1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

My spiritual birthday today December 10, 2007

photo by axinia

On the 10th of December 1995 I got my self-realisation, my second birth. It was a day that changed my life. No, such a stupid expression. The experience of that day, unfolding every next day gave me the true meaning of my life.

As I mentioned in my earlier posts, I have always been a seeker. A seeker of Truth. I was born in an atheistic family and actually never believed in God. But I was seeking something – how many of you know that feeling!..

I was very much into psychology, astrology, theory of yoga and all that stuff, you know. But it gave me no answer. It was only theory, and I wanted something REAL. Some real, true experience. Some gulp of fresh waters…

The 10th of December 1995 was a very cold and snowy day in Voronezh, Russia. I knew I was going to get something I was looking for for ages. I was young but experienced. I was proud but willing. I was arrogant but thirsty…

I did not know the exact address of a girl that promised to take me to a Sahaja Yoga program. I went searching for her and I found her. It was snowing heavily and the bus was cancelled. We were late and had to take a taxi. When we finally arrived at the place, the programme was cancelled. There were few people outside asking the yoga-teacher some questions they had from the last time. I had no clue what was going to happen. One lady just asked me: “Do you want to get IT? Are you ready?” I actually had no clue, what it was all about. But I said “Yes, I am ready”. And then the amazing experience of Self-Realisation just happened to me: Deep… Still… Powerful.

Since then I have heard hundreds of such stories of seeking. Seeking and finding. I love to hear such stories much more that any other ones. For the seeking is something that goes beyond any other human experiences. If fact, it is THE SEEKING OF TRUTH that makes us live, suffer, love, surrender, cry and enjoy. Without this component I find a human life is missing something very crucial.

LOVE and great seeking experiences wishes you axinia

Relevant Posts:

I do not believe in God.

Meditation is like drinking

What is on top of your value system?

The Intellectual Quest


24 Responses to “My spiritual birthday today”

  1. Bala Says:

    May you get more and more enlightenment. Wishes

  2. Nita Says:

    happy birthday to you axinia. and never let your quest for the truth ever end!

  3. radha Says:

    You know few years ago i wrote the date of my spiritual birth celebration somewhere in a yahoo subscription, and now get birthday cards that day only. But some friends know i was born also in another mounth. its fun, we enjoy. Happy Birthday in Vienna now! and u inspired me to write more also about this experience in my blog. thanks & luv

  4. Ian Says:

    Happy Birthday Axinia! Your spot on…Knowing the self is what it`s all about. And “truly knowing” is a (long) life time journey…I wish you all the best with it and am sending much brotherly Love your way. Have a fantastic day!

  5. Winslie Gomez Says:

    Best wishes on your “spiritual birthday”.

    Your personal experince is a journey you have taken. Thank you for sharing it with others.

    I have found your articles to envoke positives in others.

  6. purespirit Says:

    happy bithday!! 🙂

  7. axinia Says:

    Dear Bala, Nita, radha, Ian, Winslie und purespirit – thanks a lot for your warm congratulations and for the undersanding of what this day means to me…

  8. leelajesus Says:

    Happy Birthday !!! 🙂

  9. Iranian Ajax Says:

    Happy birthday!

    But my birthday was when I took religion and threw it in the waste basket….where Islam belongs.

    But I am happy you found inner peace. that is what counts.

    Iranian Ajax

  10. axinia Says:

    @hearbviasna: thanks, it`s my pleasure!

    @Iranian Ajax: interesting! Any religion is limited though very true at the core of it…

    Sahaja Yoga is a combination of science and all existing religion, and still it goes much further and beyond all that. It is not limited by the human mind or rituals. In fact, you do not use your mind, you develop a new organ, like the 7th sense or live in the 4th dimension..something like that:)

  11. Clinton Says:


    I am happy that you have found spirituality. But what exactly is it that you have found which is true? Many people can claim spiritual birthdays. But often the “truths” these spiritual birthdays are based on are mutually exclusive and therefore in contradiction to each other. If what you have found is “true” (assuming that those things you found prior to this weren’t true in the same sense as what you have found now), should not I know what it is as well so I can experience this great “truth”? Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6) Was he lying? Or is what he said also true? I would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks for your post.

  12. axinia Says:

    @ Clinton: thank you for your question.
    For people who have got their Sel-Realisaiton and actually practice Sahaja Yoga I dare to calim that Jesus means much more than for any Chrisitan. In fact if you do not know Jesus and do know fulfil his message of forgiveness – you can not get your Self-Realisation!!
    It is absoultely true, he is the way (the narrow gate he was talking about does exist in the subtle body of every person, and one has to pass through it). A quatation from the Biblw if you like: “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
    Matthew 7:13-15 ”
    I KNOW Christ, I know WHO he is and what he gave to the humanity.
    But I also know Buddha, Mohammed, Rama, Krishna, Lao Tze… There is a nice picture on it http://eternalvalues.wordpress.com/2007/06/05/buddha-what-is-enlightenment/

    There is truth and beatuy in every religion and do know see that one is better than the other. That is why it is easier to practice Sahaja Yoga where you understand how they all connected to eath other and where you can actually practice all of then naturally 🙂

  13. […] hose who got their second birth via self-realisation this special pleasure is twice a year […]

  14. romee Says:

    well… i dunno if i have yet realised myslf, m confused….got a lot of confusions…all my family practise sahaj yoga n it gives me all the more guilt mny times, i love the idea of knowing myslf… but get a bit entangled in the technicalities,,, all d more the guilt is dere for not able keep my footing in sahaj yoga with firm footing… the biggest question in my mind is regarding …i ll be xcepted in the god’s kingdom for having orientation for the same sex.. i know may i shouldnt be puttin such things here….kindly ignore if u find it offensive… i ll be really glad if i could know wat god has to say about homosexuality…..

  15. axinia Says:

    romee, thanks for your honest sharing…
    but why do you ask me what God has to say about homesexuality???
    I AM NOT GOD!!! ask yourself…you will surely get an answer. B(but to ask yourself you have to know thyself:) – that is a dillema and that is your personal task to find it out. No human being can help you…

  16. guqin Says:


    Sometimes I believe everyone feels this longing for truth that you mentioned. But more often when I look around, it doesn’t seem so. Most youths seem hardly asking this sort of questions. Since you are now more experienced with people, do you think “your type” is rather rare?

    Do you view death rather differently before and after that special day? As I expect, true spirituality must set the person free from the fear for death, or even from death itself.

    I somehow got the feeling that the meaning or the design of death is to force people to be spiritual (One can image the effect of a youthful servant saying this to an aging king…). But on the other hand, most people don’t seem to “use” death that well.

    “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
    This message really troubles me: If by fact so few will find it, why God create so many (people) to live?…

  17. axinia Says:


    I am enjoying very much your unfolding on my blog from y political expert to a philosopher and a spiritual person!

    You keep asking important question, my freind!

    I believe “my type “is not rare, it is actually becommig popular! As I mentioned somewhere in another post, there have been NEVER EVER so many people in this world looking for spiritualiy as today!!!

    On the other hand, the modern youth seem to be completely brainwashed and messmerized by the media – so that they sometimes seem to have lost all their power will! I mean, I as quite a rebel in my youth, – and actually I still am if necessary…
    Many young people, even spiritually advanced, they are not willing to fight, they live more comfortable…that is the time.
    But you know, actually a truly spiritual person has many more means to fight the stupidity than one can imagine!

    I like your thought that “true spirituality must set the person free from the fear for death, or even from death itself.” “the meaning or the design of death is to force people to be spiritual”- that is for sure, I have no fear for death at all, but I will surely die one day 🙂 I mean my physial body will .

    And your last question:
    “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” – I believe the gate is open now for everyone, it is the question of DESIRE and of the honest SEEKING, which is not yet with everyone.

    I see life as a kind of an evolutionatry game… It is always an evolution, we want it or not!

  18. […] I found to Sahaja Yoga and what happened to me I described in an earlier post here. Today I want to share with you some  thoughts on my encounter with the Sahaja Yoga’s […]

  19. manish kumar Says:

    Is Sahaja Yoga from Maa Nirmala?
    I do not believe as u do not have any miraceleous powers – like knowing past,present & future of whole universe, control over hunger,thirst , respiration(air),. Leaving body , moving place to place by just wishing etc

    • axinia Says:

      It is quite miraculous in many ways, this siddhis you list here are very simple, i don’t find it fascianting at all. other things which one can attain trough sahaja yoga are more fascianting!

  20. […] family, it was  probably logcal for her to get attracted to spiritual seeking and when one day I came and told her: “Tanya, I think I HAVE FOUND IT!” she immediately wanted to join me. That’s the way we came to the fascinating Sahaja Yoga […]

  21. […] is my observation done for over 17 years since my Kundalini has been awakened. Within this time I had a couple of painful experiences but as far as I can judge, I did not learn […]

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