1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

If I want to become better it is not because I am not good enough May 8, 2009

 (image by me)

There is a widespread pop-psychological idea that people want to transform/develop themselves psychologically or physically because they feel they are not good enough (apparently because of the society pressure). I guess this idea has some Freudian background.  Whatever it it, I personally find it a stupid supposition, that lacks the deeper understanding of a human nature.

The urge to becomme a better person is being percepted in the West as the lack of love to oneself.The mainstream psychology bestsellers preach “to love oneself” -meaning we should except ourselves as we are and just be happy. Sounds nice, no doubt! However it completely excludes the main stimulation of a human evolution – an urge to self-improvement, the joy of becoming a better person!

Since I remember myself, I always wanted to improve and become a better person. At the same time I have always been  a satisfied and happy person. Where is the logic? Why this?

My supposition is that the self-improvement urge is something natural, moreover i is a  must for every human being. And to see a psychological disorder (“I am not good enough that is why I want to improve”) in it is just strange…

And what would YOU say?


LOVE, axinia


18 Responses to “If I want to become better it is not because I am not good enough”

  1. soulstirrer Says:

    I totally agree with you that self improvement is a natural thing infact I would say that it is necessary for a successful life. We all know that nobody is perfect but what we all want .. a good approximation of perfection in our lives….

    Thumbs up 🙂

  2. The urge to becomme a better person is being percepted in the West as the lack of love to oneself.

    I find that strange, Axinia. From my understanding, people in the West really want to become better persons. That gets reflected in society, when entire societies want to learn from their mistakes and become better, and they usually do.

    Sadly, such a feeling is sorely lacking in the non-West, both at the individual level and that of the society. People simply don’t want to become better, they are glad with ignorance and a mediaeval mindset. That’s why such societies and people have a primitive mindset and more often than not, are involved in a race to the bottom.

    • axinia Says:

      Raj, that is good observation! Indeed, the urge to self-improvement seem to be stronger in the West.

      But I think for some groups it is not desirable that people develope thmeselves and the society. It is much easier to keep a nation as a band of idiots ready to digest any manipulative information.

      • I agree with you, Axinia. The reason for the West’s advance is that most of it is a free society with people being concerned about self-improvement as the basic block of the improvement of society.

        That is the only way it works, a bottom-up model where the individual is the basic building block, a group of which forms the next level – the family, a group of which forms the next level – the neighbourhood, a group of which forms the next level – the village/town/city, a group of which forms the next level – the state/province, a group of which forms the next level – the country, a group of which forms the next level – a continental block like the EU. This is the First World model where every individual’s self-improvement and well-being is important to the society.

        In contrast, with the now defunct Second World model, where a cabal decide everything for the society and force it down everyone’s throats by coercion and force, or the filthy Third World model, a disgusting free-for-all where “laws of the jungle” like “might (wealth and power) is right”, “survival of the fittest (wealthiest and most powerful)” coupled with the exploitation of everyone else shows that improvement and change (for the better) are not things that are on the average Third Worlder’s mind. There are things that never change (for the better), so the natural outcome is for them to rot and decay.

        The unfortunate thing is that instead of bringing up the Third World to First World standards, the crooks who control the First World are determined to bring the First World down to the lowly standards of the Third World. The “global economic downturn” is one such move with some small parts of the First World already down to Third World standards – the mushrooming tent cities in the USA co-existing with billionaires who get trillion-dollar bailouts are a prime example. It’s nothing but a milder form of the filthy logic that characterises the most backward parts of the world – “one billionaire surrounded by one hundred million poor”.

        However, the crooks who control the First World are underestimating the will of the First Worlders – once a person gets a mindset where self-improvement and the well-being of all is important, it remains etched in the mind forever. There will definitely be major upheavals if the crooks try to bring down the First World to Third World standards, that’s why they are doing it very slowly and surreptitiously 😡

  3. swaps Says:

    Would you believe this, once my sister told me about a girl who thought she was not attractive enough and commits suicide. (Actually, she was anything but unattractive).

    Peer and media pressure is so strong these days, the world is choked with stereotypes. People forget that beauty is in diversity…everyone must preserve his self. Life becomes stressful as we strain to catch up some illusion.

    If we appreciate multiple intelligence theory, this pitfall can be avoided.

    • axinia Says:

      you are right, the world is lost in too high standards of physicla beauty and lack of bahaviour standards in the daily life…alas!

  4. tatushka55 Says:

    I think everybody wants to improve themselves in this or that field, but this doesn’t mean that they are not good enough.

    There are a lot of thinhs in which I want to become better 🙂
    But I feel myself rather satisfactory 🙂

  5. Ldinka_108 Says:

    I think that self-improvement starts from accepting (=loving) oneself. And love to oneself is very strong and successful (!!!) motivation to improve oneself. I mean by love not the selfishness, but seeing oneself as God’s lovely creation… And than when one accepts him/her self the way he/she is, than he/she might see the PURPOSE of being created that way, all the strengths and benefits; and the weaknesses which lay ahead as lessons to work out…

  6. soulstirrer Says:

    @Ldinka_108.. Very well said

  7. Maybe they could have meant that the first step to change and improvement lies in accepting the factors in which we are not good? Sometimes, it is important for us to feel humble in order to accept that we are not perfect and hence start learning something towards improvement. If we keep thinking that we are already perfect and there is nothing that we do not know, we stop learning.

    Destination Infinity

    • axinia Says:

      DI, what I feel is the following:

      A human being is like a sun, beautiful and perfect. But then…there are some clouds that cover it a bit, sometimes more sometimes less…the person is perfect anyways but it is the cloudn that do not let the shine throught…keeping that in min it is easy to understand one’s position.

  8. Anand Says:

    Nice article. Very novel yet simple and logical way of looking at the matter.

  9. Fatima Says:

    Oh Axinia, you inspire me to be such a better person. I’ll do my best!

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