1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Want to be a boss? August 19, 2008

 image by axinia

How many people dream of being a boss? Nobody knows, but I guess many. Such applications as status, respect, money are pretty attractive.

I am convinced that being a boss is a challenge not for everyone and actually not at all that attractive! What I see around is that people in charge (in business or politics) are in fact much poorer off than “normal people”.

Here are some good reasons taken from personal experience and HR books:

 – a boss is an object of critics and rumors (starting from dress or hairstyle till family life and hobbies – everything is under the magnifier)

a boss is a stressful and dangerous job (whoever failed, the boss is the one who is responsible)

a boss has normally no weekends and celebrations – any time anything can happen and he/she has to be available

– a boss has a difficulty to settle a private life: Statistics say, only one of 10 dinners of a boss is private), those who have families make the families suffer because of the lack of attention. Then one gets easier affected by sexual disorders.

– a boss can not change his /her job easily. There are not so many open positions up there, and to step down is not for everyone too.

– whatever a (good) boss does, there will be always unhappy souls. No matter how many goodies he/she delivers, only one strict measure and the whole charm is gone…That is unfair! – but that`s life.

– a boss can not have friends at work,  a friend of a boss may be seen as a careerist or yes-man; on the other hand, it is hard to be strict with the friend for the boss himself/herself.

There are surely some other points, but in general, I would say I am very tolerant and patient to people keeping high positions because they have a challenge “normal” people do not have and  – honestly – how many of us want to have such a life??

LOVE, axinia


15 Responses to “Want to be a boss?”

  1. swaps Says:

    I want. Suits me for the very reasons you’ve listed.

    “a boss is an object of critics and rumors ”
    They say, “A leader is one who turns his back on people”.

    ” a boss can not have friends at work”
    …how true.
    My boss is also my friend and he doesn’t order me, only suggests I do something (sometimes I listen 🙂

    Good post Axinia.

  2. axinia Says:

    you critise the post right and left and say it`s a good post??? 🙂

    Being a boss is really not everyone business. Many people want because they don`t know the shadow side of it. But if you know and still want – you are born to be a boss! :))
    In the case of your frienship with your boss, it is because the company is small, I guess. I heard of stories where realtionships changed because of the company`s growth… hope will not be your case! (or by that time you will be a boss yourself).

    btw, anotehr good question would be – what makes a boss?

  3. pria Says:

    What makes a boss?

    A good leadership and teamwork …

  4. axinia Says:

    good say, but the good leadership is something which is difficult to define (everyone sees it differently).

  5. katharina Says:

    Among other things: caring for her / his people in the way that
    -) they are able to get out the best of them (everyone has different strenghts and focuses in his personality which are helpful for his / her job)
    -) being forgiving and at the same time see where people lack to cover their responsibilities (a bit like a professional father or mother maybe.. 🙂 )
    and so on…..
    If the boss wants to be good he also needs to be communicative and networking among his team. These are only a few points – I think I never want to have the responsibility of a boss or a leader!!! :-))

  6. axinia Says:

    “professional father or mother” SOUNDS GREAT!!!!
    love your comment, thanks!

  7. wortman Says:

    axinia, need your help again 🙂
    what means “Da, mne nravitsa”?
    can you also write an answer in russian, so i can copy it? 🙂

  8. axinia Says:

    Dear wortman,
    always happy to help you! 🙂 unfortunately it is not always possbile for me to write in Russian (because of the typing problem) and also of my limited time…

    “Da, mne nravitsa” – means “yes, I like it”.
    I suggest using Google Tranlstor – it is wasy and fast, although not that perfect as human translation:

    Good Luck!

  9. wortman Says:

    sorry, i forget it 😉
    thanks for the link. i will test the translator.

  10. Bad Karma Says:

    Why are companies structured to have bosses anyway? We’re all peers. There are some peers we look up to, we *respect* them, and ask them for advice\mentorship. It’s like in academia – your professor is not your boss, but he does lead you and affect your work.

    Many companies are structured in a military fashion – a pyramid. Orders are given top down. Everyone has a title. Is this the way it should be if we were to redesign it from scratch?

  11. axinia Says:

    Bad Karma,
    I too like the idea of a flat management with some “mentors”. For me it is absolutely crucial that I respect the boss tha find him more intrelligent and knowledgable than myself. I need to “look up” to some extennd – I guess the reason is the hope for my personal growth and development, some perspective…:)

  12. That’s right, Axina. We need to have some one to look up to, to listen to, to learn from, and to follow and believe that they know the secrets that we don’t. But more often than not, the truth is not anywhere close to that. But even if the situation is totally different, we end up learing a lot. Experience is some thing no one can steal from us!

    But I really with that companies and bosses were more forward looking – willing to learn and share and grow as a team.

    Destination Infinity

  13. axinia Says:

    learn and share is the key!

  14. Scietech Says:

    Great post, Axinia!

    A good leader (not necessarily a boss) is someone who publicly credits his/her team members for successes and publicly accepts responsibility for failures as a leader.

    Another good quality of a boss is that (s)he must know the strengths and weaknesses of each of his/her team members and get the best out of them. A good boss is someone who is capable of making work enjoyable for everyone. Sometime ago, I had a boss who who did precisely this. He knew that different people were different and he made sure that each one was able to concentrate on tasks that brought out the strengths of each individual.

    Now, in our small organisation, there are no bosses and no subordinates. We don’t follow ridiculous management practices that belong to the Stone Age as self-contradictory top-down structures are highly unstable and are bound to collapse at any time. Each one is a leader in his/her own right who knows what (s)he has to do. We call it the network structure.

  15. I had my own company for 6 years. Being a boss is strenuous and stressful, although I must say my company was a small company and I had great staff.

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