1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Why nobody can offend me January 10, 2008

photo by axinia

Can you believe that? That no one can offend me? That I never ever felt offended in my life? And that I live a normal human life on this planet Earth? Whether you believe me or not, it is the fact: the phenomenon of being offended is unknown to me.

I wrote something about my childhood experiences with that matter here, I mean I was aware of that thing long time ago. However only recently I could really understand the roots of this phenomenon – and that is the reason I want to share such a personal insight with the vast Internet community.

The results of my introspection are both funny and in a way controversial.

So what is the reason of me not getting offended on any negative statement/action to me? (here I have to admit that such things do not happen often, in fact extremely seldom  – or I do not notice, this also could be a reason).

Here we are:

1. Whatever bad could be claimed about me – I know I am much, much better than that. My ego is so big, that nothing can put it down :).

2.Looking deeply into myself I am very much aware of my strong and weak points (introspection and meditation is the key to understanding myself better and better). I am aware of things I am good at, or I am bad at. So there is no point in reacting at some silly statement if it is wrong.

3.In case of a criticism – I love it! Any time, in any amount. That is the best fuel for my personal development.

Taking offence is always one’s ego-trip. And the Mr. Ego is somebody we obviously can not live without. But it is only the matter of using him the right way!

LOVE, axinia


19 Responses to “Why nobody can offend me”

  1. Nita Says:

    Axinia, hats off to you for this! I guess I do get offended by certain things and I thought I had very little ego. But I guess I do because if I had no ego I would not get offended. But I always thought I had almost no ego because I easily admit I am wrong…and generally make the first move if there is tension in any relationship even if I feel I am not wrong.
    but the kind of ego that it a total lack of ego is a state I cannot achieve. It’s the kind of spiritual nirvana which is beyond me. But I certainly admire those who have it.

  2. axinia Says:

    Nita, that is a sweet compliment, but I did not say it is lack of ego it is a kind of over-ego in my case, i think. Not so easy to explaine, but i really tired…

    thanks for sharing this exprience, you seem to be a very pleasant person!

  3. “Mr.Ego is somebody we obviously cannot live without. But it is only the matter of using him the right way” – Excellent words penned there.

    But there are certain situations where someone doesnt want to offend us, but just want to please us (or himself) which seem to offend us. We realize this only long after. This was a nice article.

    Destination Infinity.

  4. leo Says:

    Oh, this Mr. Ego!

    One game he likes to play often is “I am not there…..”

  5. axinia Says:

    oh, how true is it, leo!…. This Mr. Ego is really a Master ;))

  6. Raman Says:

    I don’t get offended, but I get hurt very often – my parents have always said that I should try to do everything the way my heart tell me to and when I get chided for doing that, I get offended. As you rihtly pointed out, my ego is big too – but it really is useful and actually helps me. For example, I can’t really feel good abut not knowing something that someone on the other side of the table does. I make it a point to know, undertsand & try to excel at that.

    But this hurt thing stays with me – I approach everyone with a positive frame of mind and after that if they hurt me, it takes a lot to get me back on track with them. Will have to work on this.

  7. axinia Says:

    Interesting, Raman… have you read my post

    https://1000petals.wordpress.com/2007/05/23/what-to-do-with-easily-offended-people/ ?

    I tried to analisy the mechanism of this “getting hurt” and see what comes up… I wonder it you will also see it this way.

  8. […] I mentioned already in several posts, I have never had difficulties with forgiving anyone, that may be the reason why I love to write […]

  9. swaps Says:

    Yes, self-esteem is the best defense.
    But also,
    If ego suffers a dent, there are instant ego-healers viz friends, admirers…
    Or sometimes, one is just too busy to care. (And that is the best defense).

  10. axinia Says:

    The trick is – I dont care about the defense, it just works 🙂

  11. swaps Says:

    Okie dokie 🙂

  12. Raj Suhansa88 Says:

    Dear Axinia, Have you read the “I AM THAT” book on Sri Nisargatta Maharaj of Mumbai. This is comprehensive book on the realization of the Self. The Master has given new inroads to realise the “I AM” awareness principle. Pls say something and we could communicate in depth on this idea if you are interested.
    Thank you.

    Raj suhansa88

    • axinia Says:

      Dear Raj Suhansa88, thank you fro your intrest to this profound topic. I never ehard of this book and honestly, I am into books, I prefer ym persononal experiences… Please tell me what exactly the point you want to discuss.

  13. Raj suhansa88 Says:

    Thanks axinia for your lovely response.

    Our state of being alive is truth and any imagination of it is unreal. Our 5 senses are outward bound. Try to “see” the mind in silence and you will come face to face with this “awareness” which is not an experience. Experiences of pain and pleasure is the work of the mind on the basis on this “awareness”. During sleep; mind, body and environment evaporate. We now remember the sleep because of this continuity of “awareness”. So what we see, feel and experience are of the senses and not this “awareness”. Good Religionists have named this “awareness” as god, allah, kudha, christ and so forth. All these are words. This “experience” of “awareness” which is so simple to realise has been put through a belief system which has made believers impossible to achieve in this birth. Having that “awareness” in me now I am eager to share with any one to realise his/her state of reality. Love all…

    • axinia Says:

      thanks for the input. I think awareness is something which is very difficult to talk about, it should be expeirenced first..

      • Raj suhansa88 Says:

        Hearing you again. Thanks. I took to communicate in your column as I found good materials on the concept of belief, ego, awareness and so forth.

        When you realize the depth and fullness of your love of yourself, you know that every living being and the entire universe are included in your affection. But when you look at anything as separate from you, you cannot love it for you are afraid of it. That which you are, your self, you love it, and whatever you do, you do for your own happiness To find it, to know, to cherish it is our basic urge. But we miss it.. Why?

        Many (listening to the mind’s response) seems to avoid this practice of “looking” within saying time has not come and so forth; when in actual case it will assist in all our daily routines if understood as earlier in the life as possible.

        Usually people “pretend” that they love others as themselves and start to do selfless service and then expect donations for their works.

        A seer said that ” Your love for others is the result of self-knowledge, not its cause and when use your body and mind wisely in the service of the Self, that is all”; meaning knowing oneself is the first obligation before commening good works for others.

        Leaving this duty to churches, temples, mosques, ashramas and etc is a farce? Lots of good life has been stereotyped and hence become obsolete as result of the theoligists’ monopoly. It is easy but “seems” difficult, axinia!.

        Bye… Love all.

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