1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

But how to love? October 3, 2007

 photo by axinia


More and more people realise that lack of love is a real problem. Or even the source of all problems. Any kind of spiritual or esoteric literature tells the same: Love, and you will be loved.

That is so clear and so beautiful, and there is nothing else one can add to it.

Only one little thing: HOW to love? HOW to open the heart so that it can encompass all the people, the whole Mother-Earth?

I know of some techniques where they advise to imagine how you, say hug everyone. Visualisation. A clear and understandable tool. But isn`t it somehow unnatural, that I have to force myself to love? That I have to imagine something and hope that it works out?..

I believe that every human being is an endless source of love. And the only thing that does not let this love flow is – what could it be? – our good old friend Ego. Or Super Ego, another good one. These two are in a way necessary companions for us. But at the same time they are the reason for the lack of love.

Just think: what does not let me love my colleague? my boss? my neighbour? a stranger on the street? It is always a kind of conditioning or ego, nothing else!

Then how to love? How to love unconditionally and free of pain? How to love in the full beauty of this word?

Just go beyond your mind. In a state of thoughtless awareness there is no ego and superego, no mind, no desire. Only pure love…

Because it is the only thing that makes sense.

LOVE, axinia

Relevant posts:

The Ego and the Super Ego

Who is Mr. Ego?


23 Responses to “But how to love?”

  1. Farthel Says:

    All you need is love. Just say I love you every time you feel like. There are never enough I love you’s

  2. Nita Says:

    Axinia, I too feel that ego is the biggest hurdle to love. We have to let go of the ego…well, to a certain extent at least.

  3. […] You can read the rest of this blog post by going to the original source, here […]

  4. Tomas Says:

    Yes, all love needs is just the love. This looks so simple, but it is the hardest test. Have a look. Lots of people walk down the street under my window, but who sees the heart that gaze at them? I question my canvases and know for sure just one, my TV can’t substitute any person, but this box is all I can touch or not to touch.Such is the reality I have. Love is inseparable from patience to wait – that’s the magic of oaks who sough no matter listens anybody to them or not.

  5. axinia Says:

    Tomas, thank you for such a beautiful and poetical input, it touched my heart..

    In my next posts I will try to expand the topic of HOW actually to do beyond the mind, how to get to this blissful state of the thoughtless awareness.
    There are different ways how we can suddenly feel love (especially for somebody new), but if I get thoughtless, that is for sure that I will feel love pouring from my heart – to everyone.

  6. axinia Says:

    Farthel, that is a wunderful advice to tell “I love you ” everytime you feel it. I must admit, i really do so 🙂 Sometimes people I surprised, but I keep do it because I can not NOT expres it.
    However this works when my heart is already open. And what if it is not?

  7. axinia Says:

    Nita, one of my favourite quotations on how to let the ego go is this one:

    “You see, you should never fight the ego. If you try to fight it, it will sit more on your head. That is not the way to fight it. That there is ego and you fight your ego – “Oh, I am going to box you” – then it will grow more, you see. The more you box it, the more it will grow. Never fight your ego. Only way is to see it! Your attention is very important. Your attention is now enlightened. Whatever you see, it comes to its right size. Ego, if it is overgrown – you just watch your ego. Best is to watch yourself in the mirror and say, “Mr Ego, how do you do?” Then it will come down. But do not fight it – just to be seen. All kinds of egos could be there. If you are over-educated, you are egoistical. If you are uneducated, you are egoistical, because you must show you are something. All sorts of egos are there.”

    Shri Mataji, 1985

  8. Farthel Says:

    If your heart is not open, give it a chance to open. People may hurt you, but I think a broken heart can be healed, and it is worthy taking the risk of feeling a little pain, if somehow you witness the magic of love.

  9. axinia Says:

    Dear Farthel, open heart is not something when you are not feel heart – al least in my experience.
    In fact, i never feel hurt 🙂 And I love people and really enjoy being with them, any people!

    But the open heart experience is a different thing to me – it is kind of a physical feeling that the heart is being huge and wide open, and enlarges every minute! THis is a great feeling and I would love to have it all the time, but it does not happen always.
    Just to be nice, frogiving, friendly, open, etc. is there, but it is not enough for me.

  10. Farthel Says:

    I understand what you say, yes it is a wonderful feeling, and it does not happen aleays. I guess we need to constantly search for new people who make us feel like that. It may take some time, but it is worthy. Good life to you, hope you find a lot of people who will make your heart feel open.

  11. jael Says:

    your photographs are beautiful. would you mind sharing what kind of camera you use? is there anything special you do to get the vivid colors that are in your photos? thank you.

  12. axinia Says:

    Jael, thanks for appreciation! I use Canon EOS 400D Digital. I also usually do some contract correction (Photo editor), but very little and not for all the pictures.

    My secret probably lays in LOVE – I just love colours and beauty, I search for it, find it and take a photo 🙂

    I am not professional and I am not trying to become that. Even with my Canon I know probably only 10 % of what it really can. I also do not want to become very technical and to learn photography properly – I am afraid, the glimpse of a beauty-lover would disappear with the technical knowledge…

  13. Bad Karma Says:

    About being technically minded – I would not worry about losing beauty. Beauty shines to every corner of life.

    Suresh has a blog called Meditation Photography, I’m sure he knows a lot about taking photos, and the result is beautiful photos.

  14. axinia Says:

    thanks for the tipp – Suresh is my good blog-friend, of course I know his amazing style!

  15. JV Says:

    Delicate DOF in the photo, I liked it.

    It is amazing to see that we make efforts do what we are naturally capable to do :). Love is natural state of mind. Hate , ego and other negative emotions have no existence of their own. It is lack of love. Like, darkness has no existence of its own, but lack of light creates darkness, kindle a candle darkness vanishes.

    Of course, it is hard to love everyone, every thing as our prejudices, ego , fear create hurdle in the way of love.

    Sages for ages have been saying that start loving yourself, and if you are capable of loving yourself then you may possibly extend love to ot, hers. And if we make introspection , surprisingly, we find that there are many things of our own which we don’t like and we contempt ourselves.

    Try to accept yourself as you are but you will find it difficult. Dont think inferior or superior then anyone, be yourself.

    Often, we think both way at same moment, to compensate the opposite feeling. I feel that I not thin as other persons , but same time I take pride being taller than most of. Now, what is wrong being fatter than most, and what is big deal in taller than most of.

    So if we accept ourselves as we are, love ourselves, fat or thin, short or tall, rich or poor, failure or successful- there is no scope for hatred, ego, jealousy.

    I wonder if you have read The Power of Intention by Wayne W. Dyer. The book explains very clearly and the effect of such positive energy to surroundings

    Thanks for thought provoking post.


  16. axinia Says:

    Dear JV, thaks for such an extended and very valuable post!
    I agree that love to the world and people starts with the love ot ourselves. But what is this “self”??????? Isn´t it often the EGO what is being meant under it? When we do things that we think please us, but in fact they only pumper our ego? I feel it is very often the case…

  17. JV Says:

    Exactly,I agree with you. I am glad you understand that.

    Yes , even loving the self can be put as narcissism also if one treat oneself that way. But here love is to be put in different perspective than ordinarily understood.

    Loving oneself is the journey towards inner self. When you love yourself you no more identify yourself separately and found dissolved with the existence. Perhaps, that is thoughtless awareness!!

    As it happens when two human love they dissolve in each other. In such times we find the glimpses of eternal love. If loving one person is so pleasant, what will happen when in love with whole existence.

    These subjects are complicated to explain and easy to be.

    I enjoyed the conversation.


  18. axinia Says:

    Dear JV, straight to the point! – “These subjects are complicated to explain and easy to be.”
    I often feel a bit uneasy to tell things on my blog which are probably not familiar to mos to the most of my readers. But I do try to describe these wonderufl experiences and lessons learned in the hope that anyone may (later) expereince it the same and remeber, and not feel strange or alone…
    Life is so wunderful and full of LOVE – I wish one day we all will see and feel it. BE IT.

  19. radha Says:

    Yes dear all, it is not easy to explain the beauty of love. i love writing poetries to catch this beauty thru the words. That is one, for example.


    Where is the word?
    Where is the feeling….?
    Silence cannot explain
    Neither do the purest elements
    A sound cannot be invented
    It is already there
    Within the beginning
    How is the face of this world?
    Who is living this world…
    Can we touch its own heart?
    Can we melt in the whole Heart?
    Love is the word
    And so the rescuing feeling
    Love is the mantra of this World

  20. axinia Says:

    thanks, radha, really beautiful!

  21. Love is being, not doing. So even the question “how to love?” starts one off in the wrong direction. You love by simply being who you are. We are trained through education to not be who we are. Simply letting go is all that’s necessary.

    Wrote something myself of the oneness of Love:

    Loving Awareness: The unity in Love

  22. axinia Says:

    Mttew, I really appreciate your thoughts and ideas, thanks for sharing! In many ways we have similar experiences I guess 🙂 Have you got your self-realisaiton already? Or may be you are born-realised???

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