birthday (at the same time I dislike getting presents).

I want to thank everyone for reading my blog, giving your wonderful and valuable feedback and sharing your opinion of different issues here. I have been blessed with the possibility of meeting people who read my blog in person – now and then it happens and it is such a joy-giving feeling!…

Thank you all, again and again.

LOADS of LOVE, axinia


Freedom (slideshow) July 24, 2009

Filed under: жизнь,joy,thoughts,Travel — axinia @ 3:56 pm
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I made a slideshow of my photos that I think give a feeling of freedom – for you to get thoughtless and to enjoy:




My 3 most beautiful dreams July 21, 2009

Dreams are special and very personal. Despite the private nature of this phenomenon, dreambanks where people can upload, search and analyze dreams are becoming a trend. I once posted a highly interesting dream study here. 

I like remembering my dreams. The first thing I do when I wake up, I try to recall details of my dreams, for they are mostly of predictive nature. My dreams are colourful, beautiful and adventurous. I think I had only a couple of nightmares in my whole life. Sometimes I think my dreams are the reason why I do not feel like watching films – the films just can not compete 🙂

Today I thought of sharing with you my 3 most beautiful dreams, for I hope they are enjoyable. Welcome to the world of my dreams! (more…)


The strange thing about love is that it cannot be expressed July 7, 2009

I wonder if this feeling is familiar to everyone who have been lucky to experience love (to one person or to many people at once)? – in love it feels like…it is impossible to express this vast feeling!

Whatever one may do (expressing tenderness, giving presents, saying words of love, wiring and singing songs etc.), it is only a tiny little amount of what one really feels…

Sometimes, when love overwhelms the heart and grows till the sky, it melts with the surroundings and becomes ONE with the Whole. And one feels like crying because this bliss of true love wants to be expressed  in a magnificent, all-transforming way… And yet it can never be fully expressed…Why? (more…)


My small daily wonders July 1, 2009

What is a wonder? Normally we call a “wonder” something unexpected, pleasant and “supernatural” in a way. I don’t know about everyone but I think small wonders happen daily to many people, but they not always notice them. Or may be they just do not happen that often to everyone?

Anyway I can only speak about myself: I enjoy experiencing small wonders on a daily basis.

Yesterday I had such lovely example of it! Let me share it with you.

I had to arrange for the transport of some lamps from our old office. Surprisingly the carrier company sent a woman (very though one but still a woman!) – I was a bit confused and said there was something heavy to carry to the car. She said “never mind, that is my job – I have a special trolley for that”. Fine, but the lamps had to be nicely packed and they were heavy to move. I realized it would be a hard task for the two of us… I just though “OMG, I badly need some male help, but where to take it from?”  – this seemed to be totally unreal, as there is normally nobody around at this place. In 3 min. a male head peeped in the door which we kept open and asks: “Any help needed?” . To say I was stunned is to say nothing… The situation looked totally impossible and unreal. But we have got a perfect helper who by an incredible coincidence found to our place, although his intention was a different one. And then the fact that he has offered his help – great and still unusual. Apart from that normally in Austria people never peep into the opened doors! 🙂

Life is indeed beautiful, especially when we are able to see and value this beauty daily.

Any stories from my readers? Thank you!

LOVE, axinia

 (image by me)


Prague – the city of round corners (my weekend trip photo impressions) June 29, 2009

Filed under: joy,personal,society,thoughts,Travel,world — axinia @ 8:05 pm
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 The capital of Czech Republic, Prague is said to be one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Some say it can even bet Vienna and after visiting it for the first time I can admit – Prague is awesome!

It used to be an important political and cultural center in Europe and sill it is not boasting its importance like some other beautiful cities do… Prague, like the Czech people themselves, remains a humble and yet magnificent charm, a balanced combination of the Slavic and German characters.

I would call Prague “the city of round corners” – see for yourself why:

LOVE, axinia


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