1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

When you are truly free September 13, 2010

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 1:59 pm

Once a person is free he is not bothered about anything.  Nothing can make him habituated to anything – nothing. 

Such a person lives like a king whether he is in a hut or a street or in a palace.  He’s not bothered.  Whatever it is he’s the king.

He doesn’t want anything anymore. 

He gives. He gives. He’s so rich that nobody can give him anything. 

He gives and gives and gives. 

And only thing that it can do is to give; it cannot take anything. 

The capacity is such that he cannot take anything from anyone.  No more these attitudes, how to save money, how to save your labor, how to save your chairs, your powers, your positions.

Nothing will enslave you because you are the master of everything. 

Nothing is more important than your own spirit, which you enjoy, which manifests.
Shri Mataji


31 Responses to “When you are truly free”

  1. Tomas Says:

    Nothing is more important than the Spirit indeed, and you described the freedom perfectly too. Thank you for the inspiring definitions.
    Yet a person who is not bothered about anything looks like the needless one, isn’t it ?
    While freedom attracts (motivates and inspires), the sense of personal needlessness spots the joy

  2. swaps Says:

    Axinia, why cann’t all be born in this free state? When this whole creation is a miracle, why not another that lets us be born in this free state??

    • mahesh chendake Says:

      it’s OK,can be understood but what about our responsibilities which we take willingly? when we say we as a common man who get educated,get married rare children,takes care of children and so ….on….. Those responsibilities we can’t avoid and even mother doesn’t allow ! so how much one should involve in those that is important.!!!!????
      Saint Ganeshwarji’s father Vithalpant was interested in meditation and not interested in married life. so when after marriage,he went to ” Sanyasa” and even after order of guru he came back in “Ghrahasta” still he and his family was not accepted by society of Alandi. his children were hated as children of “Sanyasi” as he was not having right to give birth to children . Dharmpeeth ordered him death sentence as punishment and it taken by both husband and wife ending themselves in river so that their children will get justice and will receive by society. After miracle of Gnyaeshwarji people of paithan accepted them before that his brother was his Guru who studied with Gorashanatha which was total study of “Kundalini” .Even Gnyashwarji fully described it as influence of his Guru. , which now society doesn’t accept as true literature and ignore!!!!
      so main and important point is when we understand it thoroughly and accept as a way of life in masses as true freedom while continuing our social and family responsibility in timely manner.

    • axinia Says:

      swaps, this is the game of life, otherwise it would have been boring. 🙂

      Imagine, if the world would be so perfect, there would be nowhere to evolve to…

  3. As long as there are filthy, demonic, uncouth countries and regimes in this world (such as the barbaric, sub-human shit pit called the evil Indian empire), one cannot even dream of being truly free.

    As the unfortunate people of Indian-occupied Kashmir have always known, if you live under the oppression and sub-human brutalisation of an incorrigibly demonic, filthy, turd world crap hole of an empire like the stinking, sewery Indian empire and hordes and hordes of its pea-brained scum people who have unleashed the vilest, most sub-human, semi-literate mercenary dogs on the Kashmiris (and many others) to mass murder, kill, gang-rape, loot, maim with full impunity given by sub-human Indian sewer laws like the AFSPA, DAA, PSA etc., no one can even dream of being truly free.

    When a person cannot even go outside his home for fear of being mercilessly butchered in cold blood by demonic mercenary dogs 😡 unleashed by the Indian shit pit of an empire, how can they even dream of being free??? When one cannot even take an ailing or wounded patient to a hospital in an ambulance because the trigger-happy mercenary scum beings unleashed by the world’s filthiest rogue empire will spray the ambulance and everyone inside it with a hail of bullets 😯 how can they even dream of being free??? When youth and children cannot even play in a neighbourhood park for fear of being trashed, beaten to a pulp and paraded naked 😯 by the sub-human semi-literate mercenary scum 👿 unleashed by the demonic Indian empire, then how can they even dream of being free???

    When such intolerably evil, demonic, sub-human oppression has been unleashed on the peacefully protesting Kashmiri freedom fighters (who are all no more than youth and children) by the world’s most filthy mercenary savages unleashed by the world’s most sub-human and demonically evil Indian empire, how can they even dream of being free? When the entire Kashmiri nation and millions of its people are treated worse than animals, let alone dignified fellow humans, by such a sub-humanly evil Indian empire, then how can they even dream of being free?

    Let alone the long-suffering Kashmiri nation and its unfortunate people. When such is the evil that is unleashed upon them by the evil Indian empire that is (over)populated by hordes and hordes of the world’s lowliest, pea-brained, voraciously arse-licking, hypocritical, evil barbaro-hominoid beings who blatantly lie, cheat and deceive anyone naive and gullible enough to listen to the savages that they are a supposedly “non-violent”, “spiritual”, “democratic” country, then how can the turd world Hindoid savages themselves dream of becoming truly free? Do the sub-human hordes of Hindoid barbarians think that they can get away with whatever crimes they unleash upon helpless people, women and children and get away with their demonic crimes against humanity just because they hypocritically boast of the utterly vilest lies? Do the sub-human hordes of Homo criminalii hindoides think they can spill and drink the blood of Kashmiris so much that the streets of Indian-occupied Kashmir begin to resemble rivers of blood, and yet think they can become “free” by taking a dip in a supposedly “holy” river which the lowly savages themselves have turned into the world’s largest open sewer?

    Let the criminal, lowlife, barbaric, uncouth, hypocritical, pea-brained Hindoid savages keep salivating on the prospects of becoming “free” by taking a dip in a sewer or performing some ritual hocus-pocus or chanting some mumbo-jumbo. The uncouth, unethical, regressive, lowly, perpetually arse-licking hordes and hordes of conscienceless, sub-human Hindoid savages are merely sowing what they are going to reap. And boy, oh boy! When the time comes, what a massive bumper harvest it is going to be for the sub-human, criminalised hordes of Hindoid beings! All their six-decades long (and counting) demonic crimes against humanity will be unleashed back on them all of a sudden, when the lowlife savages begin to understand the meaning of the eternal truth, the secret to TRUE FREEDOM and that is:

    As you sow, so shall you reap!

    Till then, the clocking is merely ticking away for the hordes and hordes criminalised, demonic, evil Hindoid sub-human savages. And ticking away faster and faster… ticking away… 😐


    • axinia Says:

      a dramatic passage 🙂

      • Alas! 😦 If only it could make a difference in saving my Kashmiri brothers and sisters from being mass butchered in cold blood by the trigger-happy semi-literate mercenary scum beings unleashed by the world’s filthiest, most demonically evil sub-human Indian shit pit of a turd world empire, then I would have gone to any extent to make it as dramatic as possible 😐

        Or even if it had any effect in making the hordes and hordes of lowlife, turdy, sub-human, perpetually arse-licking, uncouth, unethical, criminal Hindoid barbarians realising the sheer inhumanity and evil of their crimes against humankind, then it would have been well worth the effort.

        But, it’s not to be 😦 How foolish of me to assume that the hordes and hordes of demonically evil, arse-licking, conscienceless, pea-brained, uncouth Homo criminalii hindoides sub-humans are the same as decent and civilised Homo sapiens sapiens. The two are not the same and can never be the same.

        Uncouth. turdy lowlife hordes will always remain uncouth and sub-human, at the low evolutionary level of scum creatures! Till the hordes and their filthy, evil turd world septic tank of an empire get their well-deserved comeuppance to which the clock is (and has been) ticking away… 😐


  4. Freedom is not disconnection.
    Freedom might be the awareness of the interactions and of the greatest options how to impact the whole, but I hardly doubt it is about not having any natural human needs.
    True freedom is truly knowing our authentic needs and I mistrust the “superb hierarch” who pretends to not need the other for being a dangerous sociopath disconnected from his own humanity and senses assuming his own megalomanic invulnerability MYTH . Danger zone, I say!
    I just laugh inside a bit, considering many I have seen in the spiritual scene who let other careless behind “on the path” when they started to be questioned in their role and called it detached freedom, till later the complained of a misanthropist dry heart syndrome.Poor booboos! Spiritual egotrips can be garnished with superbe concepts.
    He/she might not need other as providers of status , but my experience is not of splendid isolation but of an even greater compassion full involvement.
    Beware of people too who pretends to only give, they are out of balance or good in hiding their ways of sucking.This “only giving” is a form of disrespect towards the one who is suppose to receive.If the giver has no satisfaction out of this process, how humiliating.
    Splendid Autism is not freedom but self delusion, century’s of hierarchical models of spirituality have described as highest aim in stiff society’s.
    In an interconnected world view, freedom is about the strong fragility allowing to be touched by life/other as much as impacting other.
    Quantum looping does not need a detached bounty full sky “top dog”.

    • axinia Says:

      Dear antiphonsgarden, I think I know what you mean, every point fo your comment!

      However i know also very well what is meant under the quotation…this is a very blissful state which I have been lucky enough to experience from time to time.

      This tremendous desire for giving is haunting me my whole life, I am always surprised when someone wants to give me something because it seems to unnatural for me – to get. I know it may look disrespectful, but there is nothing more delightful and fulfilling than giving…This is a state which one lives in and if you are not – you may not be able to see it this way.

    • Freedom is not disconnection.

      Bravo! Well said! :applause: 🙂

      not having any natural human needs,
      dangerous sociopath disconnected from his own humanity and senses, detached freedom,
      a misanthropist dry heart syndrome,
      splendid isolation

      They all sound to be perfectly the same thing as what an undesirable like me normally terms as bubble-dwelling 😐

      …but my experience is not of splendid isolation but of an even greater compassion full involvement.

      While the former is nothing but the worthless, dead & stone-like, pseudo-spiritual, ineffective, bubble-dwelling philosophy from the uncouth East, the latter is the true ethical spiritual philosophy from the civilised Christian West, with which one can be wholly immersed in spirituality even when surrounded by material objects. For the ordinary, compassionate civilised behaviour from the West itself is much more spiritual than the severest of bubble-dwelling antics from the uncouth East (excluding the small civilised Far East, of course).


  5. P.Sajjadi Says:

    So nice, really enjoyed that

  6. The giver receives, it is a round circle.
    I know full well what a compassion full heart is, but I am very aware of the eye level balance of and healthy give and take.
    I often have observed the self inflicted solitude of some human lost in guru games of the bounty full giver without needs.Whatever their human need was thirsted by it, from admiration attention to manic hype or manipulative self delusion,that are still needs.Maybe less evident ones at first sight, but still.
    Mostly a high wall of untouchableness is build around them, so that it appears not easy to go over, look straight into their eyes as say”I see you and I care!”.
    We have in our actual situation the need to reflect about all old alpha salvation fantasy’s, and see if a more inclusive spiritual way is possible.
    My enlightenment experiences don’t contradict in any way my humanity in bedded into our all co depending humanity .We all need each other in each instant and give to each other too.

    • axinia Says:

      I see your point very well. If this is your exeprience, you have the full right to claim your caution and attitude.

      As any quote, it should not be taken out of global context, which you may not know because you are probably not familiar with Shri Mataji’s work. Compassion and Love are the keywords of her teaching and -the most important! – practice. And this i know from my experience.

      THE ONLY TRUTH I KNOW IS MY OWN EXPERIENCE is my credo in this life and this is my slogan for every blog post here. And experience cannot be questioned, right? 🙂

    • axinia Says:

      the giver receives, but the giver should not think of it. thinking of receiveing while giving – is that honest giving? or calculation?

  7. mahesh chendake Says:

    your opinion about 10 % of income giving to churches…..!!!!??
    what about ” Jakat”?
    you just see how much people are offering during any ganesh puja eg Lalbagacha raja in mumbai, dagadusheth halwai in poona!!! , sai puja in shirdi or daily income in temple of balaji, Income in Pandharpoor?. the religious trusts and their income???? You can not even imagine their holdings!!
    And most importantly what about cause? how it is expense?……..
    to understand mother’s teaching is rather difficult to many??
    Self realization is the only answer, of course through your own experience in right way ,and right hands of love n support.
    I agree givers should not count and see to whom they are giving but I feel it should be in right hands to right person who really needed.
    I always loves your credo and slogen….. really beautiful and heart touching makes person to think initially and of course thoughtless and doughtless at the end. Another way of self realization…..!!!!!!

    • axinia Says:

      dear Mahesh, I don’t know to whom you reffer about 10 % given to church. Did I say it somewhere?1?

      • mahesh chendake Says:

        No Misunderstanding please, I wrote that statement incomplete, No, not by U. I always respect your writings, they are thoughtful and serious. sometime due to language/time problem I could not able to put in proper manner. Sorry for that.
        It is common tradition among Christians ,I heard from them only and discuss lot on that.
        For collection I don’t have any objection .those who possess more and having wish can give( I always dought that ,that giving is calculative) or in returns of wants something more) but handling of it is the problem. and secondally its sources?. Earn money by any way most probably wrong way and to clarify it, or to earn “punya”,prestige!!! give donation . more to that to convert it in white, give donation!!!! It is popular trend in givers.
        Still I have not commented on Guru’s as it is written some time somewhere in your blog. Just imagine how these people become belaniour and have property around world within few years who were zero in beginning!!!
        any way giving money is counted less in spirituality what i feel. Apart from money their are lot of things which can be given/share unconditionally like love,respect,support relations…… Your loving touch can heal the patient/friend even unknown who is needy Just one word or silent listen can save life of depressed. uncounted giving should be habit rather than any calculation .
        Once i read Holy kuran with request of dying patient while dying.The peace,satisfaction and silence on his face I still remember after so many years. I silently witnessed last breath of many!!!! taking their hands in hand. ( Not necessarily to check pulse!!!!).One visit of wife I never forget which I have refused and the patient dies after 15 min. Wife was very humbally requesting to me to visit and see her husband as she was having some indifferent feelings of husbands trouble???? really she was telling me that her husband is calling her to say something.?,which I could not understand at that moment during midnight at 12.as relatives are not allowed in ICU”s and I was quite junior and new.
        one unconscious young girl almost for 3 months recognize my touch after regaining consciousness and proudly told it was pleasant and supportive ( during private survey she strongly recommended that no males including doctors in ICU????. should work. Your touch say’s what?)
        My students,patients tells lot of stories of me which I have literally forgot, yes, uncounted giving should be habit, apart from money!!! ( No ego problem plz.)

        • mahesh chendake Says:

          When I introspect overnight on “joy of giving” I found……
          really can we give something to somebody?
          Since childhood we teach our children also …hold properly …your belonging!
          I have eye witnessed one murder as close as one meter distance!!! just for peace of land!!! on the day of festival? and not others just own brother? and reading many more in daily news paper. Where is the love?
          Why relationship breaks? calculated giving is the reason……?
          people come to hospital … to see the patient? to help? or to have just prestige? can you see any type of giving their? ,even from so called close one? All disappears like fog when question of money arise. Dead body wets hours together just to pay bills. Even charity hospitals doesn’t make bill free.
          If we don’t leave a rupee for close one, forget about property, What we can give to unknown? …. and still people putting so much in front of God,Guru? so much …. How one can relate the things?
          Even banks don’t give to poor .They always see your income potential of owner and guarantor. Even we don’t get guarantor to sanction loans.? Money goes towards money… What about poor
          If you don’t hold enough money,everything is lost. No respect,No Love,No dignity, Even you are refused to treat as human being. Your knowledge,intelligence,even generosity? not counted if you are economically poor. And those who hold enough, are they really generous? or trying to hold more? Then what one can give to anybody even apart from money. in the present world. What scenario you have in front of you?
          Why person feel alone and insecure in this over crowded world of people even having so called close one around?
          Really can we give something to somebody..even close one …even as unknown?
          From this baseline one should think of giving and it’s joy ….!!!!! of whatever you have and I am sure we have lot of, to share/to give,apart from money even to close one and …to unknown…. you meet to GOD.

  8. From my experience, I don’t use “should” concepts when it come to human behaviour.

    Having seen enough gurus in my life, I come back to my mothers Parisian straightness who use to say:” lets hope the high animals finds the toilettes if needed!”.
    I consider follower adoration as of form of lack of compassion, unable out of some “idea parent projection wishes” to help a co humans out of a narrowing pedestal self definition.
    Each Therapists with a bit of ethic, at least the more grounded one not lost in counter transference , knows how to not take this transference “personally”, to the difference of gurus who behind all the humble sound good noise, don’t step back, and say:” hey mate stop that crap , rub your eyes, its me, silly head!”. It is love work to not play that kind of game through.

    • axinia Says:

      Dear antiphonsgarden
      I guess its again the question of experience. If you had only sad exepreinces with gurus, sorry for you. My exeprience is 15 years long and still wodnerful, I really don’t see any point in seeing it differently if my life is such a bliss in any sense of it… tell me why not have it? 🙂

  9. “Sad” experiences?
    Oh no, such group delusions can be quiet pleasure full!
    A bit of infantile retrogradations into the illusion of being “those who know” lead by perfect parents is definitely a narcissistic plus, as long the it last.
    The question remains even with the “best parents” to grow up to a mature view on us&them, and that happens when we are able to see them as failable humans instead of almighty gods.
    The spiritual move we as humanity have to ripe to is not back into mummy’s womb, but to see our all and by that I MEAN all interaction as equality matterfull. Quantum physic brings in some kind of democratic interactivity who is not represented by old more or less safe hierarchical role models but demands our own spiritual maturity/adulthood.

  10. axinia Says:

    your suggestion sounds good, but what is the PRACTICAL way to acheive it?

  11. Perception and awareness like always.probably humour & self irony.
    Out of a permanent sense of compensation, I choose sometimes to frustrate and by that to be unpopular to many, to allow the view on what I consider a possible more authentic deeper reality level where love unfolds naturally to those willing to see behind the collective surface agreement .It is definitely an act of love, some might recognise or not as such, but am I dependant from the result? No as it is my hope for a better world and I am gifted with rare stubbornness when it comes to doing what appears needed to do .I am not too afraid, as I see clearly the greater picture and the true love possible in each moment&situation.I deeply trust the redemptive intelligence underneath the neurotic arrangements, old fool I am,to go for it, instead of surrendering to the “easy cynical manipulations” some consider as “the worlds game” to play .Sharing authenticity,resisting to please, till the other finds MAYBE himself back, and wakes up to our common reality is the possible potential.
    The alpha games are loser weakness, I want more for all, me included.

    • Meant compassion, not compensation, but that’s how my dyslexia or the spell checker loves to ruin a great inspiring oeuvre with a good Freudian joke.

    • axinia Says:

      this sounds deeply philosophical, but unfortunately still not clear to me what is the practical way of achieving this global evolution? Just to hope that everyone will join in one day? Surely, this is what will finally happen, but it feels like there is a work of soul/spirit that has to be done every simgle minute, whethere we force it or not.

  12. Are we not doing it right now, Axinia,?
    I don’t think it is about joining truly, as it IS in each human.
    I propose reconnection with oneself, and by that with the whole.
    The “work” seems to question what is “in the way” of our human humanity, what for and how.

  13. Valery Says:

    I will try to add …
    He is the creator
    And he has great power to create works
    And it works in harmony
    Be perfect as your Heavenly Father

  14. He? She? Them&Us?
    Let the gods care for them self would the old presocratic have said.
    Even without human made omnipotent projections,
    Lets be truly ourself as much humanly possible amongst other humans.

  15. Annemarie Says:

    yes indeed…..!
    thank you for the post!
    and nice to know you dear Axinia…..

    wish you a happy new year!!!!!!!!!

  16. veni Says:


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