1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Self-control July 3, 2009

In everyday life it is most necessary to have control over speech and action, for one may automatically give way to a word, prompted by an inner impulse; afterwards one finds that one should not have said it, or perhaps one should have said it differently. It is the same with action. One feels, ‘I should not have done so’, after having done something; or one thinks, ‘I should have done differently’; but once it is done it is too late to do it otherwise. In human nature there is an inner urge to express oneself; and that urge pushes a word out of one, so to speak, before one has really thought of it; and all this shows lack of control over oneself.

It is also a sign of nervousness. Very often a person tries to answer somebody who has not yet finished speaking; before a sentence is completed the answer is given. Such an answer given to an incomplete idea is often wrong. What generally happens in such cases is that one takes all that comes from outside in life too much to heart, and allows these outer things and influences to penetrate one more deeply than they should. In this way one becomes sensitive, and out of this arises nervousness.

In order to practice self-control in all one does in everyday life, the best thing is to develop in one’s nature a certain amount of indifference. Every word that is said to one need not be taken to be so important that it upsets one’s whole being, disturbs one’s balance, and robs one of one’s will-power. There are things that matter; but there are many things in one’s everyday life which do not matter much, and one is often apt to put undue stress upon them.

Hazrat Inayath Khan (1882-1927), Sufi Saint

(image by me)


9 Responses to “Self-control”

  1. volodimir108 Says:

    a good advice, I hope people will not understand it in the wrong way. “to be indifferent” may sound strange.

  2. dinesh Says:

    would you like to wish me 🙂 goto my blog 🙂

  3. swaps Says:

    “..the best thing is to develop in one’s nature a certain amount of indifference”

    I have found that when we are focussed on a goal, it is much easier to ignore trivial things. Because we are pursuing success and nothing else -detractor, nay-sayers, matters. Sometimes strength is actually self control.

  4. karen Says:

    That verse was very helpful to read. Due to an emotionally abusive childhood, I fall under the category of being easily offended. When in conversation I’m hyper-vigilant to being offended, or offending. It’s a sad tightrope to walk. Just the other day something happened that has been causing undue anger and resentment. I brought my Chihuahua puppy to the dog park and an outwardly pushy and rambuctious woman picked up my puppy and wouldn’t put her down until SHE felt like putting her down. She even said “Your mom wants me to put you down, but I’m not ready to!” Since I’m a new dog owner, and didn’t really know her I was caught off guard as to how to react. Since then, I’ve been trying to get over my anger and rage at having been “offended.” The truth of the matter is, my puppy actually enjoyed the attention, but I was furious. Getting over this personality affliction is a life long process.

    • axinia Says:

      thank you Karen for sharing our experience, it is great that you are at least aware of that! – I guess many people are not, unfortunately and that causes many troubles for others…
      I wish you much luck on the self-improvement way 🙂

    • Ldinka_108 Says:

      it seems that you posses very rare quality – you are highly self-aware person. It is wonderful quality which gives you keys from UNLIMITED possibilities. on that state of self awareness that you have got into now, it depends only on YOU what you do about it.
      i’m a dog person and can tell you something about your puppy situation. being newbie puppy owner it is normal to be over-protected and uncomfortable when other people are so attentive – almost like being first-time parent. puppies are natural soothing stress-relief remedies, it is why many people are so attracted to them. problem arose when you felt threatened that woman was crossing your boundaries.
      to me it seems that you are emotionally attached to the past – who could blame you after you mentioned emotional traumas. and, as you mentioned, it laid out the roots of the emotional problems which, seems, bother you until now. but there is a wonderful remedy for that which REALLY can help you to heal it. the most beautiful part of it is that it is very natural process and absolutely free of any charge. try it and see if it works for you:
      good luck with everything, and enjoy your new puppy. they are adorable 🙂

  5. Dmitri Says:

    great advise…i have to translate to my friend…it speaks exactly to him….he get so disturbed by what people say nd takes to heart…i cant say he is much sesnsative…its just make him thing and every litlle thing sends him in several directions of thibking…it gets to a point that he doesn’t fell hes home…he doesnt feel he is at home when he is in hes house…i ssujessed him to put ice on the liver…is that right?…he puts up a fight!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s