1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

POLL: What is your reality? or the String Theory in our earthly lives February 27, 2010

Since my childhood I was keen on understanding human nature. Having lived in various countries, being acquainted in person with several thousands of people and having studied cross-cultural communication, I came to a conclusion that people do not share one reality, each one lives in his/her personal reality with pretty different laws! I noticed that everyone has a certain “line of action” throughout his/her life, a certain pattern of behaviour that make the life of a person exactly to what it is.

Let me give you some examples. We all probably know some people who love fighting: They will fight with a salesman over the quality of a product, with a waiter over the lack of service, with the spouse over just anything… Then you probably know some very lucky people who do not have to move much and yet keep getting attractive bonus from Ms.Fortuna. We can meditate on the reason of such “lifelines” – either it is genes, social background or karma – no matter what, the fact is, we all seem to be living in very particular “realities” that often do not cross! And the more so, it seems that this realities never change: the one who loves suffering will find a reason to suffer in any situation.

I am curious to see your response on the small poll I’ve created on that topic.

What fascinates me is the impact on these “lines of action”: They seem to work in a certain manner and create rules for each of us. A person who works in a “suffering” mode will not work in the “peace” mode, and these two will most probably never understand each other. How often do we say “this person is from another planet”? Sounds a bit like the famous String Theory, right?

I wonder what your observations tell: Is it possible “to switch the realities”, do you know some examples when people suddenly changed their modus operandi?

My comments and analysis after several days of voting:

  1. the voting shows wonderful results however I suspect it to be not representative for the majority of people…may be evene not for the majority of my readership!
  2. I guess that the points that I suggested are not clearly reflecting the main idea, not well composed…
  3. basically, I can say this attempt has failed and I will make another try later… 🙂

thanks a lot, my dear ones!

LOVE; axinia


31 Responses to “POLL: What is your reality? or the String Theory in our earthly lives”

  1. Fatima Says:

    I voted~

    And, I can say that in a way, I have switched my reality in one point of my life, which in turn led me to you on that “new reality road”. When I was a few years younger, I felt pressured by society, my parents and my self to become what they all wanted, to try and live up to their expectations. And, try as I might, I always had the “I will never be as good” attitude because of my parents and social acquaintances harsh critiques of me. Then, one day at a time, I started opening up to my spirituality, accepting that I am perfect as I am, and should love myself regardless.

    Then, like one door of epiphany after another, I started breaking free of the false reality I was cocooned into. I realized that the way things are now, the beautiful, inspirational and hopeful way things are, is the way it IS. I realized that I had always known and believed this, and was just led astray for the moment. Suddenly, days were wonderful, not another battle I had to fight. I started loving each and everything, and understanding why things needed to happen, and some things didn’t. That in turn led me to spiritually inspiring websites, and yours happens to be one that helps me remember why to keep smiling.

    So, for me, my life is full of Flow and Joy.

  2. Swaps Says:

    I am more likely to vote for what I want my life to be rather than what it is.

  3. Charisma Says:

    nice poll, made me think of mine life 😀
    joy was my choice of life

  4. Lakia Says:

    I enjoyed this! I chose “setting goals” because I definitely try to reach high for the goals that I set and achieve them.

  5. feuilletonlotus Says:

    like Fatima, after years of following the rules of ‘linear’ development prescribed by my close environment, including my myself (at some point, it stopped….afterwards personal tsunamis), i finally realized what Jung wanted to tell with his ‘circular-mandala’ theory!

    You cant draw a circle without a center point. Likewise, the center of my life should be my self, the wholeness of my personality, but which cannot tolerate self-deceptions.

    truly, everything, all routes I had been following, were leading back to a single point — namely, to the mid-point. my self!
    witnessing my journey, love and feeling joy…

  6. I was just thinking aloud, I dont really know what my life ‘is’ . I hope that doesnt sound like something out of Heideggar. The words ‘Life’ and ‘is’ connote the same mystery to me.

    I would say my life now is an attempt to live in the moment. When I was younger I wanted to fulfil all the expectations family teachers friends had for me. I wanted to be happy avoid bad situation, drive a nice car.

    Calamity as always, re-adjusts one’s vision. Now I just want to take care of my basic needs and my resposibilities and live in the most free way possible which to me is to attempt to live in the moment.

  7. Dmitri Says:

    i choose trust, and suffering. Also could off easly choose flow too but it gave only two options …trust is the most obavius choise for me couse i defantly trust and people trust me (beacuse im trying to be as honest as i can). im giving a chanse to trust also on people who seem to be untrustworthy, maybe by trusting them they’ll will wont to be worthy of trust..and suffering becouse no9 metter how good it gets there is alwy’s something wrong the joy is not complate…and there is a voice in my head that try’s to brake my confidnce…I have some good days… even relly good but when i go to sleep i dont know how i will wake up the next morning.

  8. Dima Says:

    I can not live in one or two modes, I haven’t understood why, so far. May be you can tell me Axinia?
    So I choose peace, trust, luck, flow, joy and achivement.
    I don’t say that I live there, but I really want to de there.

    • axinia Says:

      Dima, the modes I have suggested are estimated, there must be many more possibilites… Or less? May be it is only the FLow and the Struggle? (and the rest is just included into these two)..

  9. pooyan Says:

    Axinia, how did you choose these topics ? Do you know some psychology or what ? I’ve chosen joy, and it seems that most of your readers do agree with me > what’s the matter? are your readers mostly Sahaja Yogis ? 😀
    all the best .

    • axinia Says:

      I’ve chosen these lines on my own, but since I have a psychological education too, I think I am kind of authorized to do that 🙂

      most of my readers are definetly not yogis … But recently most of those who comment – yes. There is a huge difference between those who read and those who comment…
      This is still a mystery for me, why some people read my blog since years and never comment! but sometimes these silent readers manifest themeselves, and that feels like a present 🙂

      • pooyan Says:

        wow, it is really interesting that only yogis are commenting; any reason you know ?
        I faced the same phenomenon on my blog in Persian, is it a problem or is that just normal ? What you think axinia ?

        • axinia Says:

          it only has started recently. I quess yogis have finally discoverd blogs :))))))))))))
          It’s OK but I really would love to see other comemnting as well. But in fact, with me it is not only yogis :)) many, but not all.

          • pooyan Says:

            agreed, so all the best for the wave of web surfing amongst the yogis 😉
            it has some good and bad effects, don’t wanna disscuss it, anyway it is good for ranking of the sahaj blogs and sites. They are the support. and best of luck for the 1000petals !

  10. mirel Says:

    Axinia…. aaaand the Oscar gooooes to>well, you would say ‘saburi, patience my dear!
    all the best

  11. I did not vote, Axinia 😐

    That’s because I don’t think anyone’s life is full of one particular thing, whatever it is.

    it seems that this realities never change

    They sure do change many times, Axinia, for almost all people. If they never changed, then people would never approach astrologers and numerologists 😐

    the one who loves suffering will find a reason to suffer in any situation.

    You can call me crazy, but as far as I know, no one even likes to suffer, let alone love to suffer 😯

    Of course, there are sadistic sewer creatures 👿 who love to (individually and collectively) cause suffering to others, watch and enjoy others’ suffering and miseries and profit from them 😡 Such low life creatures, being the sub-human sub-animal scum beings that they are, are too filthy to even warrant a mention in a post such as this.

    How often do we say “this person is from another planet”?

    Why do I get the funny feeling that this is some kind of oblique reference to my name in the blogosphere? 😉

    basically, I can say this attempt has failed and I will make another try later… 🙂

    It requires a great deal of wisdom and strength of character to recognise and accept one’s own failed attempts, Axinia, and you certainly have it! 🙂

    • axinia Says:

      Dear Raj, ou and me, we difinitely live in two different realities…I belive that this theory is basically correct, I just could not articulate it properly.

      As for me, I alway live “in the flow”, and I never try to achieve anything. All the main things in my life have happend besides me searching for it /choosing it: I studied linguistics because my perents wanted it (I wanted psychology, but i was not avaliabel at that time), I moved to Austria because someone else wanted me to move there, I married to my husband because it was arranged for me, any single job I took is because employers just wanted me to be there!… I was never looking after something, never struggling to get anything, it all came my way.

      To me it looks like a very strong pattern of life, which differs from many people around. Even for my sister, life has a different pattern…

      • Realities do change for sure, Axinia, and many times over the life of a person. Or one may even be living in multiple realities, seamlessly moving from one state to another. Think of it like shifting gears or even having a multi course meal. Life is never fixed in one gear or one mode, and it’s in our control to a large extent, apart of other factors, of course. We are the masters of our own destinies and our fate is in our own hands to a very large extent 😐

        Even if one lives in the so-called “flow” one has to struggle to maintain control. One cannot just expect the flow to do stuff for us when we would be doing them consciously or sub-consciously. Imagine what would happen if a down-hill skier just relies on the “flow” (the force of gravity) to take him down the hill without doing controlling his run? He would be smashed to smithereens against the rocks 😦 Just because gravity aids him as opposed to a cross-country skier who has to “struggle”, it doesn’t mean the realities are mutually exclusive or opposite. The same applies to a sail-boat as opposed to a row-boat. Just because one gets assisted by the “flow” (the wind) and the other has to “struggle”, it does not mean that the realities are mutually exclusive or fixed.

        I hope you don’t allow the abilities of your inquisitive scientific mind to be influenced by the stink of the uncouth bovine excremental concepts that emanate from the open sewers of the lowly, shameless Indian sub-continent, Axinia. A country where a handful of filthy criminal loafers (in parliament) from the sewers can openly declare on International Women’s Day that they are prepared to go to any extent to keep women confined to their mediaeval roles of being child-breeding cooking machines is to put it mildly, a regressive, uncivilised barbarocracy that’s trapped in the early chalcolithic age.

        Widespread blind belief in rabid, primitive, crappy and sub-human ideas and concepts like “fixed unchangeable fate” and “previous births’ karma” will, over a period of time, lead to any “culture” regressing into being a basket case of uncouthness, like the filthy lowlies of the world’s most overpopulated sub-continent. I hope the global wind does not carry the stink from lowly “cultures” to pollute the more civilised places that have come a long way from such mediaeval barbarism.


        • Dave Paquiot Says:

          I read our comment this morning and was struck by somethings, namely: ‘the stink of the uncouth bovine excremental concepts’, ‘ a regressive, uncivilised barbarocracy that’s trapped in the early chalcolithic age’, ‘primitive sub-continental regressive superstitious blind beliefs’, ‘the stink from lowly “cultures” ‘

          Those are pretty serious statements, especially given both the force and frequency of how you say them. On the sufi way we are reminded that the world is a mirror, showing us more often than not our own self. I often read your words nad have wonder what causes you to speak out so frequently and forcible about this, what has made you so angry?

          Here is an anecdote you may like, taken from the Commanding Self by idries Shah. “If you treat people in Europe and North America as if they were unsophisticated ‘natives’ they will react appropriately. For isntances,you can engage them in conversation on abstruce matters, or on things which are their supposedly important concerns, and they will respond accordingly.

          But…you may get the most sophisticated intellectual and tell him that u are about to write his name in arabic letters, and you will have him entrapped in an instant as surely as if he was an African or Asian having his first sight ofa Polaroid camera’s product.

          I have reduced many a professor or engineering, scientist or businessman to silence nadpliant eagerness -by saying as demonstraation of this, that I could read his or her character from the palm of a hand.

          There are lots of other indications too which show that people will react according to how you treat them.

          • Dear Dave,

            If such phrases have shocked 😯 you, then I’m sorry 😦

            However, I’m NOT saying sorry for using those serious phrases, but only for the fact that they weren’t pleasant for you 😐

            The truth hurts, doesn’t it? Especially if it comes from a very unlikely source? 😐

            If I had been praising the “glorious culture” of the sub-continent and its “great traditions” and its “democracy”, then you probably would not have even noticed it. You may have even been appreciative of me for uttering such non-sense. On the other hand, if someone from a civilised country used the same phrases as I did, you would have immediately branded him an “imperialist”, one with a “colonial mindset”, a “racist” etc., even if what he said were a 100% truthful reflection of the ground realities. Perhaps what stunned you was not the phrases themselves or what they implied, but rather the person who was making them, something that was totally unexpected, and therefore struck like a bolt out of the blue.

            About the quote from the saint about Arabic letters, palmistry and Polaroid cameras, I get the feeling that you are confusing civilisation with wealth. Civilisation has got nothing to do with wealth (though if a place is civilised, it would naturally ensure that everyone in it gets the opportunity to lead a decent life). It’s still possible for a society of modest means to be civilised, just as it is possible for a society rolling in wealth to be uncouth. Want an example? Certain places that earn massive amounts of $$$ due to the export of natural resources have more than enough wealth to make them the most advanced culture in the world. Yet, in terms of civilisational advancement, the sheer mediaeval nature of their “culture” becomes so obvious immediately.

            By the way, not all Asians and Africans are technologically backward. For instance, if one shows a Japanese or a South Korean a polaroid camera, he would perhaps buy it as a museum piece and show you a digital video-camera on his ring or a cute humanoid robot that records videos and takes pictures based on voice instructions 🙂

            Coming back to the topic of civilisation, the hordes of the lowly Third World made a big hue and cry when one of the most civilised and advanced countries in the world, a genuine direct democracy and a beacon of hope for human civilisation, decided to prevent the construction of minarets in a referendum. Mind you, the Swiss did not ban/prevent the practice of a particular religion, nor did they destroy minarets, nor did they attack places of worship. Not a single person was attacked in the run-up to the minaret referendum. Yet all the Third World hordes and the world “mainstream media” scoundrels united in condemning the Swiss.

            However, one particular country suddenly decided that its Christian minority had no right to call “God” as “God” in their languages and when the move was overturned by a court, savage hordes began attacking and destroying churches by throwing bombs at them:


            Not a single Third World barbarocracy, nor a “mainstream media” scoundrel condemned these heinous attacks and the shameful violation of the freedom of religion in the Third World, yet they were all baying for the blood of the civilised Swiss people.

            Barely a couple of days ago, savage mobs of uncouth goons in another barbarocracy brutally slaughtered 500 people in cold blood on a single day, mostly helpless children and women, for the main reason that were members of a different religion (Christianity):

            Did you hear even a murmur of protest or condemnation from the uncouth Third World countries or the “mainstream media” scoundrels against this despicable crime against humanity? Barely a whisper.

            Come to think of it, hundreds of children and women were slaughtered in cold blood in a single day for practising a different religion and yet the uncouth Third World hordes didn’t even condemn it, they barely noticed the inhuman atrocity in their fellow barbarocracy. Yet, if the Swiss merely decide in a referendum against a certain style of architecture, the entire planet rushes to condemn the “xenophobic”, “racist”, “violently anti-immigrant” Swiss people! 🙄

            See the despicable double standards and hypocrisy of the Third World hordes? What explains this difference in behaviour? The hordes of the Third World would immediately trot out excuses of how they were colonised (conveniently forgetting that the shameless, hypocritical Third World hordes themselves are the most notorious colonists in the 21st century) and exploited centuries ago. How can that ever be responsible for a senseless, barbaric, cold-blooded massacre in the year 2010?

            Whether we like it or not, my friend, we have to accept the painful truth that there is a HUGE ethical and civilisational gap between the “cultures” of the civilised world and the uncouth world. It’s got nothing to do with past colonialism. Think of it, Japan was literally turned into a heap of smouldering radiation-affected rubble as it was occupied at the end of WW II. The Germans faced a similar fate, with their cities being flattened and burnt to the ground by firebombs and their land cut up into four pieces and occupied by the marauding hordes of an unholy capitalo-communist “Alliance”. At around the same time, many Third World countries became “free” and they weren’t exactly left in rubble as Japan and Germany were.

            Yet, despite the pitiable state they were left in at the end of WW II, all it took was a period of barely two decades for these two countries to rise to the top level of world civilisation again. Then what prevented (and is still preventing) the uncouth countries from doing so?

            The answer lies in their “cultures”. Filled with primitive, regressive crap and uncouth concepts, the shameless, hypocritical Third World countries don’t quite have it in their “cultures”, just as yet.

            I keep repeating this because, at the rate at which vested interests are “Third Worldising” the civilised societies (coupled with demographics), there may not be any distinction between the two in a few years time. That would be a real tragedy not just for the First World, but for the entire world as the human civilisational clock would be set back by several decades 😦

            Hehehe… I hope you now understand (perhaps you would agree) on why I believe I’m an undesirable 😉


            • dave paquiot Says:

              Hey Raj,

              Thanks for your post. What shocked me was neither
              what you said or how you said it or the far reaching
              implications of your words. You have said this many
              times before with quite a lot of passion. What shocked
              me was the difference of experience of life between you and I
              as evidenced by your choice of words.

              This has nothing to do with praising so and
              culture or practices etc. I was curious as to what makes
              you speak so passionately about this subject so frequently.
              I neither agreed or disagreed with your opinions. Hence the statement:

              ” I often read your words and have wonder what causes you to
              speak out so frequently and forcible about this, what has made you so angry?”

              The quote I put I thought you would find interesting because, it
              shows a common human behavior in two different cultural
              contexts. There was nothing more to this just like the other
              story I mentioned with western doctors attending a lecture on
              blood treatments, decrying on one hand superstitious beliefs
              while on the other admitting they all knew there zodiac sign
              but not their own blood type. Actually I found it funny and figured a laugh could do us all well.

              To me because a human being-the functional unit of society- is at times uncouth, and barbaric, ignorant etc, society (the collection and organization of human beings) is so also whether it is Eastern and or Western. In the same way as a 100ml of sea watertaken from the pacific shares all of the propeties of the pacific sea water i.e salinity, pH, density specific heat etc though of course 100ml isnt comparable to the ocean in terms of size and force and awesome power.

              What is ‘shocking’/’amazing’ for me is to see that we all have our experiences, opinions judgements and they form the basis of our own perceived reality.

              All our ‘realities’ exist side by aside, and though they apparently appear different, in my experiences on the path, they really are not, they are all only a facet of something
              infinitely faceted. Sometimes this experience of the inherent unity of things, is quite shocking. Similar to knowing how a diamond and a lump of coal are both composed exclusively
              of the same element but outwardly are quite different.

              • axinia Says:

                Dave, the “a diamond and a lump of coal”metaphor is eternally wise! 🙂 beautiful contribution, as ever!
                I love the way you love Raj…it is simple to feel love towards someone who is comfrotable, sweet, nice…everybody can do it.
                But try to love someone who is so different, expressing opposite view and living in a “different reality”…that only saints can. THANK YOU for being here, Dave!

                • Dave Paquiot Says:


                  Thanks should go to for you creating a place
                  where all of us can feel free to converse
                  openly no matter our opinion or beliefs.

                  I remember being told that, what we are looking for
                  is looking which at times has meant to me that some
                  where buried in how each of us sees things is a tailor
                  made path to the truth. The relative and the absolute, the
                  finite and the infinite are in this mutual embrace as Mevlani
                  says. Speaking of Mevlani here is a poem from him that is possibly
                  apropos to this conversation of how each of our realties
                  is part and parcel of the one.

                  It’s rigged — everything, in your favor.
                  So there is nothing to worry about.

                  Is there some position you want,
                  some office, some acclaim, some award, some con, some lover,
                  maybe two, maybe three, maybe four — all at once,

                  maybe a relationship

                  I know there is a gold mine in you, when you find it
                  the wonderment of the earth’s gifts
                  you will lay aside
                  as naturally as does
                  a child a

                  But, dear, how sweet you look to me kissing the unreal:
                  comfort, fulfill yourself,
                  in any way possible — do that until
                  you ache, until you ache,

                  then come to me

            • mirel Says:

              How inadequate are the labels, generalizations and cultural assertions.
              there are closer ties between apparently warring civilizations than most of us would like to believe. the name of the game in the 21st century is interdependence:

              primitive passions and sophisticated know-how converge in ways that give the lie to a fortified boundary not only between “West” and ‘Third World hordes’ but also between past and present, us and them, to say nothing of the very concepts of identity and nationality about which there is unending disagreement and debate.

              internal dynamics and plurality of every civilization, or for the fact that the major contest in most modern cultures concerns the definition or interpretation of each culture, or for the unattractive possibility that a great deal of demagogy and downright ignorance is involved in presuming to speak for a whole religion or civilization

              as with any history of a complex experience that involved many actors, the worst thing – even in the name of critical impartiality – is to empty that history of its existential residue in the present: a dangerous temptation especially in writing about the legacy of empire, which sits like a menacing cancer just beneath the skin of our contemporary lives.”

  12. Perhaps, one reason why this attempt didn’t click, Axinia, is because you tried to combine modern Western progressive scientific methods (in psychology) with primitive sub-continental regressive superstitious blind beliefs.

    The two are so diametrically opposed to each other, that they simply cannot gel together 😐

    Primitive uncouth crap such as “previous births’ karma” have no place in progressive civilised scientific studies. If they somehow get involved, the result would veer off the scientific methods and end up in the realms of pseudo-science.


    • axinia Says:

      “The two are so diametrically opposed to each other, that they simply cannot gel together”
      -they can and they will, Raj, this is the law of Evolution!

  13. mahesh chendake Says:

    I have voted for flow and suffering
    one thing is true that realities may change time to time as you become mature and old. I am repetedly telling that all the things are depend on your belifs, attitutde and perception.

    It is not necessory that If i have suffered let other should suffer and I enjoy their suffering though it may be reality of majors. I should try to change reality through my conscious mind and should decide let other should not suffer but funny thing is that the other person may not percive as the way i percive so always sufferings are different, attitdes are different and reactions are also different from each person.

    I agree with allen ,results of west can not be compair with east because belifs, atttitude,perceptions,sufferings are different so reactions to situations will be definetly different. both are playing ” Battle of Survival” with their own way. basically facts / Even in educated people chances of karmas are more popullar in india because huge popullation and less resourses and uncertanity. those who get they fill lucky and follow those belifs ( e.g.belifs in Indian cricketer as the play is more uncerten even tendulkar?). and thats why In India there is Abig bussiness of false gurus and blind belifs, people do not understand where they have crossed line between belifs and false belifs and they just go on following blindly.

    Another thing is people wants more with less or no efforts and they are in search of those things who will give them such possiblities. and to get that they may come down to cruialty. There their education ,civilzation ,culture, haritage , history do not work.they lost humanity,sence of resposibility its effect on future they dont consider. They just become mad of it.and do it. It is a human nature which is more unpredictable, I belive less on training will change it. change is only possible when it will come from within ,with their own and not imposed, and hunger within ourseves for that will take us their or on that change. we have to wet till that date.

    Change imposed from outside will not be permanant.they will behave in same pattern as they want and suffer and other will also suffer from that even though not involved. so belive or not belive you are the part and parcel of such leaving and suffering . How I try to protect myself just by witnessing and accepting as it is but not following I follow what I want to be and which i feel true and real . Thanks to mother, what a nice path she has given . Just follow it and enjoy the life’s happening as it is .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s