1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Our impact of other’s life can be much bigger than we think! September 26, 2010

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 12:01 am

This post is a bit too personal… but in this case my life illustrations can give a better idea of the title than any philosophical statements.

We all suspect our interactions with each other to have most probably deeper consequences than we are aware of. However life shows that the impact we make on people can be far more serious and important than we can even imagine!

In the last couple of years I have heard several stunning “confessions” about me from some people of my past. People, whom I hardly knew, acquaintances or childhood friends told me something they not only remembered well but what they consider important for their lives!

I allow myself to quote here a few, since they are depicting well what I want to say by this post.

Example 1. (a sweet and funny one 🙂 A girl who was my classmate in the frist school years, told me recently “you know, all the girls had been always watching your style in order to see what should be “in”, we secretly admired you and then copied!” – OMG, and that with 10 years of age and in a Soviet school!! It is true, even at that time I used to wear “extravagant” cloths and accessories due to my mom’s profession, but I could never ever imagine, how inspiring it could be for the schoolmates… especially because I was actually an outsider, not a popular person at all!

Example 2. Later in my early teens I had a friend who was very different from me and even wanted to persuade me to smoke 🙂 but still I  liked her and used to some time with her. Once we stopped on a bridge watiching pedestrians below. Suddenly we saw an invalid in a wheelchair, moving joyfully to the park. We were impressed by his positivity and I told her “see, in his position he is still doing well and obviously optimistic. Why shall we, healthy people, moan about anything?” –  I completely forgot about this story, but was reminded about it by this very girl last year when we finally met… She told me that these words of mine gave her the idea of the attitude to life which she has been living by since then!

Example 3. Even though I have always been positive about people and life myself, at some point in my 20-es I had a very tough life period which could have been easily demotivating for someone else. After it has started improving, I met a mature lady 20 years older than me who was in troubles because of her crazy husband. She was very desperate. I tried to help her with whatever I could, but gave up after some time because she was too negative about life and I just could not stand her constant moaning and groaning….

A month ago I was enjoying a sunny day in a park. Suddenly this very lady approached me with exclamations of joy – she recognized me after 10 years although I was wearing my half-face covering Dior sun glasses. “Axinia, you here! I was just walking around and thinking of you”… And then she reminded me of the moment when we were sitting in this very park 10 years back and I told her the following: ” I have been through a very difficult time, but I worked it out. I wish from the bottom of my heart that you life improves too and hence I hand you over my good will, it shall also bring you luck!”  – And you know what? It all came true! My life improved so much, I got married second time, got a great job and am really enjoying my life. You know, 10 years back I thought you were such a naive girl to tell me that. But then it all came true and I had to often think of your words…” I was very happy to hear her saying that and the more so, because she sounded like a normal positive person! But I could hardly remember my own words which were of such inspiration and importance for this poor lady at that time.

Example 4. The most recent one. There is a lovely young girl whom I keep meeting occasionally 2 or 3 times a year and have a small chat in the middle of a party. She is a talented artist, but her family is persuading her to study economics so that she can get a secure job later. Some weeks ago she gave me a call (for the first time!) and full of excitement old me “Axinia, I want to thank you so much for your support! All this time you have been the only person who believed in me and knew what I have to do. I made my choice now and I will follow it. You told me that I should share my talent with people and now I realized how”. I was pleasantly surprised, because I could never imagine I was the only one believing in her. But she was very sincere and happy to tell me that…


Now I hope you know what I meant by the title of this post. We can say or do something in our daily life which may have a great impact on somebody else’s life even if it is not our intention. Just imagine, how actually responsible our every deed is!

I am sure each of my beloved readers can recall similar stories… such things happen to everyone. And often we learn about this impact years or even decades later…

Amazing phenomenon, ist’ it?

LOVE, axinia


16 Responses to “Our impact of other’s life can be much bigger than we think!”

  1. radha Says:

    truly truly amazing, they are wonderful encouraging examples here! Lov ~~~~>

  2. Elke Says:

    Our lives are all about interaction, I believe. Wether we like it or not, we depend on each other, we nurture and support each other, we can also drag each other down, have a bad impact on others! The more we are aware of it, the better we can concentrate the positive effects of our lives on others.
    Scientists have researched the impact of social networks (the real life ones) on our health. I read about it in The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/19/health/research/19stream.html?ref=friendship
    Being aware of the impact of others on our lives can help us handle bad influences also. We can “immunize” ourselves for the bad effects and open ourselves for the good effects.
    good cheer to all!

  3. mahesh chendake Says:

    How responsible our every did is?
    our every did is very responsible and it can change the life of people.
    since childhood i was always supportive but two three incidences are heart touching to everybody and I,myself cursing to me always as directly or indirectly i am responsible for their damage
    1. When i was in 6 th std one of girl classmate took my maths notebook through my sister. it was very difficult to even talk with girls !!!!???( I was always first/second in my class since 1st – now entrance for MSc.). On second day our subject teacher of maths saw that and ask her what you are hiding when she started hiding that note book? and use bad words!!! actually those were casuals. we have listen many times in life from many teacher. I dont know what exactly happen in between but during lunch break she commit suicide by jumping in well !!!
    I never forget that evening and environment ,when one diver brought her body up from well and keep aside. No body has asked nothing to any body. chapter closed but i never forget.
    2. during my 7th-8th my one school mate and me went his farm . he goes up on tree. as we were playing he was on top and i was on ground,when I pull that tree he fall from height and loose his legs…. He never come school afterwords his total life changed. Still he is in my village doing farming. That time also no body has told anything to me but i never forget. i dont know how he fall actually but I find myself always guilty when i see him or talk with him ( Even he himself doesn’t have that feeling about me and always say as good friend !!!!)
    3. During my graduation one of my class mate was not ready to take lesson it was his first lesson . he demanded that I should be just present for his teaching .without me He will not do and i was in different group . it was insulting to our teacher so she told him by many ways but he can’t .Finally even going against to madam I attended his teaching and it was very satisfactory all have appreciated to him. He was just looking at me and smiling along with madam also as she was knowing facts. I Never understand what encouragement i have given to him.
    4. One of Jr friend told me last month After almost 14 15 years ( Guru pornima , I think I have written it the blog also) that because of me only he was able to do graduation…. He just followed my notes which i thrown in dustbin while coming back…. Still he consider me as Guru?!!
    5. During my teaching life my student always tells and remind to each other about my stories in fact I am much popular among student for shaping their life in right ???? chanal as well. ( As they feel i dont know )…
    One of my student takes lecture after doing post graduation over their in London on emergency accident management, he told me he just following my basics….and they were very useful to him even in post graduation??
    6. i know at least two student among all that during their life turning decision they have taken because of my influence….
    So it is very …very true that our every deed is actually responsible knowingly or unknowingly by so much experience i can tell one thing that one should be very cautious,never be casual…. specially with value teaching or just commenting on any body’s behavior.

  4. I know how disturbingly annoying I can be to people “owning” the truth.

  5. Those are interesting experiences indeed, Axinia 🙂 I’m very glad to learn that you encouraged the girl in the last incident to take up a profession she is talented in and wants to enter.

    …all the girls had been always watching your style in order to see what should be “in”…10 years of age and in a Soviet school!!

    Didn’t the commies make students wear uniforms to school 😕

    It is true, even at that time I used to wear “extravagant” cloths and accessories due to my mom’s profession

    Was your mother a fashion designer or manager at a garment factory?


    • axinia Says:

      Didn’t the commies make students wear uniforms to school

      of cause we did! But at my time it was getting less strict, and I dared not to wear the red pioneer tye, wear a wide belt instead of a “must” black apron, denied a white collar, wore various accessories and all that…this is was quite revolutionary, even at that time. I had problems with school authorities about this free style.

      At that time it was the right thing to do. But now, blieve me or not, I – just the opposite – think that a school uniform is a great thing, because what they wear at schools now is horrid. Besides, the free style makes a great pressure on the purse (childeren are forced by peers to wear branded things, which they can’t afford, etc.), that goes really too far.

      Was your mother a fashion designer or manager at a garment factory?

      no, my mother was just a modest ingenuer for sewing industry 🙂 But we always had fashion magazines at thome (Which was atypical) and she always enouraged me on the path of beautification 🙂

  6. swaps Says:

    I liked the last one… 🙂

  7. axinia, we are all impacting each other permanently in an interactive dance.I wanted to point out at the possibility to impact in a way who might not be noticed as “nice”, but might remember something in the other that waking up to a certain reality could be an option.A seed of temptation to let the deeper self emerge back.I think, you had some example too.But, the act of risking authenticity&compassion is gratification in itself, and might never meet a future “result”.

    • axinia Says:

      dear antiphonsgarden, i must admit I often have difficulties in understanding your comments, your English is obivously more advanced than mine.
      even not, I did not quite get the point, but will try to answer.
      My intention with writing down these experiences was not to show off, but to inspire peopel to recollect their expreinces in this wonderful matter. It is truly amazing, how deeply intreactive nad interdependent our lives are and unfortunately often we forget about it. So basically this was a small reminder 🙂

  8. axinia,…or my lousy dyslexic english! haha! Dont get me wrong, I am an old mocking bird, who likes to tease a bit, when too many incense sticks burns my delicate nasal passage.I don’t mind your inviting sharing story’s (I LOVE lifestories&biographys), I was adding to it my slightly self ironic ones.I tend to be fast embraced as a wonderful breeze of fresh air by many, till they realise I might be a revelator of inner winds (nope, not a fartometer, more a seismograph of vital moves!) who have to be kept down to let things goes on, unquestioned.That is why I mean, we have to be prepared of both possible impact reactions when we touch other deeply by our BEING..

    • axinia Says:

      ok, see your point now 🙂 sure, ther can be both possibel reactions! I can’t recall such stories myself, but I think mahesh gave at least 2 relevant ones in his last comment.

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