1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Highly insightful: why it’s so hard to become happy, what is dramatically wrong in our child-care and how to overcome it June 23, 2010

There are very few books that can deliver some truly fresh, insightful information. Most of the things have been repeated for ages. One of this rare, uniquely insightful books is “The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost” by Jean Liedloff. (1975)
 
Jean Liedloff, an American writer, spent two and a half years in the South American jungle living with Stone Age Indians. The experience demolished her Western preconceptions of how we should live and led her to a radically different view of what human nature really is.
And that is:
  • the aggressiveness is NOT in a human nature, and even children may never fight! “Not only did they not fight, they never even argued. This is not at all what we have been taught human nature is — boys will be boys. So I thought well maybe, boys won’t be boys.”
  • every human being is born as a happy, confident, stable personality. “Society is unpleasant, dangerous, unhappy, alienated, and unstable because in childhood our nature — being confident, joyous and loving — has been undermined and we simply live the way we are expected to. What we believe is what we make our experience into. And what we believe is what we have been taught to believe by our parents and our experiences.”
Jean Liedloff claims that it all our problems can be traced back to the general misconduct of child-care and upbringing. We’ve got disconnected to the natural/true method ages ago, no wonder the evolution has taken a somewhat weong track…
She discovers that the basic difference in what the indigenous people do and we don’t – is the so called “in-arms period”: from the birth till the baby starts crawling, a mother carries it 24 hours a day on her body (including sleeping in one bed). A child gets an enormous dose of security and happiness, since there is nothing more important and beautiful for it than the mother.
 
 Let’s have a look at the common practice in the modern Western childbirth and child-care. A baby experiences:
  • traumatic separation from its mother at birth due to medical intervention and placement in maternity wards, in physical isolation except for the sound of other crying newborns, with the majority of male babies further traumatized by medically unnecessary circumcision surgery;
  • at home, sleeping alone and isolated, often after “crying himself to sleep”;
  • scheduled feeding, with his natural nursing impulses often ignored or “pacified”;
  • being excluded and separated from normal adult activities, relegated for hours on end to a nursery, crib or playpen where he is inadequately stimulated by toys and other inanimate objects;
  • caregivers often ignoring, discouraging, belittling or even punishing him when he cries or otherwise signals his needs; or else responding with excessive concern and anxiety, making him the center of attention;
  • sensing (and conforming to) his caregivers’ expectations that he is incapable of self-preservation, is innately antisocial, and cannot learn correct behavior without strict controls, threats and a variety of manipulative “parenting techniques” that undermine his exquisitely evolved learning process.
 On the contrary, the natural way (for instance, the way the happy Stone Age Indinas treat their children) means for a baby:
  • constant physical contact with its mother (or another familiar caregiver as needed) from birth;
  • sleeping in its parents’ bed, in constant physical contact, until it leaves of its own volition (often about two years);
  • breastfeeding “on cue” — nursing in response to his own body’s signals;
  • being constantly carried in arms or otherwise in contact with someone, usually his mother, and allowed to observe (or nurse, or sleep) while the person carrying him goes about his or her business — until the infant begins creeping, then crawling on his own impulse, usually at six to eight months;
  • having caregivers immediately respond to baby’s signals (squirming, crying, etc.), without judgment, displeasure, or invalidation of his needs, yet showing no undue concern nor making him the constant center of attention;
  • sensing (and fulfilling) his elders’ expectations that he is innately social and cooperative and has strong self-preservation instincts, and that he is welcome and worthy.

 As a result, infants whose continuum needs are fulfilled during the early, in-arms phase grow up to have greater self-esteem and become more independent and happy individuals than those whose cries go unanswered for fear of “spoiling” them or making them too dependent.

I personally like the simple idea of the author that since we all have missed this “in-arms” phase, we are looking for this “dose of love, support and affection” conctantly. Apparently, it is also the reason for drug-addicts to fall on the drug track again and again (please check the book for interesting detalis!)

Basically, we are all looking for the Mother, since we’ve lost her (never had enough of motherly love). It is only her, who can give us full comfort and the highest happiness.

We are looking for the Mother even in our partnership  – and interestingly, the best relationships are those where partners are mutually “mothering” (cuddling, kisses, sweet talk, just taking care)… Unfortunately, since we have been ill-treated by our mothers, even the word “to mother” often has a negative meaning, even something like “getting on the nerves”. According to the book author, the true task of a mother is just to always be there, like a solid rock, and give, give, give love and affection. But not to run after the child all the time.

But this is not all… here comes the best part: as I’ve learned from the greatest spiritual personality living today, “you have to become a mother to everyone“. Now, after reading the Jean Liedloff ‘s book I know how true it is! If one manages to become a mother to everyone, it will bring the full happiness and succes in all spheres of life! For everyone would love to be around that person :). Is’t it amazing?

I think, this formula “you have to become a mother to everyone” is defineitly one of the greatest keys to the human soul.

Well, what can we do now, knowing that we missed the happiest phase in our life and are hopelessly searching for the compensation in form of money, power, success, appreciation? In the end of the book Jean Liedloff gives a hint that the experience of thoughtless awareness through meditation is able to give the sense of return to the complete happiness of a baby in the arms of its Mother.

LOVE, axinia

 

60 Responses to “Highly insightful: why it’s so hard to become happy, what is dramatically wrong in our child-care and how to overcome it”

  1. axinia Says:

    I love the observations of Jean Liedloff bacause they prove my personal experiences both in interpersonal relationships and inner life.
    One of the most powerful expriences for me was when I started meditating, in one of the first days…I suddenly got a feeling that I came back HOME. That was an awesome feeling of safety, happiness and comfort, like nothing else. So I can relate to what she suggests very, very well.

    Logically, meditating every day (assuming one is really getting thoughtless and enjoying the bliss of “being in the arms on the mother”), when done continiously, creates that necessary dose of hapiness which we missed in our babyhood. I think my life is a good proof of that. 🙂

    • Dmitri Says:

      hey axinia…realy great post…but regarding thoughtless awareness…how to get thoughtless…Im sorry but Im really frastreted with that allready…i maditate everyday and i cant get there..for 2 years now i’ve not been able to get to stage of maditation…and “im defantily looking to be in mothers arms”…..everywhere and always….nothing is satisfaing, not truely……there been maybe 3 , 4 times during does 2 years that i thought i was thoughtless thats it…i think i maditate becouse i beilive that it helps the kundalini to cure ne or something i sometimes feel some tickle in this or that finger…..but the maditations are so so unsedisfing thast all i guess…..dont have any idea’s just chalangeed hope

    • mahesh chendake Says:

      “in-arms”
      Foot Prints- A story
      I was walking on sea shore and talking with God, in silence. he said” I am always with you” I introspect my life back. and saw Some times their are two peoples “foot prints” on sand of life span,become happy and believe ,yes, he was with me. But when I saw more deeply ,sometimes there are only one persons foot prints. my interest is increased and I saw, those periods of my life, and unfortunately I find, those are the most difficult period of my life. So I complained him, whenever I am in trouble, you left me alone. He smiled and told ” my son your observation is correct ,there are only one person’s foot prints because I have taken you in “my laps” and not you but only I was walking. You are secured in my laps in your difficult period”.

  2. mahesh chendake Says:

    supposed to be best post ever before.
    and absolutely true. totally agree.
    Indian children are lucky in that sense as they get constant attention. happiness may be relate to better adjustments done by individual unconsciously which are learn/experiences in first year of life. The another saying from psychology comes true is” Our rest of life is nothing but mirror image of our first year of life”
    The people who lack in love during childhood are rarely develop the self esteem,comfort,trust,brotherhood,sharing and these are the things which gives happiness.

  3. mahesh chendake Says:

    “Logically, meditating every day (assuming one is really getting thoughtless and enjoying the bliss of “being in the arms on the mother”), when done continiously, creates that necessary dose of hapiness which we missed in our babyhood. I think my life is a good proof of that. ”
    the experience of thoughtless awareness through meditation is able to give the sense of return to the complete happiness of a baby in the arms of its Mother.

    I like it very much and absolutely true, axinia!
    thank you very much for such a great post. It may be divine purpose only that, this post come from you.it shows your closeness to the source. really good.

  4. Elke Says:

    It is true, meditation puts me back into that feeling of total comfort and security that I must have felt in my mother’s womb, yet so much wider – not in an enclosed way, but connected to the universe – in the divine mother’s womb I guess!

  5. Steve Says:

    Great post. Makes perfect sense.

  6. Alenok Says:

    Yes, Axinia, it is a great book. It saved my sanity in first days of my daughter’s life, when I found myself unable to put her in a separate crib or to be separate from her in any other way. Not that I wanted to, but what others seem to expect of me – with all these “nice” strollers, bottles and nursing room furniture they keep advertizing, not mentioning cans of formula that were sent to our house. After I had my girl, all of this didn’t feel right.
    But then I learn the most natural way – to be together all the time. What sleepless nights that everyone keeps talking about? Whenever I wanted to rest, I put my baby next to me and slept. I quickly learned to wear a sling and did all house work with baby sleeping right on me. We invited friends to our house and visited friends, we traveled as much as we wanted – we kept our lifestyle, and my girl was calm and happy as long as she was close to me or my husband. This is what it looked like:
    http://alenok.fotki.com/2007/anna-3-to-6/roses.html
    How many times I heard: “Put her down already, she will never leave your hands this way!” Somehow, now I have a happy, confident and relatively independent three years old.
    Of course, having around people that share your ideas always helps. And resources, like mothering.com website, with lots of ideas on how to bring up kids in a natural way.

    • axinia Says:

      thank you Alenok, this is a wonderful first-hand exeprince we have been missing here so far…luckily some wise people are aware of natural baby-care and I hope this awarenss will grow with the time!
      …and the photo is so sweet!! 🙂

  7. Alenok Says:

    In addition – Liedloff wrote her book in 1975. Since then, many things changed even in western world, espessialy in recent years – there are many more people on the streets wearing babies in slings or baby carriers, many people practice cosleeping, and when looking for an advise most mothers prefer Dr. Sears’s “Attachment Parenting” to the sad teachings of Dr. Spock. So soon we will have a new generation of people, most of whom did have “in arms” period.

  8. Triveni Says:

    Feels so true.. i guess this strengthens the heart chakra of the new-born. no doubt y in SY we are asked to recite Jai Jagadambha near our heart chakra. gives the same in-arms security and love.. 🙂
    thanks for sharing this axinia, and the pic is so so soo cute and perfect for this article.. 🙂

  9. Lovely post, Axinia!!! As much as I would want to believe that once a child is out of its mother’s womb and after the initial nursing period, it evolves much faster when left on its own with minimum intervention, I know it is not true as all scientific evidence points to the contrary.

    It’s true among other mammals and even birds, which unlike mammals (including humans), lay eggs instead of giving birth to live offspring. Little animals that are taken care of by their parents during the crucial early stages of development have a much higher chance of succeeding in the wild. It’s probably true for human kids as well.

    the aggressiveness is NOT in a human nature, and even children may never fight!

    I’m sorry, but I cannot believe that 😯 It even sounds a bit ridiculous 😀 Whether one likes it or not, humans are a part of the animal kingdom. And aggressiveness is a NATURAL INSTINCT in all animals, including clothed-apes-with-opposable thumbs. Without aggressiveness, it would simply be impossible for animals to survive in the wild. And it’s not just among boys. Any one who has observed animals knows that the fiercest and most aggressive behaviour among animals is NOT exhibited by the males of the species, but by the females when their young ones are threatened.

    I’ve even read a true incident about a mother leopard which witnessed its helpless cubs being killed by human scum creatures of the turdy, uncouth, evil Indian empire. It was enough to turn her into the fiercest and most violent human-killing leopard ever. She would simply go searching for humans, hunt them down like pigs, kill them and then BADLY MAUL their dead bodies. Strangely, she NEVER ate even a morsel out of any of their stinking bodies, though they were badly, gruesomely mauled. This indicated that she was NOT a man-eater, but had turned into the most violent and aggressive human-killer because she wanted REVENGE. She had seen pea-brained, turd-headed, lowlife, barbaro-hominoid Indian scum butcher her tiny cubs for no reason, and she wanted to extract revenge by doing the same thing to the filthy, uncouth hordes.

    It’s certainly true for all animals and humans. May be, just like animals, civilised humans aren’t aggressive UNTIL they are threatened or harmed. Once that is done, aggressiveness becomes natural instinct for humans and animals alike. It is THE way of mother nature. Anything that contradicts this natural principle sounds nonsensical to me. Aggressiveness and violent tendencies are good, necessary, vital and useful as long as one knows how to keep them under control in normal circumstances and unleash them at the appropriate time. Otherwise, qualitative evolution will cease and humans will go back to the Stone Age as the turdy, filthy, exploitative, sub-human scum beings take over the world with their barbarism and uncouthness.

    • axinia Says:

      Hi Raj, long time no seen 🙂

      It is understandable that you don’t believe that agressions is natural fro human beings – obviously you have not studies this amazing tribe in America…Would would you say is there is a clear eveidence opposite to your believe? I always thought you are a sintifically mindded person and like to investigate…

      I wish you could read the book and see for yourself.

    • I’ve been watching all the World Cup matches 🙂 and some go on late into the night. And they cut down on the time I spend on the net 😐

      What South American tribe are they? If they had to survive in the wild jungles of the Amazon basin among the fiercest alligators, anacondas and the like, then I bet they HAD to have at least some aggressiveness in them to have even survived to this age! What say? 😉

      However in no world culture babies are being carried 24 hours a days on a body of a mother.

      I think there are quite a few cultures where little children are carried on the bodies of their mothers, Axinia.

      In most of India’s North-Eastern states (many of which are under the continued, brutal, bloody military occupation by the lowly, filthy mercenary hordes of the uncouth, sub-human, turd world shit hole called the evil Indian empire), it’s natural for mothers to carry their little kids strapped to their bodies, either at the back or at the front, almost all the time:

      The North-Easterners are a nice, lovely, well-mannered, tough, hardy people who live in harsh mountainous terrain. The women must be particularly tough since they carry not just tiny infants, but also young children (as old as lil’ Elias) and trek around the hilly terrain. Not just that, they even work in the fields and elsewhere while carrying their kids with them all the time.

      Having said that, I think it is neither practical nor safe for a mother to carry a child like that all the time in an urban Western setting. What would she do while travelling or eating, for instance? It’s safer and better to put the child in a baby seat or a pram for some time at least. May be, mothers (and fathers, too) need to take a leaf out of Vin Diesel’s book in The Pacifier:

  10. traumatic separation from its mother at birth due to medical intervention and placement in maternity wards, in physical isolation except for the sound of other crying newborns…

    I’m not so sure about the “traumatic separation at birth” part, Axinia. Sometimes, but certainly not always, it becomes unavoidable to separate the baby from its mother at birth. It’s necessary for the well-being of both the child and the mother.

    Birth scenarios are often very different in the civilised societies and the filthy parts of crappy, uncouth turd world trash cans. It’s not wise to devise silly, inflexible rules that don’t make sense.

    I mean, in a civilised society, almost every birth takes place in a hospital and many are done through caesarean sections. Don’t you think it would be downright foolish to put a crying premature new born on its mother who is being sewn up and hasn’t yet recovered from the effect of powerful anaesthesising chemicals, instead of an incubator 😕 Besides, what if it is too cold and the prematurely born baby has difficulty breathing? What sense does it make to keep such a baby away from the incubator where it needs to be, if it has to survive at all 😕 Survival and physical well-being of the mother and then the baby should comes first and foremost, and unproven ideas about emotional well-being can come later.

    Of course, in the filthy parts of a turd world dump hole (like the sewery parts of the evil Indian empire) where the nearest hospital has to be reached by crossing tens of kilometres of dirt “roads” in solid-wheeled carts, where the uncouth, pea-brained hordes keep popping out babies by the dozens at home, typically supervised by an illiterate old woman with a broken, rusted blade who acts as the “midwife”, there may be no choice but to let the mother and child bond immediately. It may be only chance of survival for the child in the filthy parts of the uncivilised turd world that have disgustingly high maternal, neo-natal and infant mortality rates.

    with the majority of male babies further traumatized by medically unnecessary circumcision surgery

    Whoa! I thought the civilised societies of the West had given up this primitive religious practice of male circumcision during infancy long, long ago. Christianity doesn’t even advise male circumcision. Even if it did (which it doesn’t), the societies of the West are evolved enough and civilised enough to dump primitive, worthless practices and religious blind beliefs if they fall foul of scientific and medical principles. (Unfortunately and sadly, the same cannot be said of the other two Abrahamic religions controlled by uncouth, mediaeval preachers and interpreters who cannot get their turd heads to realise that they are firmly holding down the hordes they control in the mediaeval age by dishing out pea-brained, rigid, inflexible, backward and primitive interpretations of what they call as “holy” scriptures.)

    How common is it for the Christians (and atheists) in Europe to circumcise their male babies during infancy, in this 21st century 😕 I bet it is VERY RARE indeed – may be less than 0.2% or even 0.1% if you leave out the ones done under the advise and supervision of medics?

    🙂

  11. axinia Says:

    Raj, this is exactly the tribe that lives the wild jungles of the Amazon basin among the fiercest alligators, anacondas:

    http://indian-cultures.com/Cultures/yekuana.html

    • Dave Paquiot Says:

      Raj

      its been a while how have u been?

      Dave

      • Cher Dave,

        I’m doing fine. I hope things are good at your end and that you enjoyed your hard-earned vacation. As for me, I’m enjoying the football carnival 😉 It was unfortunate that the USA got knocked out last night. They’ve definitely been one of the better teams to watch in this tournament.

        Un Terrien extraterrestre

        🙂

    • Thanks for the link, Axinia! The Yekuana are a lovely people, and they seem to be very skilled at making beautiful stuff with their bare hands.

      As for their aggressiveness, one look at the pictures of their exotic weaponry is enough for me to believe that they do indeed have some aggressiveness in them, which they should!

      The men also carve benches and ritual weapons. The ritual weapons were once used in warfare but now are used only for ceremonies.

      That shows that those neat weapons were actually intended for purposes other than use as cutlery. Hehehe 😉

      But seriously, those are beautiful weapons. I haven’t seen anything like those battle clubs before. And those are sizzling hot blow guns! Woe betide the person who crosses a Yekuana who can blow a deadly dart (presumably tipped with the strongest poison that the Amazon rainforest can yield) straight into the heart 😯

      Despite Brazil being a turd world trash can of an evil empire, I respect the Brazilians, and not just for their football skills or the pristine Amazon rainforest and all that it contains. It seems, that unlike other uncouth, filthy hordes that (over)populate the lowly turd world, at least some Brazilians aren’t eager arse-lickers of criminal scum. Just take a look at this:

      That is a demonstration by hundreds of Brazilians in front of the filthy, shitty embassy of the turdy, sub-human, evil Indian empire in Brasilia, protesting against the murderous, genocidal “Operation Green Hunt” unleashed by the turdy, barbaric mercenary dogs of the evil Indian empire to wipe out the tribals of central and eastern India, occupy their land and loot its minerals. To see such a demonstration in a continent that is on the the other side of the globe against the murderous scum of the evil Indian empire warms my heart, especially when the filthy, uncouth turd-heads that (over)populate the shitty Indian empire aren’t capable of organising such a demonstration themselves.

      Just a look at the pea-brained, sub-human, grass-eating turd beings emerging out of the filthy embassy, with their shitty faces completely bewildered by the vociferous demonstation against the murderous sewer creatures of the evil Indian empire is enough to give one a laugh. Apparently not everyone is naive and gullible enough to be fooled by the LIES, DECEPTION and CHEATING that is an inborn part of the savage, uncouth, pea-brained scum that (over)populate the filthy, turdy, evil Indian empire.

      🙂

      • axinia Says:

        Raj, by agressiveness i was meant that they are never agressive to each other. Since they are hunting, they kill animals, but you may know that Indian tribes ahve a very different attiude to kiling animals – even if they kill, they kind of ask for forgiveness. There is no agression in the sense we mean it involved.

        • “even if they kill, they kind of ask for forgiveness” – ?????

          There are no different forms of aggression that is acceptable to some people and not acceptable to others! Aggression is aggression, even if one egg is used to make an omlet – Damn, you are killing a life!!

          Destination Infinity

          • …even if one egg is used to make an omlet – Damn, you are killing a life!!

            😆 😆 😛

            Perhaps you need to take a look at a modern commercial poultry farm to find out how eggs are obtained! Almost all eggs from poultry farms are UNFERTILISED eggs from hens which are kept without roosters. So the eggs are just that -EGGS and NOT embryos, so no one is “killing a life” by making an omelette. The eggs that you buy in a grocery store or supermarket are NEVER going to hatch into chickens even if you put them into an incubator! 🙂

            Of course, there are eggs which are fertilised eggs that can be bought, especially eggs obtained from free range hens and those bought from small farmers who keep a few chicken and other animals to supplement their income. But these are mostly available in rural areas and rare. Almost every egg sold in cities and towns are unfertilised eggs obtained from modern poultry farms.

            By the way, since you mentioned “killing a life”, how dare you, yes YOU, MURDER millions of lives and eat their flesh 👿 Don’t you know that plants are LIVES as well??? Did your biology teacher teach you only zoology, completely omitting botany??? If plants are not “lives”, then are they dead stones and mud???

            How dare you, yes, YOU MURDER millions of lives and eat their flesh at every meal??? 👿 Remember that the next time you eat a spoonful of rice or a piece of bread, YOU HAVE KILLED hundreds of LIVES (grain yielding plants), by MURDERING THEM, removing their reproductive organs and then devouring them 😮 UNLIKE unfertilised eggs, every rice grain that you eat is a SEED, which is capable of growing into a plant if put into the soil! Damn, you are MURDERING thousands of LIVES at every meal you eat!!! 👿

            Not just grains like rice and wheat, remember that every pulse, vegetable and fruit you eat is obtained either by KILLING LIVES completely or by cutting off their REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS or LIMBS, so that YOU can devour them! 👿 How murderous of you to MURDER thousands of LIVES and eat them at every meal 😈 If all the meals that you have eaten since childhood are counted, then YOU are a KILLER of MILLIONS, if not BILLIONS of lives 😯 Damn, YOU are a mass murderer!!! 👿 😯

            Even if you have murdered only plants and devoured their flesh, don’t ever think you are free from committing heinous crimes against animals!!! How evil of you to drink milk and buttermilk, eat butter, cheese and cream, and use smelly ghee for cooking??? 👿 How evil and cunning of you to STEAL, LOOT, ROB and THIEVE the mother’s milk of animals that were meant for their calves. Damn, you are THIEVING mother’s milk that was never meant for your greedy mouth!!!

            Even if you claim to worship the cow 😆 don’t ever think the cow (or buffalo or goat) will pardon you of the heinous sins of STEALING its mother’s milk!!! It is exactly what you are accusing the native Americans of doing – eating flesh after asking for forgiveness for the “aggression”. How is that different from you claiming to worship the cow and yet be murderous enough to THIEVE the mother’s milk that was not meant for you, but for its starving calves! Damn, you are STEALING the mother’s milk of a hapless life!

            So why don’t you begin to practise what you claim to preach and STOP KILLING LIVES and DEVOURING THEIR FLESH??? Why don’t you begin to eat stones, mud and metal pellets??? Only then can you even claim that you don’t kill lives, but others are, when they eat. Otherwise your HYPOCRISY is laid bare for all to see!

            I would LOVE to see your (or any other grass-eater’s) response to this comment, dear DI 🙂 Make no mistake, I’m also a grass-eater (surprised, eh? 😉 ), but I get annoyed whenever a grass-eater claims that he/she doesn’t “kill lives” but carnivores (no offence meant to any carnivore here 😉 ) are “killing lives and eating their flesh”. Before grass-eaters start making such ridiculous, outrageous and hypocritical comments, they need to take a look at their food and how grass-eaters KILL so many lives and devour their flesh at every meal!!!

            RSVP?

            🙂

        • I feel very sad for them IF they don’t have any aggressiveness or have given it up, Axinia 😦 They definitely need it for sure! They may live deep inside the inaccessible regions of the Amazon basin and that may have given them a natural protection so far from other tribes as well as the turd world crap hole that is the uncouth Brazilian empire.

          But it may only be a matter of time before the turdy Brazilian empire unleashes hordes of mercenary dogs to butcher the Yekuana, occupy their land and loot its resources. Unless the Yekuana equip all their tribespeople with those blowguns that shoot deadly poison-tipped darts as well as other weapons like rifles, machine guns, explosives etc. and learn how to defend themselves and their land, they may become sitting ducks for the turdy, uncouth, filthy Brazilian empire.

          Someone needs to tell the Yekuana about the evil nature of lowly turd world shit holes like the uncouth Brazilian empire. The Yekuana need to take a look at what is happening to the adivasis of India (as well as the Nagas, Manipuris, Mizos, Kashmiris etc.) who are being killed, gangraped, butchered and tortured by filthy sub-human mercenary pigs unleashed by the shitty turd world dump hole called the uncouth, evil Indian empire. Uncivilised, barbaric, pea-brained turd world hordes don’t have even milligrams of things like ethics, morality, compassion or humanity inside their tiny, turdy heads and it may be too much to expect decent behaviour from such lowlife turd world filth beings. The Yekuana need to be prepared!

          Yes, I’ve heard of not just the native American tribes but all other indigenous people from the Aborigines to the Eskimos who live in harmony with nature kind of asking for forgiveness when they kill animals for food. It’s exactly like what the Na’vi people of Pandora were shown to do in Avatar. A television programme once showed an indigenous people hunting for food in an Arctic land and they were sad and solemn when the animal was killed, uttering a prayer while they packed the meat that would last their families for weeks during the cold winter months.

          It’s a pity that such people who live as one among nature, taking no more than what is absolutely necessary for survival are being butchered and their lands looted and occupied en masse by hordes and hordes 👿 of pea-brained, savage, rapidly overbreeding, barbaric, lowlife turdy scum creatures like what is happening in the uncouth, sub-human, turd world shit hole that is the evil Indian empire 😡

          🙂

  12. mahesh chendake Says:

    aggressiveness ……, but by the females when their young ones are threatened.
    I totally support this statement of raj.Personally I have experienced that with newly delivered dog.I had dog bite and to take anti rabies vaccine. It is observed even in birds also.

    • Sorry to hear that you were bitten by a dog with newborn puppies, Maheshsaheb. I have personally experienced it with a cat. I wasn’t even trying to hurt her cute kittens, but only stroking and cuddling the lovely, furry creatures. But the mother cat didn’t like me touching her little ones and dug her sharp claws into my skin 😥 That was intended as a stern warning, and if I didn’t withdraw, I bet she would have decided to sink her sharp teeth into me 😦

      I learnt it the hard way that one should never play the fool with little animals when their mother is near.

      🙂

      • mahesh chendake Says:

        I also!!!!
        with Rs.1000/- vaccine in three dosage
        Even I was not knowing also that they are their. I was taking out flowers for puja.

  13. mahesh chendake Says:

    Raj,
    Now forget about Home Deliveries.and All the Dai’s are not like that.some of them are really good and practicing scientific midwifery. questions of reachablity and attitude of people, i agree some of the areas still not approachable,but we definitely recommend institutional deliveries. MCH program , Now NRHM really good, need to be practiced sincerely. why still we have LBW baby, maternal,neonatal deaths? neglected ANC care? In institution many times it is seen that obstetrics gives good weight baby but pediatrician fails to follow as during first year of life child suffers from diarrheal diseases, bronco pneumonia,and loose weight, turns to malnourished, some of child rearing practices are responsible. where really home deliveries are essential there really we are trying to develop good dai’s, practicing based on scientific knowledge but most of times people’s response is not appropriate. Even In urban ” parenthood” need to be taught. really even literates are also unaware about it, forget about ” melghat in Maharashtra” where everything is lacking. Even in Hospitals like J.J. ,KEM, you should see behavior of UP and Beharies. really people needs to be educated? main sufferer and responsible is a woman only. Why we want male child only? (She going on giving birth’s of unwanted female children, in want of male child, family pressure?. or sex determination and female infanticide?,Her health is totally neglected). give “Moksha ??? !!!” , To carry forward family cycle ” Vavnsh”( Axinia- Hindu Practices?).If there is no male child every care is neglected to child even as a human being. sex determination & Infanticide ??? forget about illiterate, Axinia, well educated families and of course doctors? (without technology it is not possible) from urban are practicing even though it is a crime, Just check Male: female ratio, In all states of India Punjab 1000:700. Hariyana even bellow?Maharshtra, In my place 788??? lowest female rate taluka ??(even though having good literacy,and economic status) . where is literacy? humanity? Think about Attitude of people??? For girl child even birth right is also denied. Just check ” Save girl child Abhiyan, Nakooshee ( Means in Marathi Don’t Want) detection Abhiyan” .Name of the girl child is kept ” Nakoshee”. so what care she will receive in family? I bet, you ask all females, partiality has been done or not in child rearing practices.Unfortunately answer is “YES”. She is totally neglected even from mother???. your blog photo of little angel with mother is very nice, but for me it is male child and gives wrong message in India so I have not commented.
    Apart from this Raj, ” parenthood” ” Rooming In. ” what we teach in hospital to our student, and of course people at large is really different and, good nearer to practices told in blog from the book. Institutional normal devilries, Early detection of complication, Good ANC,PNC care and Planned Parenthood without sex determination are our Aim, Of course reduction in mortality and morbidity.that’s why initially I talk about ” at least Early and exclusive breast feeding” practices and good child rearing practices. stop blind beliefs and blindly following westerns specially in high class people. Western’s also pickup such some good practices from india .Emotional component definitely need tobe taken care of as, It is proved psychologically that First year of life is very crucial for child’s development. Plz. check Neonatal mortality rate,Infant mortality rate, and maternal mortality rates, They are very high in India . unfortunately study is not available for emotional development of child and impact of child rearing practices during First year , How it affect letter on that’s why importance goes to this book study. but by experience in OPD, I Can tell you that such children definitely develop separation anxiety, Phobia, thumb sucking, enuresis,and developmental and educational lag. they are emotionally poor. poor for adjustment and personality and it is not their fault. It is parent’s gift to them.
    I can write and talk hour’s together but I will stop here ( need to do another imp.work also).
    (After three month of delivery my wife has to work, Unfortunately, Even in my daughters also, i have seen those effects, in mild form, for which i always curse myself)

  14. There is an old Indian fable which goes like this: King goes to the forest and sees a woman deliver the baby all by herself and carry it back home, by herself! Casually, that is. So, he thinks that all the medical attention that the queen was getting in the palace was a waste of resources! and he thinks that the queen could also deliver children like that! Then our ever knowing Minister steps in and makes the King understand that they were two cultures and the practices of one culture may not suit another one like a ready-made shirt! and averts a tragedy.

    Human living, is no longer about survival alone! Since we are looking to get so many more things in life than just survival, may be the western way of independent parenting has some justification in them. Maybe they are trying to make self-made and self-starting youngsters instead of the kids who are always dependant on the mothers for everything.

    Destination Infinity

    • axinia Says:

      DI, I wodner what you will say after reading the book?..

      Indenepndent Western parenting has created millions of unhappy, frustrated, completely lost, infantile (!) and confused adults. You cannot imagine what a disaster, to see the 30-40 year old adults here…I feel so sorry for all of us. We are all so desperate for love and care which we missed….

  15. gracierios Says:

    Wow, very interesting blog entry. I cannot agree more. A mother must provide the child with both “milk” and “honey” for the child to grow up healthy (both physically and mentally) and stable. Out of curiosity, are you a mother yet? 🙂

  16. nyrie roos Says:

    I agree with all that you say and believe that kangaroo mother care is good for the Mom and new born whatever the situation from birth, I have recently undertaken research for a book on KMC and have interviewed parents who had been told that their babies were dead, and then revived them using KMC. The medical orientated thiking, in my opinion needs to move aside and lMoms get back to native closeness with their baby

  17. Triveni Says:

    hi Axinia,
    today i was just going through shri mataji’s lecture on how to bring up children (the 2nd speech) and it says tat one should not always be carrying the child:
    http://sahaj-az.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-to-bring-up-small-children.html
    So this kind of questions the concept.
    What do u think?

    • axinia Says:

      Triveny, that’s a good question, girl!

      When i wrote this post, i had no own experince on it, but now I have.

      My baby is 4 months now and the frist 3 months I ahve been carrying it a lot, but of cause not always – and i have very good , exellent results (exactly how is written in the book, that the baby has a total trust in mother and also is very collective, no fear of others).
      But there shoudl be a balance, always. No fanticism. Of course I was not doing it exactly the way they write in the book, because this is impossible in the modern life. Also when the baby sleeps, it sleeps next to me but again 30sm away from my body, so it is not getting the heat actually. During the day the baby sleeps alone, I bring her to sleep and then get up and do ym things, so she is alone again.
      How when she is bigger (4 months) I hold her less and less, because there is no real need, she is happy on her own too.

      The wisdom and intuitive pure knowledge is always important, never get fanatic about anything, develop a balance attitude – that is what Mother has always told us, right?

      • In another word it is called as socialization of child which is equally important. Mother also always said, one must be collective,isn’t it?
        Socialization starts from family itself,then neighbor,school. etc
        Another thing Axinia , my mother in law always used to say that when time comes children learns automatically about everything ( all life experiences…) … I do not totally agree for it, there should be some preparations for any thing what I believe so even though we believe intrusions there should be some knowledge too … so we can prevent many complications and prepare for oneself better which will reduce unnecessarily stress too… what do u think? I totally support for your spiritual experience and Mother’s speech. To develop balanced attitude in day to day practice is difficult task which we have to achieve through daily meditation practices.(wisdom and intuitive pure knowledge… very few people become master of it) Bravo … Keep going…
        Thanks

        • axinia Says:

          Shri Mataji once said: “If these childrend would not need any upbringing and education, they would not be born to you but to some trees”. And this was about great souls being born, what do you think about normal people?? of course they need patential guidance and correction. Personal experience they will get anyway but first comes the input from parents I think.

          • Triveni Says:

            Yes.. totally true.. 🙂 instead of just strictly following the sayings, one must learn to develop their own wisdom to balance things in life. As opposed to the always carrying the baby, or totally leaving the baby by itself, it is important to carry the baby when it needs and to also give it its own space to develop and explore.

            • you are absolutely right but deep insight in my mind is i dont know purpose of my existence. If It is a Moksha then why we enter in this family dramas because emotions plays their role and I know many example where parents are good but childrens are spoiled and vice varsa . Their are many good children who developed from slum, or from very poor,illiterate parents who can not afford anything even daily bread.
              so why these children came in our family and they are what type of soul difficult to answer and even beyond imagine. but defiantly what we transmit is good culture, human values and independability rather than materialism and comfort things. I used to go school barefoot and with only one dress ( for that i am not blemming my parent) but when now I can afford ( i have to give even i can not afford..) my children are having many pairs of it and even they can not imagine that one can go barefoot and only with one dress . they are having different uniform for different days and they are not allowed with it even at all they goes other children and even teachers curse them so straightway they says without it they will not go to school .. so I mean say what culture we are transmitting to next gen and really whether they are aware of our efforts and nights and lives we spends for them sleeplessly working tirelessly… I think… No.
              educationalist say parents except more … Mother says mostly parents spoils children … Do u understand where balance is lies exactly?….. This is huge topic to write and share ….
              Thanks

              • axinia Says:

                mahesh, this is a truly huge topic. I guess there are some good guidelines but after all everyone should see for himself..So many things play a role in the parential decisions: the spiritual, matrial, social, professional and even physical state of parents are all influencing. As in everything, here we need much wisdom.

            • axinia Says:

              Triveni, besides, very baby is different and has differnt demands. Many experience the birht trauma and are fearful, weak, often crying because of that. Then they need more attention and shoudl be carried around more. Some were lucky to have an easy birth and thus feel secure and happy, they don’t need much. It is important to know and understand that and don’t blame a baby that it is “attached”. Babies are doing nothing for no reason.

              • Triveni Says:

                Birth trauma 😦 that’s something i never thought of. As you said its all very unique for every baby.

                • axinia Says:

                  birth trauma is very common, and has a severe impact. should never undersestimate that. in fact, almost every birth if not completely natural, is quite traumatic.

              • by the way Axinia apart from all philosophical view first cry of child is said to be very important. If child doesn’t cry it affect on APGAR score which decides further development of child so if child doesn’t cry even though seeing all that fearful environment, pediatrician slaps on soals of the child to cry ( Remember all is well streaming from Amir Khan’s three ideat ) . still I know few examples where child doesn’t cry still develop normal in coming future . (One I know doing Medical now in our campus)…any way it is very true that mothers womb is consider as safest and most comfortable for child so in future whenever people develop stress and goes to regression they assume that “C”shape position ” taking head, hands,leg in abdomen and sleeping in left lateral position” for sleeping…
                Thanks

  18. vinayakah Says:

    ….how to overcome it…

    Lets start with giving parents much more time to be spent with their children, to talk with them, to touch them, to show them their love, to show them how world can be beautifull….than we can talk further.


  19. Axinia, all people talks about mother and her dedication towards child ,This song is dedicated to fatherhood. it is in Marathi by saleel kulkarni . meaning you can get translated from any Maharastrian collectivity in your center

    this is called as “vidamban” in Marathi just opposite to first one but good one you can enjoy both

    this another one for lonely child whose both parents are working
    thanks


  20. Axinia, all people talks about mother and her dedication towards child ,This song is dedicated to fatherhood. it is in Marathi by saleel kulkarni . meaning you can get translated from any Maharastrian collectivity in your center

    this is called as “vidamban” in Marathi just opposite to first one but good one you can enjoy both

    this another one for lonely child whose both parents are working
    thanks

    pool games, utorrent

  21. […] The Mother you have been longing for. […]


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