1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Russian alternative to Valentine`s day – 8 Juli July 8, 2008

image: mail.ru

Russia is undertaking another wise step in revival its former values by establishing a new annual celebraiton – THE DAY OF LOVE, FAMILY AND FAITHFULNESS on 8 July. It sounds like a beautiful alternative to the famous Valentine`s Day to me. A celebration of a happy marriage filled with love and faithulness looks much more attractive than the one of the romantic “falling in love” (which mostly ends up unfortunate).

The idea of establishing the Day of Love on 8 July was born in Murom, a rich on traditions old Russian town where the Holy Spouses Prince Pyotr and Princess Fevronia has been celebrated since the Tsar times . The wife of the Russian President, Svetlana Medvedevahas now taken the patronage over the celebration. Upon her initiative, the symbol of the new annual Day of Love will be a daisy flower. The next year the celebration may get a status of an official Russian holiday.

I believe that a sound family is crucial for any society. Was it Lenin who said ” A family is a cell of society” ( I wonder if this phrase is known in the West)? It is quite obvious from what I see around that the people from broken homes have more difficulties with creating a happy family life themselves. Not only that – I see so many young and not any more that young people in Europe who are generally afraid of any long-time relationships (there is a special word for that in German “Bindungsangst”).  I find it very sad. People are looking for love, but they are afraid of that! They want the warmth of a close relationship, but they don`t know how to give this love and how to enjoy it 😦 The single-life is being propagated as the coolest life style (!).

I believe that there are things that we “owe” to our country, to the society, to the Earth finally. If everyone will lead a carefree and unhappy single life – who will give birth to the new generation? Who will bring up the children? Who will sustain and bring forwards the human race? If we look at our lives – how much did we get from the outside world? I would say – much! I guess most of my readers have got a family, education and a good job. Why not give something back – something more than the discussions about how bad everything is…

I believe that a single happy family can give a lot to the society. A family is a great power if it is based on Mutual Love and Faithfulness, Philanthropy towards family and society, Empathy and Concern for the common good. People love to have happy friends, happy colleagues. A single happy couple in love radiates so much positive energy and joy! Imagine if we will have many?

I believe we will.

I believe.


LOVE, axinia


39 Responses to “Russian alternative to Valentine`s day – 8 Juli”

  1. Michael Says:

    WOaaaa – is it really so cold in russia on the 8th of July that there is so much snow. As long you are so much in Love as the 2 of the picture you will always be warm, 🙂 Michael

  2. axinia Says:

    🙂 First I wanted to use a summer picture, but then I thought anyway people love to associate Russia with snow :)) Let them enjoy it this way…
    But I wonder what you actually think about the marriage/family as a cell of society?

  3. Bad Karma Says:

    Well, in the United States the government understands that families are good for society, and they encourage it by giving people incentive, in the form of tax breaks. So they’re making families – but how does one make happy families? It must start with the individual, who learns about spirituality and meditation.

  4. Lovely post, Axinia! While what Lenin stated would have been censored in the West (only because Lenin was a socialist!), it may not be completely true. A family is a very, very important part of the society, that is true, but it is not a cell as such. A cell by definition, is a complete unit that cannot exist if it splits up. So it is the individual that must be called a cell of society. A family would be the next level – a group of cells harmoniously performing a function. In other words, a family is like a tissue that is composed of cells.

    // If everyone will lead a carefree and unhappy single life //

    I don’t know why you feel that a single life should be unhappy 😕 I understand what you mean by the word carefree, but the only people who are completely carefree are young children. But even they are being burdened with so many things now that they are being robbed of their childhood.

  5. axinia Says:

    very true, Bad Karma. Spirituality/the inner unfolding or development is the key to the true happieness – that much I know from my personal experience.

    Raj, there are lots of singles in Austria – and they what I can see they dont make an impression of happy people 🙂 – mostly reserved and often frustrated.

  6. Well, I guess if you look at singles (especially unmarried women) from a married person’s perspective, they may not seem to be happy. If you look at couples from a single’s (more specifically an unmarried guy’s) perspective, the couples (certainly not all but many of them) may not seem to be happy 🙂

    I agree with you that true spirituality is the key to true happiness. If a person can find true spirituality on his/her own, (s)he would be happy irrespective of marital status 🙂

  7. Nita Says:

    Axinia I too believe that true happiness for human beings can be found only in the long lasting union between two poeple and them nurturing a family. I guess I am a romantic at heart! Love is the first word in my dictionary. But to me love is something which lasts forever. I have been very lucky to find my soul mate and I found him when I was 18 years old. Luckily my husband too believes in the concept of ever lasting love.

  8. axinia Says:

    Nita, your words are soooooooo beautiful, thank you!
    I AGREE :)my husband and me – we see it exactly the same.

  9. Swaps Says:

    Axinia, do you know about “Bindungsangst” elephants. When a elephant gets separated from its group, it eventually goes man and turns extremely violent. But one such elephant found company in human beings…here is the story: http://www.hindu.com/2008/06/21/stories/2008062156552000.htm
    (This paricular one is very cute too).

    (and, yhe new avatar is more like you 🙂

  10. Swaps Says:

    Correction: “…it eventually goes MAD”

  11. axinia Says:

    that is a sweet story but what was the message? 🙂

    to my new avatar: you say it is more like me now. But you have never met me!!! how do you know??

  12. Swaps Says:

    How thoughtless of me…should have wished:


  13. Swaps Says:

    “..But you have never met me!!! how do you know??”
    (I expected this 🙂

    What I meant is the new one is simple and down-to-earth – that’s the impression I get reading your posts. (The previous one was that heavily made-up).

    The elephant story had no message – except that emotional security is a very basic need.

    In fact, elephants resemble very closely with humans in their filial attachments. E.g mothers dot on their sons even after they are adults, uncles and grandfathers strongly influence behaviour of male babies, they even hold funeral, etc. But this is not directly related to Valentine’s day….perhaps each day is a Valentine’s day for elephants)

  14. axinia Says:

    “(The previous one was that heavily made-up)” – that is actually my normal look 🙂 I love to dres up and to make myself up! 🙂
    The photo for the present avatar was taken on the weekend -casual style – and this is not really typical for me, sorry to dissapoint you…
    Anyway thanks, it is nice that you think I am so down-to-earth. I am happy I dont appear that arrogant as my look does 🙂

  15. Anna Maria Löw Says:

    These Russians – they always want to go their own way 🙂
    good article!

  16. sunshine Says:

    hi axinia, good morning from the Philippines!
    sending you so love today here: http://sunshineforlife.wordpress.com/2008/07/09/so-sweet/

    thanks for sharing about this unique holiday in Russia! it’s very informative.

  17. They are all beautifully written posts, Axinia. I don’t have much to say on them because I am unmarried.

    I guess most of the people you have talked to must be unmarried women. Women get much more out of marriage than men. That is how it should be, because it compensates for the advantages nature gave to men.

    I have always believed that women control the world indirectly 🙂 They always have. That is why the population of the world keeps increasing. Please forgive me if I sound impolite but procreation is a task that nature has given to women. Not just with respect to humans, but in every higher animal, the task of sustaining and increasing the species is given to females. The task of males is just to ensure that the species becomes genetically stronger through natural selection.

    Marriage as an institution must have been invented by women, I am sure 🙂 Of all the people that I have listened to, women (both married and unmarried) have spoken strongly in favour of marriage 🙂 (except a very few who have had a bad marriage). And only two men (one married and one unmarried) have spoken in similar terms. I don’t know if it is a cultural thing or not but I guess it must be the same all over the world 🙂

  18. axinia Says:

    Raj, your arguments are fine 🙂 It is true, a woman is a sustainer.
    And men mostly do not want to mary that much as women. BUT – only if they do not meet their soulmate. In the case you do meet your “shakti” – the woman that gives yout something very special, the powers, the inspiration, all that…that you will want to marry her. I am sure 🙂

    And btw. – the marriage was not invented my women. IT IS DIVINE.

  19. I guess I will want to marry such a woman if I meet her 🙂 but I don’t know 😐

  20. axinia Says:

    you will know as soon as you meet – mostly the men know immediately. somehow.

    What I also noticed – yes, a woman may need the marriage itself more than a man. But a man need a woman as such much more :)Because she gives him powers.

  21. Nita Says:

    It is my belief that men do not know that they need women as much as the women need men. Men need women for different reasons and I think one of the reasons is that women are very strong and there I agree with you Axinia. As society accepts unmarried men more easily than women (at least in India)men tend to lead a carefree life and seem to enjoy. They do enjoy, until they are say 40 or so and then they need women very badly for emotional sustenance. They feel lonely, more lonely than single women and one of the reasons is because women tend to bond more easily with others of their own sex. I had two uncles and a cousin who never married and am saying this from my observation of them.
    On the other hand women would also lead that carefree life if society allowed her.
    I have seen men shattered with the death of their wife, totally broken.

  22. Axinia,

    A woman surely needs marriage more than a man does because it gives her the much needed emotional comfort and strength during pregnancy that can only be provided by the father of the child she is carrying. I don’t know what you mean by powers that a woman gives a man. I guess you are referring to the fact that a woman turns a man’s destructive tendencies into a constructive one (that of constructing children 🙂 ) by marrying him. Again, I sincerely apologise to women if I sound impolite.


    // As society accepts unmarried men more easily than women (at least in India)men tend to lead a carefree life and seem to enjoy //

    I don’t know why married persons(especially women) think that unmarried persons(especially men) lead a carefree life. Surely, caring for children can only be one of the cares in this world, though it takes top priority for women thanks to their maternal instincts 🙂

    Also, it is a common saying that while married men live longer, unmarried men are happier 🙂 though it may not be completely true.

  23. Swaps Says:



  24. axinia Says:

    Swaps, honestly – what about this saying: “behind every great man stands a greater woman”? – is it simply the fact 🙂 Preveints form acheiving? apperently mostly of the businessmen beceme successful because thier wifes are after them :))

    Nita, love your words and observation, it is so true! regarding cafree women: the society in the West allows them to lead a carfree life, any many do. But when it gets towards 35 /40 they are same unhappy and frustrated as the unmarried men..

  25. Swaps Says:

    “behind every great man stands a greater woman, AND behind her his wife….chasing them both” 🙂

  26. axinia Says:

    Swaps, that may sound smart but it is simply not true.

  27. Swaps Says:

    I thought it was funny. Sometimes you take things too seriously, Axinia.

    Let’s get smart then? I was thinking what prompted Leo Tolstoy to say “Love is the biggest enemy of ambition” (in ‘Anna Karenina’). I believe the greatest woman is one who can infuse enough courage in a man to turn his back on the world (I am talking of Rachel Jackson).

    I think it is not right to evaluate some relationships in terms of whether they are materialistically favourable or not. (I am sure you will agree?).

    (Have you notice, this post was more appropriate for ‘shaktipower’?)

  28. Nita Says:

    Axinia, I agree exactly 🙂 A woman does give strength to a man and I believe women are mentally stronger than men. A very broad generalisation, with many exceptions so do forgive me for it!

    Raj, I am not sure about women having a stronger maternal instinct than men having a paternal instinct. I think it seems so because society expects women to have this instinct. I know a lot of men who desire strongly to have children, and they prefer marriage as it gives security to the kids and a name for their children. I have many men in my family who love children and spend time with them, even more so than the women! I also know an equal number of women and men who are not interested in children and have them for the sake of having them.

    However I have diverted from the main issue, which at least for me is love and companionship in a marraige which as Axinia pointed out, both sexes need equally. And both thrive if they find it.

  29. axinia Says:

    @Swaps – i sould admit I did not quite get your last comment…
    I see you are reading a lot, which is good.
    But it is even better to make own experienced, right? I am married for the second time and I also sufferd a lot at a certain point – that made me mature and that made me understand what is the value of a marriage, what is true love, and what is actually important… I learned from my experiences, and not from books. And finally I dont care who said what, even if it was Leo Tolstoy 🙂 Things that are heart-realted can not be learned und understood mentally. no need even to discuss.

    @Nita, thanks again – your points are wonderful! The most thing I love about them is that they all life-related. Wise observations and a deep conclusion.

  30. Raghav Says:

    I am really not big on this single thing. I have seen the state of the middle aged men who live single in Germany. Many of them go crazy as you find many a time men speaking to themselves on the street. Nita put it rightly in my view about men needing women more.

    Sometimes, the so independent lifestyle of the west appears threatening to me as it often crosses limits n results into separations and further broken ppl n scrambled minds.

    As for me, a mother is the soul of the family and father is the body. May god bless ppl with watever might be best for them.

  31. swaps Says:

    Yeah my last comment is very incoherent…even I cann’t make sense of it 🙂

    What I meant is this : I agree happy close-knit families build happpy strong nations. But happiness itself is made of domestic bliss and success in career. And sometimes the two can be odds. But this argument is totally out of context and in no way negates the importance of family.

    The other ‘issue’ was of love vs ambition. I want to reserve my ammunition for your post on love that you promised a long time ago (was it in ‘shaktipower’).

    (Axinia, I know you are very mature (I have long suspected it was hard-earned)
    …that is why I like to duel with you. Usually it leads to some flash of wisdom 🙂

  32. axinia Says:

    @Raghav, that was very beutifully said, especiial the wish for everyone to ge the best suitable.thanks!

    @swaps, again I read something from you that makes me wonder a lot:)

    you say “But happiness itself is made of domestic bliss and success in career.” – never heard of this recepy of happiness!!! Somehow I was alsways sure that happiness does not depend on the outer curcumstances, it is the inner state of being. Either you are a happy person in general or not. No amount of money, work, family life or whatever else will make you happy. Happiness does not come – IT IS just there. or not 🙂

  33. Swaps Says:

    Axinia, I am not mature enough tot realize happiness as a state of being(I’ve heard even sages preach so). Right now I like to think I can acquire happinees….this illusion is simple and beautiful 🙂

  34. Nita,

    Unfortunately, women have the impression that men either love children or they dislike them. I like babies because they are so cute but I don’t touch them because they are so delicate. I like playing with young children because it reminds me of the carefree time I had when I was a child. When I play with a child, I think of myself as a child 🙂 I don’t think it is because of a strong paternal instinct 🙂

    I agree that many women and men have children just for the sake of having them and that both sexes need love and companionship in a marriage. Marriage cannot be a one way street.

    Broadly speaking, men can tolerate loneliness to a far greater extent than women 🙂 Think of all the people who have been marooned on remote islands – they have all been men who have managed to live a very, very lonely life for a long time till they were rescued. I guess a woman marooned on a remote island will find it very difficult to survive because of the loneliness 🙂

  35. Axinia,

    // who will give birth to the new generation? Who will bring up the children? Who will sustain and bring forwards the human race? //

    That is one way of looking at it. The other way would be for every woman and man to ask themselves before becoming parents – does the child want to be born or conceived at all? A child may be made up of the genes of a man and a woman but he/she is an individual in his/her own right. Parents may believe that they are “gifting” life to a child but that may not be the case. If everyone asks such questions of themselves before deciding to become parents, the world would be a much better place. I apologise if I sound impolite in any way, but it is just another way of thinking.

  36. axinia Says:

    Dear Raj, there is a simple answer to your question: if a child does not want to be born, he/she will simply not be born. What do you think is the actually reason why babies sometimes get bord dead? Or the case of abortion? OR – the most clear case – infirtility? Lokking a the life-style and self-indulgence of the adults in the West I am not surprised that many can nto get childred afterwards.

    I can tell you honestly that I do not want to get children for the sake of having them. I want them because I know that my husband and me will be very good, loving and benevolent parents.

    I guess you are pointing out to the complete freedom – beleive me, the comple freedom does not exist and children who get much freedom really suffer after all – because we all need certain norms and limitations at some point. IT IS THE PART OF THE GAME 🙂

  37. Axinia, I know that both you and Volodimir will make very good and loving parents. And believe me, your children will be very, very lucky to have a wonderful mother like you!

    I agree with Swaps that sometimes you take things too seriously.

    And I agree that it is all a part of the game called life 😐

  38. radha Says:

    People who create and enjoy a longlife family relationship (Family as collective and essencial cell of this living world) are the wisest we can find. They always know the roots of each problem, they know how to take care of the others, they hold a naturally open minded, and their destiny is almost (delete almost) always enriching, fulfilled and helthy, bubbling with prosperity, understanding and human love which very often stretches towards higher levels of love. Briefly this is only my experience into my own family and into my own mind-projection of what a family is and should be. “I pray that all the world will be one family one day” (these words were also the welcoming message of my family to my husband when he was introduced to them). enjoy!

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