1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

The importance of gentleness September 2, 2010

Filed under: thoughts — axinia @ 12:25 pm


Every impulse has its influence upon the word and upon the action. Therefore naturally every impulse exerts its full power through words and deeds unless it is checked.

There are two types of persons: those who have learnt to check their word and action when they exert their full power, and express themselves abruptly; the other kind of persons are those who mechanically allow this natural impulse to show itself in their word and deed without giving any thought to it. The former, therefore, is gentle, and the latter is man.

Gentleness is the principal thing in the art of personality; one can see how gentleness works as the principal thing in every art. In painting, in drawing, in line and color it is gentleness which appeals most to the soul. The same we see in music. A musician may be qualified enough to play rapidly and may know all the technique, but what produces beauty is his gentle touch.

It is mainly gentleness which is the basis of all refinement. But where does it come from? It comes from consideration, and it is practiced by self-control. There is a saying in Hindustani: ‘The weaker the person, the more ready to be angry.’ The reason is that he has no control over his nerves; it is often lack of control over oneself which is the cause of lack of gentleness.

No doubt one learns gentleness by consideration. One must learn to think before saying or doing. Besides one must not forget the idea of beauty. One must know that it is not enough simply to say or do, but that it is necessary to say or do everything beautifully. It is the development of the nations and races which is expressed in gentleness. Also it is the advancement of the soul’s evolution which expresses itself in gentleness. Nations and races, as well as individuals, will show backwardness in their evolution if they show lack of gentleness.

 … The delicacy of the human heart is not comprehended by everyone. Human feeling is too fine for common perception. A soul who develops his personality, what is he like? He is not like the root or the stem of the plant, nor like the branches or leaves, he is like the flower, the flower with its fragrance, color, and delicacy.

The Sufi Message of Hazrat Inayat Khan

(image by axinia)


11 Responses to “The importance of gentleness”

  1. Ronald Says:

    Great!! Thanks for that.

  2. Dmitri Says:

    i dont wont to be vain’ but i belive i developed in myself this gentelness……it’s true what he say’s that one devolpes it by considaration…and self control….BUT…i have to point out…that there is pain involved in controling ur impulses…why? maybe becouse a humen whant’s to express outside what is inside….BUT…again! in my life such opparntuties are blissful but quit rare……also when dealing with everday person i think there is no apriciation for gentleness excepet from the gentale….lets say in my work place it may transalte into weakness and you can be used……its happens to me…..i wish i would know and be aware in a more fundamantle way of the greatness of gentelnes…aldo i will continue in this path i have douths and cant say i enjoy in the glory that he sees it

    • mahesh chendake Says:

      Ya sometimes it is considered as your weakness it is true but i don’t feel for that we should leave it, as it is quality of civilized person. Those people are seeking short term gain ! no need to pay attention to such people even though they obstruct your path.or way of developing personality.
      I always tells to my student that they should be kind ,gentle at touch,considering and most importantly firm to their decision as it is needed to mold the behavior of people/patient in desirable mode.

      • mahesh chendake Says:

        Sane Guruji, A well known personality from Maharashtra,who wrote A famous book ” Mother of Sham” In Marathi ” Shamachi Aai” . He was famous for his gentleness and motherly heart very popular among student!!!!. Even though he ends his life tragically people accept his gentleness !!!!????. as way of life ( Civilized people only others not !!!! they used to tease……)

        • mahesh chendake Says:

          you must be knowing his famous story of ” caring of mother’s heart for giving to lover on demand” while caring when he falls, sound came from heart ” o my child whether you had any Injury’? In Marathi ” Bal tula kahi lagale ka” . He has written lot of moral stories to children which are applicable to all. He was really gentle person but miss understood by most.

  3. Gentleness works among the civilised peoples, it never works among the uncouth, sub-human hordes of barbarians. Since civilised peoples and savage hordes are as different as horses and hyenas*, what works for one doesn’t usually work for the other. Be gentle to a horse and it will treat you well, it may even treat you like a friend. The same is applicable to cats, dogs etc. On the contrary, try being gentle to a bunch of lowly hyenas, and you will soon understand why hyenas have earned such a nasty reputation, even among other wild beasts.


  4. axinia Says:

    In my experience genetlenss is generally appreciated and people want to have a gentle person around.

    I have seen that even in the business world, there are people who can be respected for this business talent, but if they are rude, they are not much liked. And those who are genle and have a business talent – they are highly appreciated and everyone wants to makebusiness with them. They also gain high level of trust.
    My own boss is of that kind. An amazing gentlemen, who conciders the feelings of others even more that I do 🙂

  5. nimirel Says:

    look….like gentleness, silence has its virtues, too:-)

  6. swaps Says:

    Gentle like
    .. a bee alighting on a flower
    ..new born clasping your finger
    ..love in Grandma’s eyes

    Yeah..must try and be gentle, for beauty is gentle.

  7. Rajiv kumar Says:

    very nice think. i like it

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