1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

I am not guilty! May 8, 2007

 photo by axinia

Feeling guilty is one of the most popular problems in the Western world (not sure about the East, would be great to hear some opinions). If you keep saying “sorry” – you are in the boat!

In the Christian tradition the feeling of guilt has been forced on the poor believers as a kind of an obligation. Being a woman, for example is a sin itself, they taught. Even if it was not the message of Christ – who was the compassion personified!- still it was a handy tool to control the “sheeps”.

The myth of guilt is rooted deeply in the collective consciousness, but it is only a myth. In fact, your true self – which is the reflection of the Divine – is never guilty. It is only if you act under the spell of the ego or conditioning you commit mistakes which give you the reason to feel guilty. In fact if is only the matter of wrong identification!

Feeling guilty is convenient, one can easily hide behind this pretty excuse. Suppose you have done something wrong – no sense in going around and moaning about it. There are two healthy ways to get out of it:

  • If ther is a way to change the situation – do so! Take to acton and improve it.
  • If there is no way to change it – forgive yourself and forget about the whole story. What is done is done, and if you can not change it, that is it.

I am writing about it because I feel the quilt is the true killer of JOY Felling guilty one can not be joyful, enjoy life. And this is the true crime!

The tricky thing is that it is almost impossible to get rid of feeling guilty.

And the only method I know is the experience of being the SPIRIT, dropping all the false identifications.

No mental activity will help you to get rid of it.

Based on my deeply personal experiences, I know I am not guilty!

And how about you?

LOVE, axinia

 

7 Responses to “I am not guilty!”

  1. diogenes Says:

    In the east, saying sorry may not be very common as in the west, though we hear this word a lot, even when the person saying sorry may not mean it.

    But what I understand for feeling guilty is different. To me it is the prick deep within that is a result of doing something wrong, bad, and wayward. And to me that is normal for any human with living conscious. Or else how will we know what is right and what is wrong.

    I saw you appearing on Google Talk yesterday but could not say this, “very warm welcome back.”

  2. axinia Says:

    Thank you, diogenes,
    It is true that people need some limits (I like the Indian term “dharma” which is even more that ethics).

    What I wanted to say is that if we make mistakes we should correct them if possible and if not possible – forget about it. Feeling guilty kills. And it does not lead us anywhere.

    If I do something wrong I will surely say “sorry” – lots of people can not even do that because it is a problem for them to forgive!
    But we should not hang on on it, that is the point.

  3. Nita Says:

    Like diogenes said all human beings feel guilt, whether in the east or in the west. However in the east we feel guilt for different things. Thats the important aspect in my opinion. For example take a simple thing like telling a lie. A westerner might feel very guilty, but in the east certain kinds of lies are acceptable and in fact a lot of rationalisation is done to prevent oneself from feeling guilt. However, here if one is even just rude to one’s elders, does not do a pooja or a prayer, do not cook food at home, it can give rise to immense and deep feelings of guilt. Also laziness is not easily forgiven in the west and gives rise to a lot of guilt, but not here. Here, having a lot of money and not sharing it with family (and I don’t mean just children) can give rise to guilt. Not leaving anything for your kids in your will can give rise to guilt.
    Its very complicated and worthy of writing a separate post, which I will do in a few days.

  4. axinia Says:

    Nita, lots of thanks, your points are very intersting and new to me! looking forward to your post!

  5. Sahaja Says:

    Very interesting thought Axinia …… One thing I did observe is as you said, they say a lot more ‘sorrys’ in the West than we do in east!

    About guilty feeling……well, its mainly when one doesnt respect parents or for that matter, anyone who is elder!! It could be guilty when cheating on very own people (spouse, parents etc)…Also, I dont know about west, but here in east we give a lot of importance to friendship and friends….so cheating on them or even hurting them wantedly could make the person very guilty……(its to an extent that the person though cheated knowingly would not be able to face his/her friend due to guiltiness)

    and about staying away from being guilty, hmm…..i think, may be sticking on to one’s values would be a good way…..being honest also helps!!

    Also, Axinia, I dont know about West yet…..but in India esp, people forgive and forget easily….so one way of avoiding guilt is go to the person and be truthful to him/her asking for forgiveness!!

  6. swaps Says:

    On the other hand, ‘guilt’ can be enjoyable.

  7. odzer Says:

    Ah good old Calvinism. You know if there was no guilt how would we control other people and manipulate them? As humans we have this tendency to stick our noses in other people’s lives because we know better than they do.

    Guilt is driven by our urge to be in control of a situation so all in all humans are going to keep going round and round in circles. As for Asians, being apologetic is more important than feeling guilty. If you say sorry, it does not necessarily have to mean sorry but if you do not say it you are in big trouble. Although Indians do not apologise and practice blame shifting, but then most Indians are hardly Asian.


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