1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

How to easily solve conflicts June 5, 2010

This is an old good tick in case you may need one day to make peace between two fighting parts.

The trick is of a purely psychological nature, and thus can be widely applied (there are some other non-psychological  more efficient tricks but they can be only applied by a person who can work with vibrations).

It is an old wisdom but it comes up very fresh even in modern times…

So basically if you have two people hating each other… just start telling each of them separately that the other one was just praising him/her for something (what can be realistic in that case). It is amusing to see the happy and astonished face of the person who hears that… :) It is important to start the procedure simultaneously, so that the both rivals can change their emotions at he same time.

Good luck in your peacemaker mission!

LOVE, axinia (image by me)

 

9 Responses to “How to easily solve conflicts”

  1. swaps Says:

    So it is okay to lie a little?? :)
    This is sweet of you. But fact is, adults know each other too well to fall for tricks…that’s my experience.

    (…btw, usually, when people smell a rift between two souls they they try to stoke it and take advantage of it. Isn’t it true about foreign policy too.)

  2. pooyan Says:

    Sweet lies ;)

  3. mahesh chendake Says:

    better to attack on egos. directly or indirectly. conflicts are many types .. approach..approach conflict can be solve by your simple trick of lie b,cause they want to dissolve, only requires to start by mediator and two way dialog.
    In the piece mission role of counselor? ( mediator) is very important. he should follow principles of counseling otherwise he may spoil everything..

  4. mirel Says:

    maybe used for some interpersonal disputes (such as disputes between neighbors, roommates, or co-workers)

    nonetheless,
    this scenario usually produces short-lasting ‘rosy’ outcomes with severe consequences later afterwards…
    sadly, in international arena, we’ve multifaceted examples before esp in US-Middle Eastern/Near Eastern politics!) typically the style destined to backlash in the long run! conflicts tend to be very complex and highly escalated, and involving high stakes!!!
    still remembering the ‘Oslo Accords’ signed in 93/ The Handshake: Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat with US President Bill initiated by Norwegian mediators! The hope generated by the Accords and political ‘capital’ spent to preserve its ideological and political trajectory have been replaced by cynicism, bloodshed…..

    during the last weeks, we experience the opposite kinda acceleration of tension in the Near/ Middle East!!!
    leaders literally putting oil to the fire, domestic politics at high stake, ! that’s just the beginning of a highly super sensitive period in this region.

    Mediation styles vary greatly according to the needs of the parties and the mediator. the question of neutrality and impartiality;0-0

    typical mediators supposedly have no BIAS toward one party or one solution over another. Many cultures, however, use mediators who are insiders. They are people who are connected to one side or the other, but who are highly respected by both sides, nevertheless. They also might have an interest in the final agreement as they tend to be members of the negotiating communities. Thus, it is in their personal interest that the conflict be decided in a way that is lasting and fair to all sides.

    a common approach which is growing in popularity is transformative or relationship-centered mediation( which resembles your above-mentioned style). Here the mediator’s primary goals are empowering both parties to act effectively on their own behalf, while recognizing the legitimate interests and needs of the other side. Often, by fostering such empowerment and recognition, the parties are able to develop a mutually-acceptable solution on their own. However, they are not pushed in the direction nearly as much as they might be in settlement-oriented mediation.

    I still feel that mediation tends to work best BEFORE conflicts become very heated. At the same time, however, they have to become heated enough for the parties to feel a need to resolve them. Thus, there is a VERY SMALL SPACE OF TIME in which the conflict is ready or “RIPE” for negotiation or mediation. If mediation is tried either before this time, or afterwards, it is unlikely to succeed.

    • radha Says:

      very interesting

      • mirel Says:

        I would rather they be totally honest with me, rather than ‘white’lie to cover up something that shouldn’t have been said. I hate lying. It takes away trust, and without that, you have nothing.

        Every relation will have it’s ups and downs, but it is up to the concerned partners to sit down and talk it out. Lack of communication will drive a wedge into it every time.

        There is no magic formula that resolves all disputes. Because conflict situations can be so diverse…be it interpersonal, micro or macro-level . A common false thinking goes that even a failed mediation brings the parties closer together. In reality, the opposite can be true!

        seeing others clearly reduces the confusion, biases and inappropriate ego expectations that prevent us from connecting authentically
        Willingness/PURE desire to solve, ‘shift’ in perspective, open ‘hearts’….components of conflict resolution!

        • radha Says:

          peraphs pure desire to solve is the motor of any solution. When in these cases there is pure desire, thingsw ork out gradualy to achieve the best solution available~

  5. Someone told me that haters are confused lovers. Do you think this is true?

    Destination Infinity

    • axinia Says:

      In a way hate resenbles love – because same as in love, haters keep the entire attention on the hating object. Probably the haters have a great potential to become lovers, because of this ability to keep attention so long on one subject…may be…but obviously they are not becomming great loving people. Instead, they cultivate this most dangerous emotion – hatered.


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