In my work I often have to do with people’s self-assessments, either at the job-interviews or later at the appraisal of employees. And the thing that strikes me most is how often people believe to be something they are actually not!
I don’t mean a certain quality is not being clearly seen, I mean that often it’s just the opposite of what they think of themselves. Example: a young woman considers being reliable as one of her strengths – at the same time she is notoriously famous among colleagues for being totally unreliable and irresponsible. And that’s quite a common case, my practice shows. Even in the online world I meet people who claims to be something/to possess certain qualities but what they post looks far away from being that… Puzzling, isn’t it?
Psychology teaches us that the self-portrait differs from what others see in us but I wonder how can that differ to that extend? Normally we make conclusion about ourselves based on repeated experiences. The same works for the opinions other people make about us. It is also well-known that each of us lives in some unique “Universe” and of course sees the reality and himself/herself different. But still… People often either overestimate or underestimate themselves and this creates such a confusion! It is possible to reduce this gap in perceptions? It is possible to be what one really is for both – the inside and outside world?…
I wonder if you have also experienced this phenomenon and why do think this happens?
Thanks and LOVE, axinia