I have always been a person of intellect, the one whose reason comes before emotions. Before starting with my spiritual practice I had a pretty neutral attitude towards human beings — I never hated anyone but at the same time I was never getting too emotionally involved with people. I used to belive in Good in people and that was good enough for me.
Later when I took to sahaja yoga and learned about the power of compassion I started wondering what it is. I learned from my Guru, Shri Mataji, that compassion is nothing but love in action, it is the manifestation of unconditional love. This sounded beautiful but not clear enough, for as usual I needed my personal experiences on top of a great theory.
Being quite happy with my personal growth and spiritual achievements, some years back I started wondering what about this compassion, whether I have it or not. I thought I did not. Because I used to be rather strict to people, very demanding – because the same strict and demanding I was to myself. I felt this cannot be near to compassion. Because first, it is unconditional. And my condition to people was that I would only help if they want to grow. I did not want to waste my energy, time and attention for those who are not interested in self-development.
Interesting enough, my personal evolution was taking place even without my effort (this is what I love so much about Sahaja meditation practice! – the growth happens spontaneously, only because Kundalini works during the meditation). It has been for 16 years since I started with this practice and so far many wonderful qualities opened up in me, even such which I did not expect I could develop.
In the last couple of years or so I noticed a strange thing about myself – I am much less demanding to people and I do support and help without thinking if I really should and whether the person deserves it or not. Even with the people whom I know as negative, still I will help if they ask, even knowing that they probably will never change and my help is for nothing. In fact what is happening is that my sensibility does not come forward, I can see some greater power within me which acts in my intreactions with others…Does it mean I became compassionate? Does it mean my compassion is stronger that my intellect?
It is stunning that someone like me, a person of reason could ever develop such a quality! As far as understand this is exactly what is meant under compassion – when the power of love, unconditional love is at work and the reason does not interfere.
I am so grateful to be able to experience such a transformation, and that – effortlessly and almost unnoticed…