1000 petals by axinia

the only truth I know is my own experience

Who is looking for Russian men? January 25, 2009

Since I posted “What 1000 Russian men told about their female ideal”  last summer I keep getting most of the search engine visits for the term Russian men.  Apparently my post shows up on the second Google page while searching for “Russian men”.

That puzzles me every day when I look at my blog stats: who is actually looking for Russian men? I mean Russian women are quite popular on the bride market and if you search for “Russian women” on Google you will find pages and pages of dating sites, and very few articles. But Russian men? My experience tells that it it is mostly Russian women themselves who are interested in their fellow men but they will definitely not go to Google for that.

My blog stats made me investigate of what the world thinks of Russian men. Let`s see what the frist Google page shows:

“”What about the men? Are the Russian men all sexist alcoholics? How do they feel about Russian women looking elsewhere for husbands?…”

“Russian men attempt to treat women like princesses, and at least before marriage , When Russian men are out and about the city they ooze machismo…”

“If you ask russian men, they will say that women look for foreign men just for money. The single leading cause of death in Russian men is Russian women! …”

This feature is characteristic not only for Russian men but also for women, Let’s start with the fact that Russian men sometimes are very generous. “

“How to date Russian Men. Inspired by the heroic characters of Dostoevsky or Pushkin, many women regard dating a Russian men as a unique and exotic…”

Rather a controversial picture. But I think I can agree with everything here. And there is a lot more to say…

I like this article saying that Russian men attempt to treat women like princesses, and at least before marriage, cater to their girlfriend’s wishes. “But the Russian man, alone with his friends is almost always a hooligan! When Russian men are out and about the city they ooze machismo, but take a step into their home, or their parent’s home, and they are powerless. Russian women have figured this out. In the end the woman, mother or wife, will get her way. They have this subtle form of manipulation down to an exact science. But, a Russian woman loves her husband and needs him for other things than to rule the home life.”

This instruction how to date Russian men (I wonder who is intrested in that?)  is soooo sweet and pretty true: “Russian men are educated in the spirit of chivalry and are generally very romantic. They will drop bouquets of flowers to your feet and will protect you from burglars, even if it presents a risk for their own lives or budget. The only thing they want in exchange is your enthusiasm and praise.
The ideal woman of a Russian man should be very understanding and supportive of her partner’s ideas. (swives of Russian historical personalities have dedicated their lives to them, even without being fully appreciated by them). Russian men can accept many flaws in a woman and won’t give up on her easily, even if his friends or family are against her. But there are few things that can’t be forgiven: unfaithfulness, feminism and depreciation of russian culture or language. Russian men are very proud of their historical background and will not let anybody offend their culture.”

And this report tells another (bitter) truth:

Russian men, in general, are the ultimate frat boy, without even the facade of culture most American frat boys at least try to project. Russian men enjoy themselves, drinking with their friends long into the night, ignoring their women, unless they are hungry or the dishes are dirty. Many cheat and/or beat on their wives, treating them like they should be happy they have a man at all. The strange thing is, the women are happy just to have a man, for men are rare here. After the revolution, World War II, Stalin, and the KGB, Russia has a serious male/female imbalance. I do not know the exact ratio, but I have heard anywhere from 45/55 to 35/65 as the male to female ratio over the past 100 years. Men are in an enviable position, there are more women than men, so they can be jerks and still have a line of women waiting for them.”

When I moved from Russia to Europe I found western men much more interesting and attractive, and I realised what looser and drunkards Russian men were. I used to get into panics from only thinking of having a Russian man on my side… But Life teaches us a lesson, always. After some unsuccessful attempts with Europeans I ended up marrying a Russian man  – brilliant, good hearted and endlessly loving one. Here he is:

 

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

axinia

 

87 Responses to “Who is looking for Russian men?”

  1. swaps Says:

    Ah finally…. you know what I mean, the photo of course. (Helps me prepare :) Thanx.

    You know I was meaning to point out that your article on “What 1000 Russian men told about their Ideal Woman” is very popular, always being on the MOST READ list…. but I am surprised the reason is ‘Russian men’!

    About male-female ratio in Russia, I heard from a friend who studied there that he met a lady who grew up in a village inhabited by ONLY women, so once she was old enough she walked to the nearest town only to see what a person who grew a moustache looked like!!

    • slowrunr Says:

      Okay so how bad is the ratio? Is the ratio really so bad that Russiona men treat women that bad or is it a few bad apples spoiling the majoritys’ reputation?

      • axinia Says:

        Anfortunately they are not few…

      • Georgie Says:

        Trust me. I am a mature student from England who lived with a man from Stavropol in Moscow for ten months. He shouted at me daily with out reason, hit me, cheated constantly, lied about everything, stole from me, drove me away and discarded me for an unattractive co-worker. No one ever hurt me like he did.

      • Forster Says:

        Everything is normal in Russia, you’re talking about the Soviet years!

  2. axinia Says:

    swaps, I guess the male-female ratio is not that dramatic, but still you can see it just looking at any crowd in Russia.

  3. swaps Says:

    Axinia, this anecdote is very old….may be 60s.
    Btw, I think Russian men are exact opposites of me.

  4. Sahaja Says:

    another surprise for u Axinia….now dont say u are getting bored!!! with my full heart here it is!

    http://lovelysunrise.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/i-am-overwhelmed/

  5. Axinia,

    The problem seems to have gotten much worse after the collapse of communism i.e. Russian men completely immersing themselves in alcohol and literally drinking themselves to death, neglecting everything else. Why is that?

  6. artworkofhorus Says:

    men: the favorite topic? But not all of them are drunk … In addition, the Englishman already absolute champions of the bottle.

  7. axinia Says:

    The funny thing is that Russian men obviously like their image of drunkards… I have also hear than the Irish or Finnish are the worst, but they are not promtng their drinking culture that strong…
    And being Russian one always gets vodka offered, as the first thing. That is disgusting!

  8. artworkofhorus Says:

    I know you’re Russian and the Russians often tend to insult himself publicly. The find it cool … But what I see here that you do not like the men. With this setting will be very difficult for you to find a husband. You need not be so bad …

  9. axinia Says:

    to find a husband??? I have one, and he is just great :) Have you read the last passage of the post???

  10. artworkofhorus Says:

    Sorry … My eyes are not good. So here you have your husband in this way presents? Sure, he is for you the best of the best. I wish you a beautiful day!

  11. sandra Says:

    You are lucky to have a Russian man, I can assure you Finnish men are by far the worst, drunkards, no manners at all, not romantic, not intelligent, not talented, no sense of humor and very ugly.. oh, and I forgot, finnish people have bad genes, they have many genetic diseases because of not mixing with other cultures.

    I wonder why so many russian woman date or marry finnish men when finnish society is so rotten and behaves in such a racist way towards the russian, why not marry americans? why should a russian woman ruin her life by marrying a finnish loser? I will never understand it.

    • axinia Says:

      Dear Sandry,
      Russian men are not the best in the world, really…they have their special qualities but many are drunkards too and can be rude, etc… I think one can not say that men in one country are better than in the other. Like, I really appreciate Austrian men because when they finally want to marry, they take it seriously and normally become good husbands and fathers (although it taked them ages to come to that state!!!) :)

      Russian woman are not interestted in Finish men in particular, that must be a wrong expression. Soem Russian woman who are intrested in better material life abroad just try their best everywhere, in Europ and also in America. But that is not what the majority of female polulation does anyway.

    • olga-shulman-lednichenko Says:

      Korean men drink like fish..

      but why american specially?

    • ehsan Says:

      i need you if you want to be my friend and more………..

    • Mihail Says:

      I am Russian man!
      I believe everywhere men is bed and good!

      • Nail Says:

        I am the Russian teacher

        Hello , my dear abroad colleagues, I am the ordinary Russian teacher. I have been working at school for 20 years. I teach kids. I like my work, have much free time because my holiday vacations have 56 calendar days, and I am going to be a pensioner in 5 years.

        My Salary is not big – $500a month only. I cannot go to America (I have not enough money). Even If I will go there – it will be necessary to come back through Alaska by foot (it is a joke, you see).

        http://allforedu.ru/russian_teacher

      • erika Says:

        I agree. I have a psychology degree, I live in Canada close to the American border so I meet men from both countries and men from both nationalities can also be brutish, womanizing, abusive, alcoholic, inconsiderate jerks. It doesn’t matter what country you originate from…people, in general, can be good or bad, the good ones are just getting more difficult to find…or they’re already married.

  12. Delide Says:

    I’m from central Europe and I like Russian (or better Belarussian or Ukrainian, but Russians too) men!
    Western men aren’t so tender and they think more about sex than Russians…

  13. Ritzy Says:

    Russian Men I will admit are pretty Wonderful,Unless that is they are in their early 30’s and still live with their Mother! I get the whole meaning of the “FAMILY” thing. But isn’t the Man suppose to go on and have his Own house? Without the Mother So involved??

    • Ritzy,

      I don’t quite understand why girls are so baffled by men (who aren’t boys any longer) living with their mothers :???:

      Sure, it’s a part of natural behaviour for all mammals (humans included), especially males, to leave their mothers just before they reach adulthood. But human needs are a bit more complex than our mammalian cousins.

      Humans are emotional creatures and men are generally “emotionally challenged” when compared to women :-) though they are more self-sufficient than women in most other aspects :neutral: So a man needs a woman to supplement his relative emotional insufficiency throughout his life. When he gets married (or enters into a permanent relationship), his wife performs this role. Till then, someone else is needed. Is there anyone who can do this better than the woman who gave birth to him :???: That is, at least till he finds the love of his life?

      By the way, I’m not trying to defend those few men who take it to the extreme, by acting as silly “mama’s boys” all their lives :-)

  14. Amused Says:

    I must say that I was one of the people who searched for “Russian Men” out of curiosity and had stumbled onto your original post last year. I have been dating a Russian man for two years and when we first began dating I browsed the net quite a bit looking for cultural differences and quirks :P

    Most of the information you listed I have read also and consider them pretty close to real life, especially the comment about them being the ultimate frat boys. My Russian boyfriend is very much fond of his long drinking nights with his friends and completely ignoring me as he surfs the net for hours :\ I have not yet learned the ways to be “manipulative” like the Russian women have. I have heard my boyfriend speak this as well, that the Russian women have “their husbands’ balls locked in a jar on the mantle” HAHA! But this is not so on the outside of course. (And maybe he is dating me because I am not Russian and does not know how to have this influence…)

    • axinia Says:

      hi, Amused..thas for commenting. I quess zour Russian boyfriend is probably dating you beause you are not Russian :) There are some tricks how to control, but I think they go beyond words. I mean they are not consious..

  15. Amused Says:

    Haha! I don’t think I can control the subconscious :P
    I also think he will never get married. That’s not a Russian thing is it?

  16. N.M. Says:

    Hello,
    I am Polish (oh yes, historical and political things… but I think both him and me are objectve in these issues) and of course I used to date a Russian man. He dumped me because I was “not obedient” where he required me to stop sending him messages, and after a few days he sent me a reminder that “my value shares reached zero point and had been removed from brokers’ board” apparently. OK, a split is a split, why to talk later – at least about things that are relationship related (I wouldn’t mind keeping a friendship though). Or does he just want me back, on my knees? *lol* Last time he acted like that saying I “didn’t deserve the honour of meeting him again” I said fine, and kept silent for 5 days (sorry, but honour is a very Polish thing – we all have it!) and he wrote me like nothing has happened, being very polite and cute. :o

  17. Vladimir Says:

    Axinia, I have to admit that your blog is like music to my ears, being Russian (well half Ukrainian in fact).
    But with all their…or our..positive sides there some things we need to improve, well shaving more than once every 2-3 days for a start.
    But I guess it does not matter what your cultural background is as long as you have true Christian values and your ethnic origin just adds a bit of flavour.
    I am not sure if Ive missed whether you are of Russian background as well?

  18. Vladimir Says:

    ….Oh, should have looked through the website first…yes you are Russian

  19. Stav Says:

    What makes me lauth is that it is in Russian women blood to underestimate Russian man. I’ve been leaving in many different countries and met a lots of people. I never saw any other nations there women would say so many dirst against their man as much as russians. An here is good example – Axinia, russian man are pigs – but i married one – i am so haapy/ It such a chip way of make your self meaningfuWhy you dont you confer about russian woman. Every medditerenian man knows – you want to have cheap and fast sex – go first to russian girl. You want to have cheap lover – take a russian girl. And all what you can say that russian man are bad – wamen like you makes russian man being disapponted in russian women. Soon all foreign man will understand that out of those 100% super russian girl – 10 are good, 20 have to marry abrad cause not enoth men in russia – it is tru that today statistic says that for 1 man in russia 8 women – rest 70 are looking for riach sposor and until she wont get all your money you will be best of best. I feel sorry for foreign men – why they undeestimate their woman.

  20. Stav Says:

    I wish all russian women to find happenes abroad and lear to respect their men as it is doing foreign women. As many as i know russian girls married with russian men – they all happy. And only misarable, those like you – once had a bad relationship experience and now cause of it deceide what all russian man doesnt worth a penny – looking for happinest abraod. Why you dont mention about women those happines become in hell after beeing married with foreign man? Why you dont mention that all those troubles which you have describe are in every family and it is doesnt matter what nationality you are. I fill sorry for you that you dont respect your country and your men. Good luck.

    • axinia Says:

      Stav, it’s a pity you totally missed the point.
      I never had a bad expeince with a Russian man, just the ooposite! But I have eyes and I can see how my relatives and friends in Russia live…

      I have a great luck in my life in any respect, also with my beloved husband (who is btw Ukrainian) :).

  21. Juliya Says:

    I have now had three Russian boyfriends and compared to “Western:men…in almost all departments from chivalry to good sex…the Russian men that I was with win with flying colors. However, I think it is unfair to make sweeping generalizations about ‘Russian men” over “American men” or “Western European” men…with once exception. The majority of the American men treated me like a man…that is there was no chivarly; no helping me to carry heavy bags or to move heavy objects (without either brining it to their attention, or protest or both!). American and Western European men have no qualms against going ‘Dutch treat’ whereas with my Russian boyfriends to ask for such was almost an insult to their manlihood, and in the bedroom….my Russian boyfriends did not need any real ‘instruction’ regarding what made a woman feel good or how to enjoy to the fullest various sex positions. Also, the Russian men never forgot any holiday or chance to bring me flowers or a gift…and with the American men that I knew…to receive such a gift was indeed a rare occasion! I can only speak from my own experience and of course every individual is different, but I’m hooked on Russian men! Maybe there are a few good Western men, I just haven’t found them yet…and at this rate. Would I rather share one Russian man with another woman or have one American man to myself? The grief of poor treatment from a man undoes my self esteem…I am a very feminine woman. I think that answers the question!

  22. Alexey Gubanov Says:

    Hi! I’m Russian! Все, что написано выше ложь! Вы в каком веке живете люди! Неужели для вас до сих пор образ Русского мужчины, это мыжик в шапке ушанке с бутылкой водки и балалайкой в руках? Даже в самых глухих деревнях сейчас есть кабельное ТВ и высокоскоростной интернет! Алкоголики есть безусловно, но не поголовно же! Это все бред! Слушайте больше ваше СМИ, и так и умрете думая, что Чернобыль находится в Росии и по улицам у нас гуляют медведи! Те кто был у нас, знают как живут Русские…

    • Svetlana Says:

      Alexei….mne ochen ponravilos vashe viskazivanie….vot tolko nedavno sporila po etomy povody…Super!!!

  23. Igor Says:

    I’m quite confused with the point of this post. Axinia is presenting the idea that a Russian man is kind of mixture of an alcoholic and a jerk (at least this impression has got a majority of male readers who left their opinions here) and at the same time she is saying that she hasn’t had any bad experience with Russian men (!) but judges by her relatives unhappy stories (!!!). Moreover, she has a lovely Russian husband who is actually Ukrainian… Doesn’t the whole story seem weird ? It’s kind of soap opera.
    Axinia should carefully reflect on her real motives and try to find way out of these unhealthy conditions of compensating some past failures which keep chasing her.

    • axinia Says:

      Igor, I really had no bad past exeprinces with Russian men at all. Also my own father is a wonderufl person. My opion is base on the real-life stories of many many girls I know personally (in Russia and in the West). They are really nice people but somehow the average Russian men seem to become quite lost…
      I hope everyhting is fine with you Igor – luckily there are always some good exeptions in life!

  24. Elena Says:

    I M LOOKING FOR RUSSIAN MAN !!!!!!!!! LIVING IN UK FOR ALMOUST 11 YEARS -HAVENT MET ENGLISH MAN WICH WILL BE MY SOUL MATE , SOME ONE I CAN RELAY ON AND GROW OLD TOGERTHER.. THANKS GOD THAT I M VERY BUSY WITH MY WORK AND KIDS , OTHER WIZE I WILL BE RECK.
    ELENA

  25. A lurker Says:

    I’m dating a Russian man, and he has treated me better than any other boyfriend I’ve had. I was a bit surprised to hear all of these negative stereotypes, but my Russian boyfriend respects me, helps me clean and cook and is overall a gentleman! He moved to America when he was 13. His dad also treats his mom well.

  26. Ann mari Says:

    Hi im a single girl and all ive wanted in my life was to find myself a Russian Man. I think they are by far the sexiest men on the planet. Unfortuantly I live as far from Russia as can be in New Zealand so Russians are very hard to find. But i would even be happy just to have 1 to email from time to time so if theres ne takers please give me a buzz.

  27. Svyatoslav Says:

    Hello! I, too, a simple Russian guy. Something that I have read here puts into shock. Now try to debunk a few stereotypes: 1. Bear saw last time only in a zoo (the last time there was 3 years ago, I think this is animal abuse, do not go). 2. drunkards have not so much (and they are not hats earflaps). 8)
    most of the men with whom I am familiar purposeful, and they know what they want from life, the rest are playing WoW. 8)
    and those who have had bad experiences, encountered the monsters, which in any nation meet.
    and yet, even if not in theme, I want to learn english language to help learn Russian and chat with a representative of another country. if you’re interested, write sviatoslav.mishin @ gmail.com
    PS: I apologize for errors in translation.8) below tekts in Russian
    Здравствуйте! я тоже, простой русский парень. То что прочитал тут повергает в шок. Сейчас попытаюсь развенчать несколько стереотипов: 1. медведя видел последний раз только в зоопарке (последний раз там был 3 года назад, считаю это издевательством над животными, больше не хожу). 2. пьяниц у нас не так много ( и они не в шапках ушанках ). =)
    большинство мужчин, с которыми я знаком целеустремлены, и знают чего хотят от жизни, остальные играют в WoW. =)
    а те у кого был плохой опыт, натыкались на уродов, которые в любой нации встречаются.
    и еще, пусть и не в тему, очень хочу выучить англиский язык, помочь изучить русский и пообщаться с представителем другой страны. если интересно, пиши sviatoslav.mishin@gmail.com
    P.S.: прошу прощения за ошибки в переводе.

  28. Alex Says:

    Hi. I’m Russian.I’m 21. Well, I’m actually from Ukraine live on the East and speak Russian. What I wanna say here that all the stereotypes comes from people who don’t wanna find the truth. I’m 21 year old and I have never tryed vodka, never smoke as well. And it doesn’t mean that I’m afraid of something. I like extremal sports, my father is a pilot and I’m doing lots of stuff connecting with it. I was grown as a Russian, and very proud of it. But Life is very short. And I wanna try some new Experience. This time I gonna be in the USA, working as a lifeguard. But If my fortune will change and I’ll have a chance to stay to another country, like the USA, Canada, UK. I think that experience that I will get there will be the greatest in my life.

  29. sergey Says:

    hello i am a russian man and i am 30 years old. all i want to see the world. But i am so lazy dont have a job smoke and drink a lil bit and i like to eat and i am skinny. i am singl but i dont want to fall in love with someone from the first sight . So if you want to improve me or help me with my dream send me a message or money. Yours Russian guy.

    • American girl Says:

      Sergey, Get in contact with mid-western American women. Many of them support their husbands ans financially as well as feed them and clean up after them…There are many American women who adore Russian men..as we know that Russian men are very rare and exotic treatures and Russian men make wonderful trophy husbands or boyfriends. An American women will spoil you. I would love to meet a Russian man so that I can feed and clothe him. Many western men are very spoiled. I want to spoil a man who has never been spoiled. Here is my email. kookyfish@yahoo.com

  30. Lu Says:

    I wanted to thank you for your nice article. I appreciate that you showed both sides of the Russian man. I unfortunately often find only negative and stereotyped comments about them (usually linked to bridal agencies that are specialized in Russian brides and that try to encourage North American men to enter in contact with the women). I appreciate to see that there are very good and charming sides to the Russian man and the fact that you, yourself, have found the love of your life in a Russian man truly proves that stereotypes (there often are more negative that positive stereotypes) might be far from the truth. And I would like to tell all the beautiful Russian women that believe that the North American man is perfect (nobody is perfect), that maybe they might be a little wrong. I am a 20-year-old Yugoslav girl that has lived the last 12 years in Canada and personally I have not found anything interesting in the North American man (before I lived in Austria and Germany, however as a child I never paid attention. In fact, the very things that Russian men are accused of I have seen here in North America. Absolute lack of care, violence, abuse of substances (would it be alcohol or drugs), plus a disgust for commitment, vulgarity (especially sexual vulgarity towards women), greediness, lack of general culture, lack of care for his person … Now, I do not want to say that ALL North American men are like that, not at all. However, our perceptions might be influenced by our desires. For example, my disappointment of North America has driven me to embrace completely my Slavic heritage, and I have developed an idealist image of Slavic men in general (especially Orthodox men). I do not want to admit that there are wrong sides to Slavic men, as some Russian women might not want to admit that there are bad sides to North American men because it would crush their dream of a perfect man abroad. It is a little difficult to be objective in such a situation. I will still stick to my desire of meeting a nice Russian man eventually … Why, oh why aren’t there more Slavs in Canada … and why do they all stick in little communities!!! ;)

  31. Vasiliy Says:

    Hello ladies!
    I am a bit surprised by your interest in the Russian men!
    Yes, you have too many negative stereotypes about Russian people.
    But I’m glad objective assessment in the comments. Especially those that defend the honor of Russian men. Thank you!
    We are no better and no worse than the British, Americans, Italians and Africans – we are different!

    I do not mind to start writing or by a more serious relationship with a woman from the English-speaking country.
    You can write to me vasekru@mail.ru or FACEBOOK

    Regards
    Vasek (Vasiliy)

  32. Sasha Says:

    Hi everyone. Guess I’ll state my heritage first so you know I am not from outer space or something lol.. I’m a Soviet born mutt; Ukarnian, Russian, Armenian,Moldovan and Tatar. However I believe the soul (dusha) inside is 100% Russian ;). A lot has been said about Russian men ( and women) over the years, and as in the case of generalizations and stereotypes they do exist for a reason. That reason is simple, there are people that fit them. With that said, there is absolutely no excuse for taking that stereotype and applying it to every person of a certain background. Nearly 20 years in the states I can say that things like drugs and alcohol use/abuse are not a Russia exclusive problem. Men disrespecting women and treating them as if there are 100’s more where they came from, also commonplace. It must also be stated that as a person with a Russian background, it’s more insulting to see other Soviet expats here that help keep these stereotypes of “drunk gangsters” pervasive through western societies from the states to Milan. If we as Russian men want a better image, it is up to us to change it. I love and adore Russian women ( women in general but with a soft spot for Russians ;)) During the darkest days of the USSR ( WW2) it was the women that kept things moving on the home front, and on the battlefields ( some of the most successful snipers of the war were female ). I admire the tenacity displayed by women from my homeland. One day, god willing, I will be with my Russian sweetheart :) Until then it is my duty as well as the duty of all Russian men who wish to shatter an image of wayward selfish behavior, to do the right thing and be real Men.

    Good day to all :)

  33. Aleyna Says:

    Hello all!
    я уже давно живу в англии, и давно не обьщалась с нашими мужчинами. Хочу общатся! my email is alyenapanfilova@live.co.uk

    Axinia
    Very interesting blog!

  34. patricia Says:

    Real american lady looking to date and relate russian- ukraine- irish-latvian men. I am not a young girl and know what i like so i would be interested in mid age men who live on east coast. Please reply mspatte@yahoo. Iam not limited to the four nationalities above but the general vicinity. Please note this is not a desperate attempt for sex i just quite dating american men some time ago and also dont bother sending me lude photos or hard up guys who are married or begging for sex. So all in all i would love to meet a nice euro man

  35. Eugene Says:

    hi 2 all. I am from Belarus, wanna find a female friend from english speaking country for friend’s chat.

    P.S. Sorry for my bad english. I hope you have understood me )))

    my mail is 438536064@qip.ru

  36. Lita Says:

    This article gives me hope, and so do the comments -from them I see Russian men can be wonderful or awful just like men from any other country. All I know is, I’ve already been fascinated by the culture and language so you don’t have to worry about any grave insults. I’m not quite ready to meet one yet, but I look forward to it! :)

    (What degree of feminism do handsome Russian men not like? I’ve never believed ‘all men are rapists/pigs’ but I do like having my own house/money, and I’ll hold doors for men…)

  37. venustiara Says:

    I am a women from Malaysia, i have a Russian male friend.he was so polite and well behave…and i like him so much. I rather spend my whole day with him,then going anywhere with my girlfriends…hehehe

  38. Ben Says:

    Hi Axinia, I appreciate your blog and what you have written here. I have recently been contacted by a russian woman who told me she was looking for marriage & love outside of russia because russian men being bad, and that she had bad experiences with russian men who just wanted sex and naked pictures, so I decided to try to find out the truth about this stereotype as russian women too have a stereo type of being easy for sex and gold diggers a stereo type which would make it more understandable if the russian men look for sex too and wont stay with the women if they are unsatisfied and complaining because their man don’t make enough money or care about the sex that she is promoting or willingly giving. Having lived now in both Denmark, Ireland, the UK & US and other countries too I have noticed how the stereotype of women as easy for sex gold diggers, and men as sex crazed and unloyal fits men & women of virtually all cultures and has very little to do in specific with russian men or women. I think the media has created the hype and illusion of things in russia somehow being much different than other places in the world likely because there is money in it. The western world love to be told that they are better, and the easter world love to be told that there is hope of greener grass on the other side. All in all I think its very exaggerated and a big deception, for I do not think that russian men or women are much different than any other men or women. Women are easy for sex in most places of the world, and men think of sex most places in the world as the world is living on the lie that sex and money is the best there is so that we don’t need God or moral qualities such as honesty, love, respect and humility which would oppose those who lie and seek easy solutions. The real problem as I see it is that neither men or women in general do enough to promote higher qualities to oppose the lies and immoral values given us by immoral deceitful people who has sold their own value for money. Russian men and women live under the same culture so if there is good in this culture it is a credit to BOTH the men and women there and if there is bad it is also something I think BOTH the men and women are responsible for, and so I do not believe in easy solutions and think that anyone who believes in easy russian women or bad russian men already live an a lie which will make it tough for them to see the truth of their own poor priorities or the poor prioties of those who put stock in these stereotypes. I person who wish for more than money or sex would not give sex easily or seek sex so much and certainly not pay money for sex. I think men, women, russians and americans are in the same boat and need the same solutions if they want “quality” life, there is not easy solutions. Nothing of great value comes easy. I have long been single in the western world as I have struggled to find western women with strong value, but its no different for eastern women or the men. I guess I am the one who is different because I believe in something more than that and this would make me stand out anywhere as any women who did too would. To me its a matter of moral principles of right and wrong and not a matter of culture or sex.
    I wish you love and happiness in your relationship and sense both you and your “russian” husband has found some better values. Good for you. I respect that and appreciate the example you guys set of what is possible for those who try to do better.

  39. Григорьев Says:

    Here has come across casually your site and discussion about the Russian men. I Russian. I live in Russia since a birth. Call Vasily.
    Почитав article, I have understood that the majority of judgements обоснованны a stereotype which was imposed not clearly by whom. Not all Russian alcoholics. And you have enough such. As delirium concerning tyranny in a family. Yes, is also such, besides as well as at you, but it is impossible to name it standard line of the Russian man. As to pride of history of the fatherland, it is, it isn’t deformed. And pride of this should be. That it to understand it would be not necessary to be Russian, simply enough to know history of Russia.

    • Oh! HI Axinia! You gave us very interesting and clever post! Only this post means purely feminine opinion. Very subjective. I really want to explain the subsequent paragraphs:

      1. Trouble in the growing up of Russian men

      Now, take me (as an example) as an experimental rabbit. I grew up in a family where there were a lot of women. Father – journalist – used to be all the time at work, and my mom, three older sisters, grandmother, aunts – all are female. I was surrounded by women from the cradle. They did not let me to fall down even, because there are sharp furniture corners and etc. They didn’t let me to go on the street where there’s a cold weather because I could catch a cold. My every step controlled by women. I still remember me being five years old. My grandmother held my penis when I pissing in snowdrift! Can you imagine that?! Cold winter! Ice everywhere. All my childhood women carried me on their hands. They used to dress me, feed me, were engaged in doing with me school lessons. My elder sister taught me boxing even! Women penetrate my life since the beginning. Since embryo.

      2. About modern Russian women

      I am amazed sometimes. Our modern Russian women go on a tourist trip using the last
      parents money only with purpose to marry a western boyfriend! I ask them: what about love? At least, sympathy? Whom you will marry? And I had an answer: For anyone! But only a foreigner from a western country!

      So the great qualities that were characteristic to Russian women in times of Tolstoy, Dostoevsky – such as kindness, sincerity, tenderness, love to children, respect to her husband, care – all this no more in power. Now – wild capitalism, and – profit – that is what is valued. For a long time I was married to a Russian beautiful woman, but now divorced and don’t even want the new Russian wife. Disillusioned. I will long for, where possible, a foreign wife.

      3. What is interesting about Russian man

      I like woman. I grew up among women and always asked them, what they feel, what they think, who are waiting for and loved. If I see that a woman is carrying a heavy bag, be sure me to help. I appreciate a woman. Yes, I admit, that trying to penetrate in her soul, but only because it is interesting to know her better. Yes, I am very annoyed when my woman contradicts, arguing with me. In Russia always the man’s word was in final law. But If I love – I love. And if I hate- I hate sincerely, hardly.

      I admit that over the years, I have became less attentive to my ex-wife than in the first years. In the past I used to bring her flowers often, write poems to her, write humorous stories about us, defend her. Everywhere we were together. But then something broke in our mutual feelings. She began to get more weight, stopped care for herself properly, became rough. And in her brain now there is one bout – Money! Although I have always provided money to our family!

      I’m 39 years old and I realized: a Russian woman has strongly changed for the last 15 years. Believe Me. I know of. And for the worse: I remember me being a student and I was surprised at how a lot of beautiful Russian women and girls went to work as prostitutes, as soon as USSR ruined and came capitalistic freedoms in the 90-s years of the last century! Yes, women change easier. They are by nature more adaptable. Man changes is much more difficult. Russian men had changed hardly.

      Ladies and girls! We are not so dreadful – russian men. But sometimes I hate ruusian men! Example. Yesterday i drove a car in west part of Moscow. Wide street imagine with hundreds of cars,pedestians,people all around.Strong traffic, On the opposite side of the road new shining honda Civik stoped. Two men crawled out and (sorry for a naturalism) started peeing on a side of a road!
      Women, kids, people everywhere! But those two did not care. Drinking beer. each one kept a can in one hand.there is no police close. Those two finished enter the car and drove away.
      So, I an russian and sometimes russians make me hate them! Strange,
      And I am a caltural man have a university degree also can stop my car in city and make the same thing as those two on Honda had done…

      Sorry for my poor English.

      Ladies and girls. If you want to know more about russia man please contact me! I am russian man! And proud of it. And wanna to protect the dying breed – Russian man…

      mbercc@yandex.ru

      my site

      http://bersenev.ucoz.ru/

      • axinia Says:

        Spasibo, MIkhail, a valid input :) I can hear the cry of your soul…well, seriously, it is true what you are saying.

        • really Axinia, soul can cry…
          One more thought on post. A small pain lives in heart of russian man. may be that is why he tries to cover it with alcohol? I am not sure? but want to tell you about the concrete feeling.

          I feel the wound in my soul still, for example. And I am not the only one! Just imagine the following. I talked to many men my peers born in 1972-1975. Foreigners may laugh, but I am still very sorry that the country I was born – USSR – had gone forever. I thought all my childhood that I live in the best country in the world. Propaganda of the USSR worked good. It was a great illusion, lie, forgery, but we loved this country because did not nothing at all about other world.

          My peers male also still disoriented and upset that our homeland disappeared 20 years ago. Now we live in Russia. Different country. I am grateful to Gorbachev’s reforms on the one hand, because now I am free to travel around the world and to declare whatever I want in political aspect. But still there is a strong feeling in current Russian men heart that we are divided in two parts: one before our motherland ruined, and another one after it.

          New generations of Russians do not care about USSR. But a Russian man average age remembers it good…

          Also you Axinia suprising me! you don*t like russian man in compare with western one but how did you manage to marry the russian man???!!!
          Сarma? Accident? is he a billionare?

          Should be an explanation of this astonishing event in the universe!!!!!!:))))))

          • axinia Says:

            I know what you mean Mikhail, both my husband and I belong to the same generation as you do and we too miss USSR in a way…so many things were really good, and especially the values and the caliber of people. Yes, the propaganda worked well but exactly thanks to that propaganda there were many great people and now…where are they? all lost in materialism…

            good question why I married a Russian (in fact Ukranian, but he is very much Russian anyway :))
            I can tell you – because that was the perfect match. in all senses! we fit each other just like two halves, regardless the nationality :)
            Well, not really reagardless… it is good we speak the same language because we both value language a lot and can express a lot with the play of words /jokes/ anekdotes (which is only possible at the native level of language-speaking). SAme values and same background play a huge role as well! After all, marrying your landsman makes many things easier I would say :)

            But on the other hand….

            My sister is married to a German and they are also very happy. Very differnt but still very happy…well, what’ the mystery of a good marriage then? Check my post on it:http://womanpower.wordpress.com/2007/03/28/marriage-made-in-heaven-russian/

  40. Dave Says:

    Happy New Year everyone.
    With regarding to Russian men, I’m wondering what is the Russian men’s reputation before the Soviet collapse. I thought all of these moral declines, which might be related to Russian men’s behavior, might have something to do with destroy of an existing society/system (the establishment) before setting up a new system.

    • axinia Says:

      Hi Dave, this can be a good reason too, alongize with many others..

    • I celebrated the 2012 New Year right on the Red Square. At 24 – 00 opened a bottle of champagne close to Kremlin. There were a lot of people, police, bright fireworks and we even made a round dance (horovod) around the big Christmas tree on Red Square. Excellence!

      But…You know I can*t understand why for more than one hundred thousand people the Moscow authorities forgot to install the hundreds of mobile toilets at least????!!!!

      The queue for each toilet reached for 50 people! Everybody drank a lot of champagne, vodka, beer and metabolism on frost ran harder. But only ten, may be 20 spare toilet cabins were available! Why? Moscow authorities had spent billions $ for celebration, for security demands, for marvelous show but did not care about the small detail – toilets…

      That’s why I four times got wet the Red Square. I «soaked» the Main Square of the country and thousands of men have done the same! Because no way to trick physiology.

      So strange things happen in Russia sometimes: excellent holiday show, huge TV screens, good concert of singers but no usual toilets.

      Anyway, HAPPY NEW 2012 YEAR to all people!))))))

  41. Generally I don’t read post on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to check out and do it! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you, very nice post.

  42. Erin reed Says:

    I want to find good young russin men? How do I do that in Cincinnati Ohio? Are there places that offer dating sites?

  43. Eduard Says:

    I don’t want more time to talk about stereotypes. Now mass culture dominates the world through the media. In Soviet times, our country was closed to Western culture. Then you can really talk about Russian men, as a unique phenomenon. The youth of today is not very different from European youth.
    If someone wants to make sure that Russian men are not unique – mailto: edhack.mephi@gmail.com.
    I am 23 years old, live in Moscow.

  44. Spanish Girl Says:

    I am very attracted to Russian men. I am 33, with kids but I have learned Russian, feel so comfortable with this culture and the language, even though my background is hispanic. But I would gladly embrace all from a Russian man and have as my own if there was a good one looking for me. Since I have experience being in a previous relationship and I am confident and know what I want, I will not settle for less. I am one of the few I guess of foreign women looking for Russian men. With all I know, all my talents and my zest for life, I think I could be happy and make happy a Russian man. But hard to find one that is not looking for a 20 something. :( Im fabulous at my age in many ways, looking for a Russian man between 28- 40 :). So I came here to find information about the odds. I am quite disappointed to read most of the information I’ve read about Russian men that is on the internet, such as , that they treat women like commodities, heavy drinkers etc… But I will still hold out hope there is a right one for me that will love me for more than my physical appearance and enjoy all I have to offer.

  45. RUSSO LOVER Says:

    Same here! I also have heard of the stereotypism of the Russians and it’s kind of crazy I do believe that in fact not all russians are cheaters, beat on their women and/or drunkies. I have met a russian man through a friend who now lives in NY and we’ve only spoke on the phone never in person. We’ve known each other now for some 6 months, and he truly is the sweetest of all men I have ever conversed with, true he does love his cognac occasionally but a real smooth caracter hardly gets angry, very smart man has good education, morals, so sometimes i wonder about his nationality because he really talks so high about his country. It’s weird because I am Puerto Rican half Filipino but raised in N.Y. This man really impresses me in the way of his words and his ways oh and last but not least his russian accent that drives me up the wall. SOOOOO SEXY WOW!!! I never thought I would be so attracted to a Russian man. If it is true about these men imagine what they say about puerto ricans and puerto rican women/ there is always good and bad in people just get to know them for yourself and that really is the correct way of judging.

  46. Di Says:

    Im à woman of Latin American descent, raised in Canada. I love above all other languages and have learned the Russian language well I am told, I cook Russian food and I adore and respect Russian culture and especially Russian Soviet men above any other I feel. For me, they are a treasure that you must appreciate and understand in a special way. I know I might sound so ridiculous but I know that what good things they’ve said about the Soviet Russian man are true. I only wish very soon thus kind of man will find me and we can love eachother because I have more than plenty of love and fierce passion to give that Russian man, and be understanding of his Ways.

    • I was in a relationship with a Russian man for four years. I loved him. Most of the time our relationship was good, He was funny, romantic, passionate and caring. But jealous and untrusting. Always accusing me of cheating or not loving him or using him, which I could never understand. I was faithful, loving and a good wife to him. I left him about ten months ago. I know that some Russian make a bad name for themselves but this is true in all race and cultures. Now I am single and ready to find a nice man but I am now only attracted to Russian men. I don’t know where to look,,, Can someone point me to a good Russian man?

  47. Real russian in this chat Says:

    The image of Russian men is wrong. You see only one side of medal… but you never seen real intelegent russian men!!! I love my wife, and I would never hit my wife! What kind of nonsense? Where you picked up a little of it all? The person who wrote this article has never communicated with the normal Russian. Sorry, but you have a vague idea about Russian based on jokes about us. Do not assume that a Russian woman just glad that she has a husband. They LOVE US and we love they!

  48. Assyarian Says:

    hi..I really like read your blog..now, i start close with Russian man, he really nice and care, he even know when i felt sad or my mood down, but he really workaholic. I don’t know how to take his attention, i’m afraid become too aggressive..Would you like give advice how to get close with Russian man? What type of woman that Russian man like? not all Russian men are drunker, and they’re really romantic

  49. mikhailfrommoscow Says:

    I am improving my English in school for adults in the center of Moscow now and we have a teacher from America/ She is a young girl. She says she loves to live and work in Russia although she has came from a warm U.S. State Olabama. She meets Russian guy. Her salary here is more than she could reach in US.

    She says that Russian men surprising and frightening her. She loves Moscow. There are as she says expensive cars beautiful houses nice people here. But all goods and real estates are expensive and always rain or snow. There is something in a Russian man attractive even for foreign women. Those women are courageous to go and work in Russia but nobody regretted yet.

    I travelled a lot in Europe and in the USA and in Asia and see that Russian men are now buying up hotels, shops, factories. That means not ALL of the Russians are drunkards. In Austria local men cannot afford to buy the hotel but Russians buying and very much.

    Look at Moscow in daylight and night. Expensive cars billions lights thousands restaurants shops and boutiques latest high-tech cinemas and theaters available. That city never sleeps and all this had been done by hands of Russian men too.

    Russian men changing for sure.

  50. tina Says:

    I was 7 years with a russian man even i did not stay with him i think russian men are nice and would like to meet one agaiin.

  51. Alisa Lam Says:

    I agree with you. Russian men are the most stunning men on this planet. There are no ugly Russian men you know? I mean, Russian men are tall and in excellent shape. What else do you need from a guy? Russian men are just so lovely and appealing.

  52. Criterion Says:

    Ahaha, your stereotypes are so funny :D
    There’s not so many people that fit to this portrait

    But there are so many bears on streets, balalaikas and we are presenting vodka for our childrens)

  53. lara Says:

    hello axinia :)

    i read your blog, and interested ^^
    currently im dating a Russian man, me my self is asian :) i realized that there is a huge culture different between us, and im willing to know more about Russian culture and their men.. mind to share with me more about it? :)

    have a nice day ^^

  54. allu Says:

    Huuuh searching for a woman :)) contact me if interesting blademaster852@hotmail.com , Russian guy from Finland 23 y old :))


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