1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Another realization from my motherhood experience March 4, 2012

My sweet daughter is almost one year old now. So far I have been fully enjoying the motherhood experience and learning a lot from that.

I have realized certain things and have posted about some here, here and here. Today, rounding up this year, happy to share one more insight.


Watching my daughter grow, I can see clearly that despite her taking physically after her father and temperament-wise after her mother, she possesses her own already developed personality. I wonder how people who have children can really belive they come totally “new” into this world?! Nothing doing, more than ever I am convinced now that one soul is getting born again and again, reincarnation is not a mere theory.

One amazing thing about my baby is her conscious vegetarianism.

I should admit I am a convinced non-vegetarian myself. I tried to reject meat many years back but this did much harm to my health so I realized that at least for myself this would not work. And I never regret that, enjoying some chicken or even beef now and then. When I got pregnant, after the second month (normally when the soul is believed to enter the embryo’s body) I suddenly stopped eating meat and fish. I could not swallow a piece!  Well I thought, this is definitely not me 🙂 Thus the embryo grew as a pure vegetarian, being perfectly fit. When the time came for the baby to start taking other food additionally to milk, I was advised to try giving all kinds of food, also chicken and fish. And – imagine! – she rejects completely! Quite a conscious choice, I would say, because otherwise she is a good eater.

Now tell me what is the reason behind this? I cannot see any other except that this soul has come not only with a certain character, but with a set of habits and ideas as well, and probably a even a certain mission.

I am  sure my experience and realization about it is not unique. Please share yours!

thanks 🙂

LOVE, axinia


Freudian theory and its crime against motherhood September 30, 2008

“The idea gains ground that the doctrine and theory of psychoanalysis has been the greatest intellectual confidence trick of the 20th century”P.B.Medawar, Nobel Prize in medicine.

Everyone agrees that Sigmund Freud has had a profound impact on Western society and intellectual life. However people are mostly unaware of his theory and, moreover, of the true dimetion of this impact. In fact, the Freudian theory has takend the role of a modern religion in the 20th century.

Interestingly, a century after its invention, psychoanalysis is being challenged on scientific grounds, and criticised with regard to its clinical efficacy. All scientific research conducted with any degree of rigour has shown Freudian theory to be fraudulent. Freud was opposed to the statistical comparison of groups pf patients which is basic to credibility in modern medicine.

What is Freudian theory about?

According to Freud, children begin to enjoy sexual pleasures in early ages. The first stage of childhood sexuality is oral,  during which pleasures come from the mouth. Nursing at the mother`s breast is said to intruduce sexual pleasure. The fatuity of such statements is breathtaking!

After the oral stage, the child is described as passing through  the anal stage and, at the age of 4 years, reaching the Oesipal phase. The young boy allegedly “falls in love” with his mother, and wants to sleep with her. Her therefore views his father as a rival and an enemy who would like to castrate him.

Freud constantly denigrated the role of the mother. As the height of absurdity, he believed that a woman`s desire to have a child was a way to compensating for her lack of a penis! This claim was developed and amplified by many adherents of Freud`s theory.

The impact of the theory on the Western Society

Watson in the USA went so far as to write, in 1928, that maternal love was most dangerous, and could have irreversible consequences on children. His book Psychological Care of Infant and Child enjoyed great success, with sales of over 100.000 and greatly influenced generations on American mothers. (more…)


Friendship replaces marriage in the modern value system January 16, 2013


It is another interesting trend: Friendship as a value takes the place of marriage in the modern western world. What we see on the surface is the relationship status “girl-friend”, “boy-friend”. It is not by chance that people choose this words to explain that they are actually lovers.  In many western countries this kind of relationship has been legalized and has almost the status of marriage, even from the taxation point of view. Despite this fact people, especially males tend to see this kind of relationship as a “light” version of marriage, a less value-loaded status with less responsibilities.

On the other hand we have a significant shift in the collective consciousness regarding the value of friendship. While the girl-friend-boy-friend-relationship has less weight than a marriage, we can see the value of friendship as an intimate relationship without any sex involved rising high.In the online world, thanks for Facebook & Co it is a matter of prestige and social value to have many friends, no matter how “real” they are.

In the offline world people start loving, relying on, valuing friends more that their families. Why? First of all, for various reasons (one is given here) the generations of 20 to 50 year-old in the West suffer from problems with parents. For many a family is not the place to relax and enjoy, on the contrary  it is a place to quarrel, debate on relationship issues and even sue each other. At the same time it’s becoming a great problem for young people to create their own families – may be because they have seen so many divorces, may be of high expectaions planted in minds by the mass media… Whatever it is, the lack of peace in the family corner makes people seek peace and joy elsewhere. And many find it in friendship.

A true friendship is a perfect relationship because it does not suggest any responsibilities and obligations like a marriage does. We are free to meet up, talk, do some activities together, enjoy… We do not “have to”… and yet we are happy to help, to support, “to be there for a friend in need”, to invest time and money. But why? What moves us? (more…)


My (atypical?) motivation of becoming a mother January 1, 2013


It’s not a secret that today many young women in the West are not keen on getting children. There may be various reasons for this trend and probably we will never find out the true one. The governments of the “dying out “countries are making efforts in order to motivate their women to have children. For instance, in the UK they allow to have a Cesarian upon a wish if the reason for avoiding birth is the fear of labour pains. In Austria they motivate well-off working women by the 75% maternity leave payment in the first year. In order to increase the birthrate in Russia the government grants a “reward” of about 9.200 Dollars for the second child. Obviously these methods motivate some women, but the general trend of a childless life is ongoing and shows no end.

I thought of sharing my experience of motherhood motivation hoping to inspire some women for the fantastic primordial female role.

To be honest, I never wanted to have a child. In particular, a child “of my own”. A desire of giving birth to someone who would resemble me and be the “flesh and blood” of mine seemed totally strange to me. I was ready even to adopt some children if necessary because I believed that “own” or not “own” child makes no difference –  every one can and should be loved the same way… After my husband and I have been happily married for 5 years we decided to think of a child, but not because “it was time” or surely not because “everyone gets children at some point” . We had somewhat different reasons.

I decided to go for a child for several boldly rational reasons, such as

  1. Good genes

My husband and me have good health and good psychological nature. We both come from happy families with strong pedagogical background. No alcohol, drugs or crime records 🙂 .

     2.  Life comfort

Having good jobs and living in the city of the highest quality of life in the world  we can offer a comfortable birth and life for a child.

     3. Strong value system

Having a solid value system of idealistic and humanitarian values we can offer a strong base for a happy and stable personality. A healthy mix of material and spiritual life secures a succesful and enjoyable substance of a future Earth citizen.

Having all that – why not share, why not pass on the bliss of a happy life?

However on top of my decision for a baby was something else: I wanted to raise a child as a global personality who would make this world to a better place. I wanted to welcome and lovingly host a soul of a high caliber who would actively participate in the current collective transformation of mankind.

Our daughter is 1 year and 9 months now and is a true delight. Interestingly, even now many people point out to me the unusual social skills of the baby. Already now it looks like she will grow into the personality I was desiring to give birth to. 🙂



How to please God October 13, 2011

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 9:57 pm

image by axinia

This is my third major realization from my fresh motherhood: if we consider God’s parental nature (Creator) then it is quite natural to imagine what would please such a being. How can a child please a parent the most?

The growth of a child, any kind of it (physical, psychological, professional, spiritual, etc) is what pleases the parent the most.




How to easily understand the nature of God October 5, 2011

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 10:07 pm


This is another realization I gained out of my fresh motherhood and happy to share with you here.

If we consider God  as the Creator then we can easily see that this creative power acts like … a parent. Not a new thought may be :). However it stroke me only after I became a mother myself that actually God takes care of every tiny things in its Creation as a parent,  like a mother does it towards her children. Everything a mother or father does: watching the child, smiling at it, giving presents, makeing it laugh, feeding, bringing to bed, giving it a bath, teaching something nice and millions of other actions… all that is being done towars us by God too.

And then I thought that actually all people who became parents must have no problems whatsoever with trusting God and  enjoying life as it comes, because they can easily understand that they are indeed under the complete care of the Divine!

This simple realization was quite stunning to me. (more…)


My first insight as a mother June 7, 2011

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 10:55 pm

Motherhood is rich on realizations and insights of any kind, probably because it deals with the most sacred aspect of human life – its origin, birth and first steps.

The first thing is realized about being a mother is…the preciousness of human life. I honestly never thought of that before.

A human being is being born so helpless and tiny that it is totally dependant on the outside help more that any other living being on the Earth. Interestingly, the baby care is not only a matter of mothers intuition but of the collective knowledge as well. By taking care of my baby I started realizing what an awful lot every mother must be investing in every child, and how much a tiny infant needs for its growth. How fragile and open to any impact it is, and how important every day of this tiny life is…

Recently I have seen one very special film that highlighted for me the same topic, the preciousness of a human life as seen by a doctor and a true saint.

Giuseppe Moscati (1880-1927) was an Italian doctor, scientific researcher, and university professor noted both for his pioneering work in biochemistry and for his piety. And he was a remarkable 20th century saint.

In every medical case he saw first of all the soul and then the body, and – the most important! – he was willing to help EVERYONE, even in the most helpless cases, even mad or dying. It was claimed even before his death that Moscati was a miracle-worker; some said that he could accurately diagnose and prescribe for any patient merely by hearing a list of his symptoms, and that he was responsible for impossible cures. Reports of his good works continued well after his death, with further reports that he interceded in impossible cases. Moscati was the first modern doctor to be canonized (by the Catholic Church in 1975).

The film is a must for everyone who appreciates something deep and beautiful. I was amazed to learn that such a great personality lived in Europe not that long ago. A true saint full of unconditional love and compassion.

LOVE, axinia


Feminism: Psychological Warfare March 7, 2011

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 9:17 am

I found this highly interesting material at on one of my old friend’s blog, “Russian Women Truth”. I allow myself to quote some part of the post because it gives a totally different perspective on what we all know under “Feminist movement”.

Somebody or something with over arching control of our government and media had silently declared war against our families by targeting women with the message that marriage and motherhood were forms of enslavement to be marginalized at all costs.

But why?

Why would anyone want to encourage women to believe that spreading their legs from one sexual encounter to the next would lead to feminine “equality” and “enlightenment”?

How would denigrating Men lead to “happiness” except in the most twisted ways possible?

Feminism has been skillfully packaged to appeal to Women’s natural instincts for empathy.  And after 40 years of this non-stop packaging Feminism has sadly become a perceived “pillar” or modern society. Unfortunately at this stage of the game very little can be done to alter the perception of those that are committed to wearing the ideological chains of the very masters that enslave them.

But still..

If there’s ever going to be any hope in resisting the onslaught of feminism it must happen by awakening one individual at a time.

It is against this backdrop that the unusual story of Aaron Russo and Nick Rockefeller appears. (more…)


How S.Freud made his theory to the religion of the 20th Century October 2, 2008

This is the continuation of the post “Freudian Theory and Its Crime Against Motherhood”.

“After all, much of his theory is derived from his attempt to psychoanalyse himself and cure his own neurosis. Freud himself, so it has been said, is the only man who have been able to impress his own neurosis on the world and remould humanity in this own image”  – says H.J. Eysenck in his brilliant book “Decline and Fall of the Freudian Empire.”

In this book Eysenck’s critique is truly devastating for a modern reader to encounter, and one can only wonder why Freud’s ideas have had such an impact on the popular imagination. Eysenck’s lucidly expressed explanation is that the answer lies in the ancient human desire to get something for nothing. Freudian methods can obtain theories without having to laboriously obtain reliable facts. Non-scientific thinkers, including literary authors, new agers, pseudo-psychologists, social workers and pedagogues, whose hunger for explanations exceeds their common sense, mistake idle speculation for “insight,” and lamentably fall all too easily for humbug.

So who was this genious who managed to create a new religion of the 20th century?

Freud was far from an integrated person, and he was never the apostle of the scientific ideas which his biographers have tried to depict. The was an unbalanced neurotic, who took cocaine for much of his life. He falsified facts in order to have his theory accepted. He was dictatorial. He hated women. He admitted that his incestuous desires for his mother, from his earlier years, had led him to imagine the Oedipus complex.

It is not only that his sexual theory is breathtakingly absurd, but also his other theories like as free association and interpretation of dreams which are basic to psychotherapy were not his discoveries! More significantly, it is claimed that he was the originator of the concept of Unconscioussness  – which is far from the truth. (more…)


all 600 posts March 23, 2008

Filed under: — axinia @ 10:39 pm
¡unɟ ɹoɟ ʇsnɾ sı sıɥʇ
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These spiritual window-shoppers…
Things in life I can never understand
Things that make us thoughtlessly aware
This rose is for you!
Those who know are still
Three common misconceptions of work
To all my online FRIENDS…
Today is Forgiveness Sunday
Today is my birthday!
Top 10 posts at 1000petals
Top 20 Search Terms for my blog
Touching the originals of William Blake
Traditional Hindu families – compare to
Trend Blend 2008 and my Top 10 Trends
Two faces of India
Two films of highest asthetic beauty
UEFA Cup 2008, Austria vs. Germany
US starts the “war of ideas” on Russian
Vibrations is like a toy which is always
Vienna Christmas Markets (photo-report)
Vienna Fall Impressions
Vienna in Football fever + Russia Champi
Vienna waits in fear for UEFA euro2008 (
Visit the Sick
Visiting Germany
Want to be a boss?
Want to live longer? – find a purpose in
War and Peace
Web 2.0 as the Last Point of Trust
Western people have the lowest self este
What 1000 Russian men told about their I
What actually happens when you get into
What are we longing for?
What do you expect from God?
What do you know about Goethe’s Theory o
What do you see here?
what do you want?
What happens after self-realisation?
What happens when you start to meditate
What I miss in Avatar and many similar f
What inspires people the most to comment
What is actually happiness?
What is beauty?
What is creativity?
What is Maya?
What is on top of your value system?
What is really so special about Russian
What is really wrong with capitalism? Or
What is special about New Year celebrati
What is the difference between “falling
What is the difference between SPIRIT an
What is the name of heart?
What is the true size of your country?
What is Thoughtless Awareness?
What is true professionalism?
What is wrong with Italian language?
What is wrong with living together and n
What is your favourite season?
What it feels like to be the spirit
What Jerusalem did William Blake mean wi
What makes travelling by plane so specia
What makes us tick? Desire, thought or a
What marriage really does to people
What men really love about women
What not to tell your friends or the gos
What to do with easily offended people?
What to say of talks That lead to veilin
What was your favourite game to play as
What`s in Russian eyes?
What’s in your name? -interesting insigh
What’s wrong with smoking? – the real re
What’s your favorite quote? Why?
When a person is on top of perfection
When angels sing…
When I look at a person
When the Day came
When the nature and work of man meet: be
When the storm is over…
Where did all the crisis money go?
Where have I come from, where did you pi
Where is paradise?
Where is the problem?
Where is your attention?
Who founded Russia?
Who is looking for Russian men?
Who is Mr. Ego?
who makes a difference?
Who needs an extra dose of oxytocin?
Who wants money?
Why a marriage works or not
Why are people so much fascinated if you
Why by saying “I forgive” we can stop th
Why conditionings are more respected tha
Why do my eyes glow?
Why do people shout at each other when t
Why do we love summer time?
Why does the love go away?
Why every man should serve in the army
Why Hinduism is not becoming popular in
Why I almost never watch films
Why I do not watch TV since years
Why I love Germany
Why I LOVE Vienna
Why I see the world through the rose col
Why innocent people have less problems
Why is it cool to be cool?
Why is the rose colour so powerful?
Why it is good to celebrate birthdays
Why it will never be boring in the world
Why make so much fuss about married life
Why makes all religions same?
Why men love blue and women pink colour?
Why most of commentors on my blog come f
Why most of us just love the seaside?
Why nobody can offend me
Why only few people are good at sales?
Why people like to travel
why this blog?
Why we are not perfect yet
Why we can’t find happiness
Why women love generous men
Will crisis boost blogosphere?
With mind immersed in Love
Woman-saints in the West?
You are love.
You foollish mind
You must ask for what you really want
Your Blog Is Your Personal Coach! – or w
Your Heart: is it weak or strong?
Your Thought and Mine

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